i went snowboarding for the first time today. i'm so sore, but it was fun. i wanna go again.
happy new year everyone. :)
for new year's eve, i'm just chillin like a villain at home. watching movies... nursing my wounds.. haahaa jk. (... not. :P)
anyway... happy new year everyone. :)

oh yeah.. i forgot to mention this but for those of you who aren't doing anything tomorrow (Saturday) night or day or both, give me a holler! (the parental units are having a getogether with people their age and i don't want to ruin their fun so i'll be out wandering around in the world so yeah let me know... PLEASE PLEASE!!
ok.. how low have i gotten to beg people to hang out with me. ::sigh::
now i'm just rambling. stopping now.

ok.... hung out with my cousins in pasadena
went to southcoast yesterday bought some cards and giftwrap.. south coast was HUGE and PACKED. but it was fun.
didn't go to the park today but spend the afternoon having some quality God and Roz time... yeilded 2.25 pages of single spaced reflection and prayer and more reflection on the past semester, next semester, friendships, ministries family... future. so here are some conclusions also prayer requests for the coming semester:
1. SFC ministries, stuff to do, stuff to plan.. other stuff.
2. Academics, striking a balance... worked on the balance last semester got overwhelmed a couple times, but slowly improving. amongst the busyness God has blessed me with soOOOoOoOoOoOo much.
3. Building friendships/relationships with people...having more Christ centered friendships and having fun as well.. but not just based on one or the other.
Yup that's it. oh and something that encouraged me today from both the Bible and C.S. Lewis. Getting back to the basics.. milk before solid food, crawling before walking before running. 1 peter 2:1-3 and the making and begetting chapter from mere christianity.

on to random stuff: wisdom teeth being pulled out.. WHOOHOO! yeah baby, gotta love those wisdom teeth.

sick. call and make me feel better!
and no i don't have the man voice yet.

final went well
lord of the rings was awesome. :)
home...

so uh.. yeah.
in the library. it's so lonely here in the library... it's just me and the cubicle (we've gotten to know each other pretty well) well.... christina, asa and jon mi are here as well... but i've formed an emotional attatchment to the cubicle. i was thinking about my little cousins today... they're so cute. i forgot to ask my dad to send me the pictures of when we went to their house during thanksgiving. the whole family on my mom's side is getting together this coming weekend for a family reunion/picture. i have a feeling we're gonna do the whole family-portraits-cake-on-the-makeup-really-expensive-background stuff because it's very very very rare for my mom's whole family to be in the same city let alone the same country.
but yeah...i think i'm gonna go to pasadena an visit my friend terry and my cousins because they're SUPERCOOL! (how's that for working on my vocabulary.. but it's not totally deviant from fun stuff)
anyway, it's the last day of studying...it would be awesome to take my final today at 5:00 'cause it feels like i've been studying for ochem since august...
there are a lot of things i want to do this break...
listen to pastor rick's sermon's on relationships (i figure... i'm turning 20 soon maybe i should get some Biblical guidelines to dating into my system)
read through my illustrated history of china book (they actually use this as a textbook.. wonder how it'll be)
finish Mere Christianity
play tennis with my friend terry
go to irvine with my friend justin and visit connie (HI CONNIE) my cousin marianne, norman, nina, and everyone else...
maybe hang out in westwood
college retreat
hang out with my little cousins in pasadena
hang out with sam and kelie (wanna go to 3rd street or westwood? I actually wanna go to beverly center and check it out.. maybe.. possibly.. OUTLET SHOPPING?! teeheehee or at least we can go to southcoast... i wanna actually get something there this time)
rent and watch as many movies as possible
hang out with sfc-ers on their socal trip (learn how to snowboard)
sit down at the park on a sunny day and reflect on how the year/semester has been and just have some quality God and roz time (that'll be awesome, too bad i'm not bringing home the guitar)


ok.. i think i've taken too long of a break... back to the books.

the eyes are kind of dry...
head kind of heavy...
i don't have a smile on my face...
tired of studying ochem.
it doesn't help with the seasons up and down and other imbalances, too.

so why am i studying exactly?

"here i am, once again,
I pour out my heart for i know that You hear every cry, you are listening,
no matter what state my heart is in
you are faithful to answer
in words that are true and a hope that is real
as i feel your touch
you bring a peace to all that's within
in the safety of this place
i'm longing to
pour out my heart
say that i love you
pour out my heart
say that i need you,
pour out my heart
say that i'm thankful
pour out my heart
say that you're wonderful..."

three down.
played guitar for worship yesterday...played better than i would if i played by myself, weird huh?
sfc christmas party tonight.
something i want to do: sit in front of a screen and watch movies/friends until i fall asleep and stay asleep for 12 hours. that'd be awesome.
oh i wanted to share something...
James 4, especially the last verse. really convicting.

two down... very glad that bio is done.
some good news from 300 miles away, my MOM is FINALLY HOME! I got to talk to her today. I'm tempted to go home for the weekend just to see her but i'll be home next week.
Taking a break from studying. wish i could take a permanent break but that's fine... just one more week. :) and the gsi said that i'm doing well in ochem so that's encouraging, i've been scoring 60s and 70s on the tests which is kind of discouraging. but anyway...yeah. i was pretty apathetic about this bio final simply because it was evolution. yeah i liked the plant biology because the professor gave it a medicinal spin, but the evolution as jeff and i like to say "IS ALL STINKIN BUNK" well he didn't say stinkin but anyway. i didn't have the most positive attitude about this section of the course because i don't agree with what they teach and some of the information is just not consistent with other realms of science like chemistry and physics. so i don't know. it's in the past i can't help but think that my behavior wasn't wise. the more mature thing to do would be to learn and listen to what they have to say and to just be respectful and study the material without complaining because after all i did voluntarily sign up for the class. also, when what was taugh contradicted my personal beliefs, i could have questioned respectfully and tried to bring up other issues that weren't covered that might contradict what the professor has to say and have this boldness to share the Gospel... but i didn't and it's a shame. there's this fear of talking to professors about "religious issues" because they're so much more academically "experienced" and can probably shoot down whatever arguments i have because i'm a mere 2nd year and they've gone through, what, many many years of schooling and teaching? so yeah i have the disadvantage here, but then again i'm forgetting what kind of Power i'm getting strength from. If God can create a world fully sustained within itself filled with life then He is able to combat whatever academic arguments against His existence. like Moses, I keep saying i'm not well spoken i'm not good enough, in essence i don't want to be the one You send. but how effective is that?
The wicked man flees though no one pursues,
but the righteous are as bold as a lion. -Proverbs 28.1

which is better, to have your hardest final first to get it over with or to have your hardest final last to have more time to study? decisions decisions.
one down, 3 more to go.

taking a break to cook tonight. it'll be awesome.

Check this out. haahaa. :)

WHOOOHOO i got into ochem. That was superquick.
now it's music. don't worry scott, he usually lets like the first 15 people on the waitlist.

Change in the study schedule for saturday:
1:00-5:00 VLSB it's raining.

REVISED STUDY SCHEDULE
Friday December 6: 1:00-5:00 VLSB (i forgot that VLSB closes at 5:00 on fridays)
Saturday December 7: 10:00-12:00, 3:00-5:00 VLSB (going swimming at 12 with jessie... i THINK)
Sunday December 8: 4:00-11:00 VLSB

enrolled in:
Biology 1A
English 45C
History 9A (backup in case music doesn't work out)

waitlisted in:
Chemistry 112B (#23)
Music 25 (#11)

we had worship practice today...i feel as though i need to improve..a LOT. so the practicing will be good... it'll be a good excuse to play guitar. :)
vlsb is like my 2nd home. 2 of my lectures are here and a lab and i study here. the computers are cool and the 2nd floor study area. EVERYONE GO!~

trying to increase my vocabulary and not say STINKIN, STUPID and FUN as much anymore. so we'll see where that goes. an english class will help.

STUDY SCHEDULE
Wednesday December 4: 4:00-6:00 PM VLSB
Thursday December 5: 7:00-11:00 PM VLSB (someone come, i don't wanna walk home alone at 11)
Friday December 6: 1:00-6:00 PM VLSB
Saturday December 7: sometime between 10:00-5:00

Studying Tuesday December 3, 2002.
VLSB Koshland Biosciences Library 2:00pm-7:00pm
(also can be characterized by between lab and HBS) Come if you want to study.

back up in berkeley. study time.
Will have a schedule soon...

ELATION.
Midterm done.
Home.... feel's SOOO good. I think i'm gonna watch some movies and bum around on the couch tonight. :)
::sigh:: sooooo glad to be home.
i wonder if this is the feeling you get when you get to heaven, knowing you're home... fun stuff.

studying alone today in my apt. God, me and the books.
Abba Father, forgive me of my attitude. humble me and make me so that i study to Glorify You, Amen.

going to class now.

HOW COOL! beign self centered and very sidetracked.. i searched my name on google and i'm actually on a berkeley website!
on this website.

I no longer feel whole... i lost my pencil pouch and my nalgene bottle with the sorta deformed cap that i accidentally partially melt last year and now it's kind of leaky... hmmm.. need to some how give order to my writing utensils. the only survivor is my pencil.. the maroon pencil that cost a sort of fair amount.
I have a cd of sister's appreciation pictures and monterey bay. if you wanna see 'em let me know.
ANNOUNCEMENT!
i'll be studying somewhere on campus everyday.. probably until finals. so if you wanna come study, come! we can do the don't sleep accountability thing. so... tomorrow from 11:30-2:00 VLSB KOSHLAND BIOSCIENCES LIBRARY!
yeah...

STINK! meteor shower at 2:30 and class at 8:00 am doesn't match.
ok... on to something else... THANKS ERIC SECRET BRO DUDE!! I'm now using the box to hold my really nice metallic pens. They fit just right which is quite nice.

so yeah... i'm on my.. i mean christina's computer 'cause i sent nigel out under the care of gregory to get fixed up for praise night. it's the first time i let nigel go to a sleepover.... he's my baby.
i'm SOOOOO excited about praise night tomorrow. :) It's gonna be awesome.

guess what guess what?! i only have ONE CLASS TOMORROW!!! HAAHAAAHAAA. but the stinkin class is at 8 stinkin in the morning. oh well. :) i get to go shopping for bro's app. dunno what to wear.
oh my goodness beautiful mind is SUCH A GOOD MOVIE!! the guy is daaang smart.
dude i can understand why it got 4 academy awards (INCLUDING BEST PICTURE) like all of those boxes say.

here's an amusing story from monterey. we're all outside in the back of the aquarium overlooking the bay and this seagull lands on the railing. it appears really calm we i try to step closer to it. i think a camera was involved.. so i step closer and stare at it and it kind of stares back.. it's butt is facing me so it's head was turned towards me... and when my face gets a foot away.. PLOP! it goes poo. it was kind of funny because it didn't move or anything. maybe it couldn't move because it was so lethargic and concentrating to get the poo out. or maybe it was so scared of my menacing presence that it had to go poo.. like mice do when they're scared. yup.

my sister's boyfriend suggests that i go to the blue nile. so i will. anyone wanna go eat at the blue nile for dinner sometime? comment or hit me up with an e-mail, im or tell me or something and we'll set up a group outing to the restaurant where there are no utensils and you eat with your HANDS! i heard it was really good. so yeah let me know.

monterey was SOOOO fun. I have lots of good pics. it's beautiful in monterey. the brain is tired.. ochem quiz tomorrow. this is for you! yes.. YOU!! I'll be at vlsb (KOSHLAND BIOSCIENCES LIBRARY) tomorrow after ochem lab. I predict at about 3:00 or sooner or later i dunno, but i'll probably be staying until 7 or something. If you want to join me you're welcome to. (i also need someone to walk home with) so yeah...

KOSHLAND BIOSCIENCES LIBRARY 3:00 (tentative)-7(also tentative depending on the productivity) ok? cool..
nite all.

taking a PHAT break from studying for ochem.

so i want to dye/bleach/streak my hair red. any suggestions? though there are more downsides than upsides. maybe one day when i'm moody or something and feel like doing something drastic like pierce my cartilage and dye my hair, my parents, especially my dad would freak if he saw my cartilage peirced.

eva dinner was alrite, there was no one to evangelize to. it was just tony and justin ('cause it was at their apartment), eric, christina and me. i've been missing contact on fridays, kind of want to go out one of these days, when it's not raining. :P i was looking at my list of friends, and my closest friends are christians (haahaa i almost typed christinas, which is true too haahaa) Anyway, yeah I'm evaulating my friends and wondering why is it like this? during class or lab or discussion or whatever, i don't usually talk about personal stuff with my classmates which is a really good place to make friends, but i think i'm comfortable enough not to extend my circle of friends, but that's not good. my life needs to be a constant witness to those who don't know Him even though my life is far from perfect... yeah i've been realizing a lot of my weaknesses lately...i need to work on being less egocentric and more Theocentric or peoplecentric or something, i need to work on having good conversations with people getting to know them better, asking probing questions and being able to answer them myself to establish good friendships...i need to strengthen my prayer life, my reliance on God but then again, it's not me who changes me.. it's the Spirit who changes me... being moldable, changeable, having a child-like heart, child-like faith and a child-like mind and yet being as shrewd as a fox...

so at eva dinner justin asked this question: "what about sfc would you like to change" and i answered that the worship would be filled with life, people move to the music, they're smiling, clapping, standing up, singing raising up their hands.. being uninhibited in their worship to the God who created them" and justin said, you have a point, but the worship leaders are the examples and should lead in such a way.. so i've been thinking about it
Praise night is coming up...God has answered so many prayers already.. I have a prayer request for Friday, too... that our corporate worship as well as individual worship would be like david worshipped, shouting and dancing to the LORD... none of this self consciousness because true worship isn't scared of what the person next to you is gonna say about you standing up or moving to the music or raising your hands you know?
Abba Father, you are infinite, all powerful, all knowing and you deserve so much more than what we sing, play or give to you. Lord, please forgive my irreverence coming into your presence, into your sanctuary, Lord I pray that you'll change me, humble me. Lord I thank you for creating something so beautiful as music, that mere disturbances in the air could create such beautiful melodies. I pray that we would use this gift to your Glory, that it would be used to encourage to reach out and to be a reflection of the Love that sent your Son to the cross. I pray for this friday. I pray that people would sing for joy with all their heart that they would praise like the author of Psalm 47 praises. Lord I pray that your Spirit would be there that the worship team and I would worship with all our hearts to smile, to sing as if we were excited children, that which we are, Lord. You alone are worthy of our praises. In Jesus Name...

new aspiration!!!
I want to spend a couple weeks on a penguin photo expedition... to either the falklands or south georgia or new zealand (LOTR!!). That would be fun, and yet very taxing.

THREE DAYS UNTIL MONTEREY BAY and PENGUINS! :)

yosemite pictures updated...some of it.

Hello... I GOT MY CAMERA!!! teehee. :)
See here: My Cousins

WHOOOOO I'm wired. :)
Today was FUN!! :)
I took a pretty easy bio midterm and went to music, then i went shopping and saw some really cute shoes at the bancroft clothing company. then i did telebears(at KOSHLAND BIOSCIENCES LIBRARY), signed up for bio 1a and english 45c with bishop. (taking 1a with viv and 45c with christina and maybe jeff). Then I went swimming with Jessie, YAY! and then i came home ate dumplings did laundry and headed off to psych. Then I went to study and an Ochem review session. Then I came home to see Kevin working on my computer, but he was doing hbs stuff. And then for small group we went to Crepes a GOGO, FUN! I had turkey egg spinach and ricotta cheese, SOOO good. And i split it with christina who had strawberries and nutella SOOOOOO good. :) And then we went to starbucks and I got a caffe mocha, which means I'M SOOOO WIRED! And then on the fly we decided to drive around campus and we went up to LBL and GUESS WHAT?! There's A HUGE DNA MOLECULE there!! BEAUTIFUL!! Teehee.. and then we came back. Now i'm gonna watch a movie with Christina. BYEBYE!

spending a romantic weekend getaway with biology.

ahh.... my free hour to do whatever between 9-10.
Things have been really busy lately. Things just kind of climax now that it's almost 2/3 through the semester. Things are getting harder well they've been getting harder since the beginning of the semester but anyway.
I'm in the Morrison Music Library. Gonna do something after i'm done, but a thought made me smile today:
a proposal. No one I know is engaged and I'm... well... that's light years away but the thought kind of came up in my mind when I was walking from VLSB to Morrison and it made me smile, the thought of a guy getting down on one knee really nervous but so excited about asking a girl he likes (loves) a lot to marry him. And then girl knowing something's up but so surprised that he popped the question.. she's smiling ear to ear but almost tearing be cause she likes (loves) this guy so much, too. It just made me smile because it was such a happy thought.

i'm in the KOSHLAND BIOSCIENCES LIBRARY microcomputing facility printng out/studying psych lectures. I was at heller lounge (aka ESCHLEMAN LIBRARY) earlier today studying also. My goal is to study in as many of the libraries on campus as possible. TRY TO STOP ME!!!

ok so i WAS at moffit, well the mario savio cafe doing my small group homework so i wans't REALLY in moffit. So the rule from now on is that i must be at the library for the purpose of studying. So now.. i'm at the FONG VISION SCIENCE library because i have an eye appt at the clinic in about an hour and i will be STUDYING ochem. THERE'S A PARTY UP IN HERE GUYS! (a study party ::insert really explicitly fake laugh here::)
Sorry for the lameness.. i'm getting increasily lame.

I'm in moffit right now. :)
this week has been busy. this weekend will be busy. both good busy and bad busy.
feeling kind of under the weather and my voice is shot.. but interpraise is tonight and i have worship practice today and youth worship sunday. please pray for me. thanks.

dude.. i've been going to a lot of libraries on campus lately. This week I've been at bechtel (engineering) library, the education-psychology library, the environmental design library, the chemistry library. Where am I going to go next?

SOME MORE!!! :)
soooo amazingly cute
ANOTHER ONE!!
:)

Check this out.

need to relax.
need to wake up early enough to be mentally awake in class. I'm just sitting there not asleep but i'm not stimulated because it's too early.
oh, i'm in the psychology-education library BTW. it's almost empty. They could also use a fixup in the children's library like a carpet for story time, a puppet stage or something and maybe some beanbags or couches for people like me to take a nap.

Some good things that happened this weekend:
I got to hang out with my sister and her boyfriend.
I got to talk with my sister a lot.
going to the palace of fine arts/exploratorium but not really paying anything and walking around the pond. (i'd so take wedding pictures there)
shopping with my sister and her boyfriend.
driving dj's car.
eating hot pot.
getting that 15 dollar jcrew sweater and finding out it fits.
riding on the muni through san fransisco.
eating dim sum in china town with my sister and dj.
getting a guitar. :)
laughing at dj because he snores.
getting a sweater 50% off at american eagle.
being with family
getting 200 dumplings.. mmmMMMMMmmmm
finding out my camera is actually done and being sent home right now.
being invited to sister's appreciation
reading mere christianity
recovering from mood swings... maybe
planning out their next trip up (muir woods, walking across the golden gate, ferry to alcatraz, golden gate park, anne's kitchen for breakfast)
sitting at the palace of fine arts admiring what a nice day it was.
getting free chocolate at ghiradelli square
walking around yerba buena gardens (the bathrooms next to the yerba buena theater for the arts is really clean. (it's one on the side of that anti hate fountain memorial thing))

cursed this wretched flesh.

guess what i got to do today?

done guessing?

I got to eat dinner and go shopping with my dad! :) We talked about our China trip this next summer, his new laptop, his business trip, digital cameras, bootlegged dvds, family and what he and my mom have been doing... like shopping for cars and going on business trips.

I got this cardigan from J.Crew. It's a medium but my sister thinks its too big for me. But it was $15 total. It was 72 total. pretty good for a jcrew cotton cardigan, huh?

My Ochem midterm. I didn't do as well as I'd like, but I did better than I think I led on. Went in to see Dr. Jain today and he said I'm doing fine. So big ::SIGH:: of relief. :)

so what have i done since thursday morning.... had worship practice, worship, watched a lot of music videos, slept, ate, cooked, slept more, slept even more... oh i did some psych reading. MEMORY! why children are highly suggestible when it comes to memories. Kind of behind in reading but that'll be remedied either tonight or tomorrow. So for the people who played basketball today, i'm quite sorry for not coming. i got a call from kev and jessie that basketball was at the rsf but that was in the middle of my nap and when i hung up with them i just fell back asleep. i'm quite sorry.
but i'll try to make it in 2 weeks! (because my sister and her boyfriend are coming up next week (insert YAY! here) and we've plans).

i think i bombed my midterm.. but on a happier note... it's over YAY! more studying tomorrow. :)

random: if you breathe into a nalgene bottle.. it'll make a noise. dude. my brain IS fried.

my brain is so filled with ochem stuff.
on a good note: YAY! i'm excited my sister and her boyfriend are coming up to visit on the 18th. he's gonna bring his spare guitar (YAY!) and she's gonna bring dumplings (DOUBLE YAY!) and we're gonna go SHOPPING IN SF (YAY^100) teehee. :) so excited. :) it'll be a nice party weekend as opposed to this weekend.
YAY!! i'm so excited. teehee. :)

you wanna know something that sucks? the closes theater that's playing the veggie tales movie Jonah is DAVIS. they're playing in two theaters in Torrance and no where in the bay area. my goodness.

the zephyr song by the red hot chili peppers is quite catchy.
anyway.. yay! they're finally done with my camera. it's been from yosemite to new jersey to the uK to get it fixed. i'll be getting it in a couple weeks. yay!
NOT YAY! i'm gonna get rocked on my ochem midterm.

where do you draw the line for being too stressed out and thinking you can always do much better and doing your best? i dunno if this is a self inflicted illusion but whenever i don't do as well as i expected or as i wanted to, I always think i can always do so much better if i had studied more or had more time and the next time, i push myself harder. i dunno.. interesting thought.

guess what i got to do today...
DYE HAIR! haahaa. If you would like to see my workmanship see sammy and jon. So yeah.. now it's time to get cracking. I have an Ochem midterm next thursday. There's a lot of problems to do from lecture, the book and practice exams.. so i will be a hermit for the rest of the week.
I've been reading 1 Corinthians for small group and it's soo encouraging. Paul writes to correct and exhort but he does it in a way that's SOOOO encouraging but it really convicts.
:)

::sigh:: so late. need to study for ochem quiz and finish up prelab.
i feel like something else needs to be done, also.

i just lost my contact down the drain because i was stupid and forgot to plug the sink. :(
i needed to get my eyes checked anyway though. but bummer.. right before a midterm. now i'm gonna be sleepy for a very long time.

About to go to bed (unconditioned stimulus) --> sleepy (unconditioned response)
about to go to bed (unconditioned stimulus) + wear glasses (conditioned stimulus) --> sleepy (unconditioned response)

this is where I am now:
wear glasses (conditioned stimulus) --> sleepy (conditioned response)

This is called conditioning. a form of learning. pavlov's dog with the salivating when it hears a tone should ring a bell. yup. i'm just like pavlov's dog. except pavlov's dog doesn't have a class in 7 hours.
good night all.

i can't eat oranges. :(
everytime i ate a piece the only position my mouth didn't hurt was if i pouted because i have these cold sores in my mouth. :( Christina thought i was sad because the oranges were sour or too chewy.

It's late. But I want to blog. so excited that my mom's coming up tomorrow. we're gonna be able to spend quality time together.
Oh.. i wanted to blog about worship. :P We (asa, eric sammy and i) had our first set as a worship team.
what is the purpose of worship?
dictionary.com says worship is:
The reverent love and devotion accorded a deity, an idol, or a sacred object.
The ceremonies, prayers, or other religious forms by which this love is expressed.
Ardent devotion; adoration.

That's an interesting definition. As Christians we express the ardent devotion and adoration but not to an idol or a sacred object. We are worshipping the only God of the universe. The God with such imensity that the sight of the train of his robe would kill us. We are worshipping "I AM," God of Abraham, Jacob and David. The God who hates sin but loves his creation and by His grace we are saved. Worship is giving our all to the only entity that deserves our everything. Worship isn't just songs to sing maybe twice a week. It's our lives. In everything we're giving testimony to Jesus who saved us and we're living our lives as a reaction to how we believe the eternal will be. People live for the present because there is no eternal for them. As Christians, we live with eternity in our minds, knowing that everything we do every choice we make shows what or who we're living for.
No doubt worship and praise in song is a special time. I love to sing and I love music and I thank and praise God soo much for giving us the gift of music, with such beauty. So many times during worship I struggle with keeping my focus on ardent devotion and adoration towards God only. Too many times I focus on myself and what's going on in my life and I lose sight that this worship time is time set aside where I cast everything aside and stand, sit, kneel, clap, sing in response to the God of the universe. How do I worship?

Psalm 2:11 says "Worship the LORD with reverence, and rejoice with trembling."
John 4:24 "God is spirit, and those who worshp Him must worship in spirit and truth."
Romans 12:1 "I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship."
Colossians 3:16 "Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, which all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God."

All creatures of our God and King
Lift up your voice and with us sing,
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Thou burning sun with golden beam,
Thou silver moon with softer gleam!

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Thou flowing water, pure and clear,
Make music for thy Lord to hear,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou fire so masterful and bright,
That givest man both warmth and light.

And all ye men of tender heart,
Forgiving others, take your part,
O sing ye! Alleluia!
Ye who long pain and sorrow bear,
Praise God and on Him cast your care!

Let all things their Creator bless,
And worship Him in humbleness,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Praise, praise the Father, praise the Son,
And praise the Spirit, Three in One!

I just finished dinner. What was on the menu today?
Baked chicken with oregano and basil onion and garlic
zuchinni and carrots with oregano
Rosemary roasted potatoes
rice
CHEESECAKE!
mm... FATTY. :)

premenstrual syndrome
Function: noun
: a varying constellation of symptoms manifested by some women prior to menstruation that may include emotional instability, irritability, insomnia, fatigue, anxiety, depression, headache, edema, and abdominal pain -- called also PMS
(Taken from the InteliHealth Medical Dictionary)

So yeah.. the high point of my day was...eating recognizing p53 (a growth regulating protein that affects G2 i think of the cell cycle) in a medical journal and seeing immunohistochemistry and western blots and colocalization.

The low point of my day...I think a lot of people... girls blame their moodiness on pms... or people blame girls for being moody because they have pms. but nevertheless it is a syndrom that many women deal with but not like EVERYDAY or once a week. so yeah.

My mother is coming up to visit saturday-sunday. she's retired so she can do that. it's kind of weird to say that my mom's retired... but she is. and she's been taking classes so she's like.. i'll come up and study with you... and make you food. teeheeeheeehee. i love my mom. Maybe i'll make those really good rosemary buttered potatoes that are golden brown around the edges and just melt in your mouth.

new sfc picture section up.

as suggested by lou... i've added a comment section... for you guys to somehow have fun. :P
so.. have fun! :)

ANYONE NEED TO GO TO COSTCO?!
I NEED TO GO TO COSTCO!!
so.. if you need to go to costco...
DON'T GO ALONE! I'll totally come with you.

What's on the menu today?
Rosemary roasted potatoes
Beef medallions in basil
Chinese Sprouts with bean curd.

::sigh:: I love to cook. :)

Read Isaiah 61.
I was encouraged by God's Word today.

3rd full week of school. i'm wondering if i'm in school mode. i don't feel too stressed. maybe i'll feel it before/after my first midterm when i know i should start getting serious. i think right now i'm just studying for the sake of studying and not really udnerstanding much.. except for maybe ochem. i haven't really memorized much and psych and bio and music aren't challenging yet but we'll see after tests and such. so at this point i would be studying for fun? not too sure.

Heaven, I'm in heaven
And my heart beats so that i can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're otu together dancin' cheek to cheek

Heaven, I'm in heaven
And the cares that hung around me through the week
Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak
when we're out together dancin' cheek to cheek

Some more frank sinatra goodness
there's more coming. mwaaaahaaahaa.
ok... turnin up the nerd mode. :D

"reach deep inside you and you'll find the strength"
"kick it HIGH"
"I wanna see those knees up!"
"I'm not gonna quit on you so don't you quit on me"
-motivational maxims from billy blanks, the taebo dude.

The Previous post was some frank sinatra goodness that Christina and I have been humming this week.

i was just looking in my scrapbook at some pictures because i felt like it and i realized that i have a very masculine looking face.
when i went to get my haircut a few weeks ago... the lady said "you should really get rid of that hair on your upper lip" before she even considered cutting my hair. and in some of my old pictures... my face seriously looked like a boy's face. and someone made a comment in junior high that my arms were so hairy it was like a boy's.

i dunno... i know i don't really use too many facial products or whatever... my mom has been kind of pointing me in the direction of using lotion and washing my face.. which i do but maybe it's all those pimple scars and my superthick eyebrows (which i do pluck.. otherwise i'd have a superduper thick unibrow) that makes my face more masculine. maybe it's the cheeks. i'm too lazy to use tonor or stuff like that and i have bad habits like scratching which adds even more flaws to my face

but then again, i'm too lazy to put on makeup and it is uncomfortable and i feel as though if i put on more.. it's just gonna create more clogged pores in the future.. but then makeup is used occasionally for special reaosns.

so it kind of makes me wonder and a little bit self conscious about my face.

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,
Just the way you look to-night.

From Frank Sinatra

I dreaded today but it wasn't too bad. As the semester moves on.. i think i'm going to get more and more tired simply because I have to wake up at 8:00 every morning. but things are nice because i have time every day after my first class to do a qt in a quiet corner of campus.. it'll be nice. ochem doesn't seem that bad.. i just need to be superdisciplined. hopefully the lab reports won't be TOO draining. so far i don't think i have TOO much heavy reading but i might get behind so you never know.
here's somethign i miss when i'm at home.. waking up at noon and walking down the stairs seeing my mom sitting on a chair with her feet propped up on another chair reading her Bible or a couseling book and going through a morning/afternoon routine of do you want milk/eggs/toast? i miss going to my sister's room and rummaging through her cd collection and taking matt redman and u2 maybe the traveller's inn cd and looking at the pictures she has posted around the room.

i keep forgetting to post this...
saw austin powers with my sister the day before i came up to berkeley. the cameos made the whole movie. the rest of the movie was kind of sick.

i've moved EVEN MORE up in the world. i am now #11 on the waiting list for psych 2. The textbook kind of looks like the handbook and it has pretty trees on the cover.
CHRISTINA'S COMING BACK TODAY CHRISTINA'S COMING BACK TODAY! YAY!

"Those who love the Lord are satisfied
those who trust in Him are justified..
I will serve my God
All my days"

lets fill some time:
i used herbal essences hair products for the first time since a long time and i keep forgetting how good it smells.
yeah... i'm kind of bored and i'm starting to miss my family and friends.
Here's what's on my bulletin board: penguin stuff, my schedule and a spiritual audit with the following questions
Am I actively seeking God as the center, priority and first love of my life?
Am I living each day offering myself up as a living sacrifice?
Am i becoming less religious and more spiritual?
Do people close to me recognize my authenticity of my spirituality?
Do i have a quiet center of my life?
Have I defined a unique ministry?
Have I maintained a genuine awe of God?
Is my humility genuine?
Is my spiritual feeding the right diet for me?
Is obedience in small matters built into my reflexes?
Do I have joy?
Some interesting questions to boil over....

i'm up in berkeley. unpacking and settling in.

i'm heading up to school tomorrow... where has the summer gone? the last time i checked.. i was perfusing rats and staining their tissues and eating dim sum. man... i haven't been able to think about this coming semester.. areas to grow, prayer requests.. although isaiah 46 is now officially the passage of the year. :)
i said goodbye to my cousins today... man.. they're so hyper but they're so cute. charity the littlest one.. she's so happy. i was reading her a bedtime story and like she wanted to sit in my lap.. and then a min later she wanted to sit in her mommy's lap and then she wanted to sit in my sister's lap.. she was walking all around. and everyone else was all... hyper and so hyper.
man appears more than dude in this blog... how random.

did i ever say i was going back up to berkeley next wednesday? oh i don't think i did.

i'm going back up to berkeley next wednesday. help from any individuals who are strong and can move furniture would be much appreciated. :)

blogger isn't letting people people using it for free to publish.. so meanwhile i've been..
outlet shopping - got a nice sweater from the gap outlet and a pair of pants that were over 70% off i shoudln't be but i'm so proud of myself.
sleeping
presenting - which went really well even though dr. amiya the lab PhD criticized my grammar and interpretation of the data and the fact that i stressed out about it.
preparing to to go school

PRAYER REQUEST:
our church jr highers and high schoolers went to YSC (youth summer camp) this week. i've been impacted so much by this little chunk of summer when i was in jr. high and high school...i know God will work and the Holy Spirit is present. please pray for people to welcome Jesus and form lasting relationships. thanks!

got my hair cut today. don't like it very much. try not to laugh too much when you see me.

today when i was at aaron brothers reframing the crosstitch, i saw something amusing.
there's this portfolio/art bag brand called rozart. i should get me some of those tags.
taro icys from peter's place taste like vanilla icy/ice cream.
i slept from 11-3 today.
CREAM cheese, cream CHEESE, or creamcheese or is it CREAM CHEESE?
There are INDEED progesterone receptors expressed in rat testes.
UPS sucks.
i've moved up in the world. i am now #12 instead of #13 on the psych 2 waiting list.

There. that in a nutshell is what i did today.

Monday 8-9Bio Lec 10-11Music Lec 3-4Psych Lec(pending
Tuesday 8-9.30Ochem Lec 10-11Bio Disc 12-6Chem Lab/Disc
Wednesday See Monday
Thursday 8-9:30Ochem Lec 9:30-12:30Bio Lab
Friday See Monday

8am every day...must be superdisciplined this next semester.
tuesday will be killer. thursday will be good. mwf... neutral.
but by God's provision, i got into Ochem. By his mercy i'll stay in ochem.

distressing news. i'm very upset with ups. i made this crosstitch and framed it for karen. i packed it and i thought it was fine and the guy at the counter said it was fine. but when it got there... it was broken. the glass was.. only the glass. so i file a claim and the inspector goes to see it and says that its neglegence on my part that i didn't pack it well enough. so i dispute the claim and i have to call twice because they didn't get back to me the first time and the secodn time they told me to talk to office depot (where i sent the package) but office depot told me to call ups.. so i'm given tne runaround. so today.. i get this large package just sitting at my front door and everytime i move it it makes a little noice like broken glass. so i open it and lo and behold it's the crosstitch. the glass is shattered. the matte is bent and damaged and pushed out of the frame the backing of the frame is totally ripped and some of the stitches in the crosstitch were coming out. so i call ups and they said if the glass was broken it was non transportable and it's not supposed to be shipped back to me. now why in the world is it in torrance? dude...i put my patience time and effort into this and they just throw it around like it doesn't matter. excuse my language but there's so much other crap that ups has given me these past couple of weeks that unleased the flood. i sat outside next to the damaged frame and crosstitch and cried for a pretty long time.

i can't sleep...
Isaiah 46:8-13
"Remember this, and be assured;
Recall it to mind, you transgressors.
"Remember the former things long past,
For I am God, and there is no one like me,
Declaring the end from the beginning
And from the ancient times things which have not been done,
Saying, 'My purpose will be established,
And I will accomplish all My good pleasure';
Calling a bird of prey from the east,
The man of My purpose from a far country.
Truly I have spoken; truly I will bring it to pass.
I have planned it, surely I will do it.
"Listen to me, you stubborn-minded,
Who are far from righteousness.
"I bring near My righteousness, it is not far off;
And My salvation will not delay.
And I will grant salvation in Zion,
And my glory for Israel."

Something really encouraging today. During a basic science lecture about the human genome (a subject that can easily be dominated by evolutionists) a woman named Pauline Yen spoke. She has a PhD and she's a good lecturer. Anyway she was talking about how someone's genes can code for how they look and she gave an example of this type of moth. Those who hatch in the spring eat oak flowers and they grow to look like the flowers themselves. Those that hatch in the summer eat oak leaves from the same plant and they grow to look like twigs. And she said, "You are what you eat and your genes code for what you look like. This is an example of a very complex design that can only come from a designer. That's why I believe in God." And no one disputed or argued and it was such an encouragement that someone would so boldy do that in a purely scientific forum.

so today we had our churchwide picnic and my mom brought my little cousins grace and joy. my goodness they have so much energy. they went into that bounce room three times. i went in with them once and i was tired. i'm only 19 i shouldn't be that tired.. but i am. but people were commenting on how joy looks like me. well we're cousins. she's three but she knows how to count.. she knows how to read her name and spell her name and she's really articulate. understands chinese and english. anyway on how cool grace is, too. she's so happy and she's so nice. everytime they come over she gives each of us a hug. when the phone rings.. she picks it up and says.. "hello" and then she brings over a yellow pages. haahaa. it's funny what she does. i noticed that they copy us a lot. i mean a LOT a lot. even down to how we sit on the couch.

hm...what can i say about the movie signs. It's good moviemaking. i recommend it. just don't watch it alone at night.

so stinkin congested. today i was sitting in the lab meeting sniffling and breathing really loudly with my mouth. yuk. but today i went to the beach and the lifeguard commented on how the Bible was a good book. it was an opportunity to talk about something spiritual.. we did have a conversation but it was mainly a question and answer. man.. i missed an opportunity. it sucks to miss an opportunity.. knowing that God puts forth an opportunity like that and i totally missed it. but there were reasons not to because he was an older man and he made fun of me journaling. but still it was an opportunity. but the beach was quite nice. i had a towel and everything. there were so many sailboats on the water because the wind was quite strong. and they were just in the spot where the sun broke through the clouds. very nice.. very good picture moment. speaking about pictures.. the bottom dwellers who sold me my camera sent me what they claimed was the original manual and cd program for my nikon. instead.. they sent me a xerox copy of the manual and a burned cd of the program. that's SOOOO violating copyright laws and it's the second time. word of caution: be careful when you buy stuff online especially from a yahoo store. just because they're a yahoo store doesn't mean they're very good. trust me on this one.

aim fast. if you want.. keep me accountable! thanks! read here for..... updates? yeah....

There's too much time for me to think. yeah.. i think a lot. a lot a lot.

I have a number of strongly worded sentences for the bottom dwellers who are attempting to fix my camera.
BUT
My cousins Grace, Joy and Charity came today! And they're here to stay! YAY! (rhyming is fun especially when it comes spontaneously like that). Grace is so cute. When she sees something or someone she recognizes, there's this giant smile on her face and she waves and she holds out her bag of pretzels and says "nack!" for snack. Poor Charity has a rough ride on the airplane or she's incredibly scared of me because she started crying when I went up to her. Maybe my face is too big. And Joy. My sister and Joy are so cute. She's a mischievious one, but she's so dang smart, really hyper, too. :)

symptoms: sore throat, fatigue.
OOOOO guess what i did at work today! I blew air into a small vial and my air was processed by a gas chromatographer and some other very large machine and the information is yet to be interpreted by someone so maybe I have some sickness or I've eaten a double double or something.

hm... sooo tired. i'm going to read and then fall asleep.. maybe fall asleep reading or read while i fall asleep of sleep when i read.

speed skating is fun stuff. but i got a bruise from the boot and now it's getting bigger and i dunno if it's 'cause of my sprain last year or something, it feels a little sore... the ankle.

anyway..

here's a situation: i'm terrified of death. there are times for a couple minutes i'm paralyzed by the thought of death. death is unknown and the prospect of not living, not seeing tangible things not being able to touch, not being able to feel, having a sense of time.. these things i'm so used to and the prospect of losing these things is terrifying. Today in service i had an episode where i was nervous and this nervous feeling just takes over my muscles and i felt kind of suffocated. it lasted for a couple minutes. it happened a couple weeks ago during service, also. and it happened pretty bad on the last day of ESC our english summer conference when Dr. Russell was giving his last message. When i was a child, i was terrified of death. so terrified that i would die in my sleep that i wouldn't be able to sleep and i would wake my mom up. my fears then were that i would go to hell. i was a Christian but my assurance of salvation wasn't there. now i know i'm saved and i know i'm going to heaven, but i lack so much faith. pastor jerry mentioned the observation that people make.. "this is as good as it gets." too many times i'm stuck in that mode where the present and what i'm experiencing that i don't want to let it go. death is a terrible horrible painful process. Though Jesus Christ died the worst death ever, with his hands and feet nailed with thick 6-inch spikes and his back/ribcage and muscles exposed from leather whips with bone tied to the end and some gnarled thorns pressed down on his forehead, he lives. i'm so afraid of death now because i love my life. i love the people i interact with and my family and my environment and what i'm learning and how i'm growing.. but there's this life after my finite time and the faith i need to have is to believe that God and heaven exist and this life will be so much better so much sweeter than what i have no. i'm unsure and apprehensive about it because i never experienced it. Christianity is not a religion but it's a way of life i heard somewhere. There are questions about certain issues that can be answered by logic and evidence, but they support the premise or conclusion. No matter how much evidence is brought in support of the existence of God or of Jesus' resurrection, it all boils down to the faith that you have.

up in berkeley...need to shop for mattresses.

Flying up to Berkeley tomorrow. Excited. :)
i think my conception of myself is different from how other people see me...that's pretty much the only way to describe it.
Anyone know of cheap high speed internet in or around berkeley? i'm quite interested.

The Jonah Veggie Tales movie is coming out in theaters in the fall. everyone go see it!!

oh sorry the picture didn't come out.. im supposed to be anikin. kind of sad huh? i'm future evil. mwaaahaahaaahaa.

Which Star Wars character are you?



I was kind of afraid i was gonna be jar jar or something.

Oh Lamb of God sweet Lamb of God
i love the holy Lamb of God,
Oh wash me in His precious blood
My Jesus Christ the Lamb of God

Gosford Park is a thinking movie. Quite good if you like subtleties and stuff like that. If you like action and stuff, then bless your little soul, this will be a good 2 hour nap.
I'm finding that this summer is challenging as well as very relaxing. I'm way challenged at work, to learn what i haven't yet about cell biology and techniques and the art pipeting. And i'm finding i'm totally relaxed when i get home. Case in point: i sleep when i get home, i sleep after i finish a meal, i sleep at night. But there's also cool times when you sit on the still brown very broken in very comfortable couch that your parents bought before you were born with your sister and her boyfriend or a couple friends or by yourself wrapped up in a blanket with a mug or orange juice or water watching something on tv. my attention span is shortening as we speak. blast those moving pictures and that box of empty color.

fun things i want to do:
go to golden gate park
go sailing
play scrabble on one of those cool scrabble boards that spin.
fall asleep on a hammock. :P
take a chair or a mat somewhere in the sun with my cool fisherman's hat and just read for the afternoon.

hm... lack of spiritual insight. I'm reading/finishing Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline and it's alrite. it's not life changing but there are some good practical applications it's not a quick fix to get all disciplined and stuff, but it's something to get on the right track, but if you want to be disciplined, you don't read about it. I'd rather be disciplined than to read about it. like when you're fat and say you want to work out or something like that. you don't go on the internet and read about working out and all that stuff. you go do it. sweat blood and tears, dude. Surely studying is a part of the Christian life, but a majority of study should be focused on the Bible 'cause you know.. it's the Bible. God is the hero of our lives, God is the hero of the Bible the protagonist, you see His sovereign will working throughout all of time.

yeah ok.. so there's this fisherman's hat that's on my desk next to my computer. the hat is similar to zoe's (my bear) except that it's navy blue and i'm bored so i just put it on for kicks. (this was about an hour ago so maybe 12:30 or something) (i wear this because it blocks sun not that it would block sun now because it's dark and i'm inside but anyway). My dad walks in and he asks "why are you wearing a hat?" and i say "i dunno.. 'cause it was there." and he talks to me whatever he wanted to talk about or ask and then goes to bed. and about 20 min later my sister walks in and asks "why are you wearing a hat?" and i think she's asking me why was there so much clicking so i say i'm playing minesweeper. and she asks again almost laughing "why are you wearing a hat?" so i say.. i dunno.. 'cause i was bored. and then she asks me about the camera and goes to bed. i think my family has come to accept whatever weird quirks i have.

I saw minority report today. it was nice bumping into some high school friends. i'm not sure if i like the movie or not. if you know me and you've seen the movie you'll know why.
today at work was the same way. i'm not sure if it was a good day or not. we did a western blot today and it yeilded no results. but we got to go eat dim sum. and i got some reading for progesterone receptors... i'm gonna be ready to roll for my project this summer. :)

I got a project today at work! It'll be an individual thingy that I get to work on for the rest of my time at REI. :) AND, I moved labs.. so i have a lot of room and peace and quiet. It's on the other side of the building away from the stairwell and refrigerators so not a lot of people are always passing though and it's nice. It's kind of weird though because some labs nearby, their lights are ALWAYS off and no one is in those labs. It's kind of weird. But anyway, yeah my own project. Gonna be doing immunocytochemistry (staining for the presence of proteins with different antibodies) and western blot (same basic thing as immunocytochemistry except the proteins are arranged by molecular weight).

Oh my goodness i was so bored today. ok so I went to church in the morning. came back and napped and then helped my sister clean some of the garage. found a really pretty chinese style dress but got discouraged because it was too tight. then i got bored. new pictures are up. More Yosemite Pictures
Why such boredom?
Maybe this is my relaxed state. i don't get this bored during the school year.
there's going to be a time where the seasons don't matter...and vacations will be 2 weeks long. haven't quite gotten used to that idea yet. haven't gotten used to the idea that i'm in college but eh...

Going up to visit Berkeley the weekend of July 19th.

"The person who does not seek the Kingdom first does not seek it at all. Worthy as all our concerns may be, the moment they become the focus of our effors they become idolatry." -Richard Foster on the the spiritual discipline of simplicity

The beach is fun. I have modified my schedule to go to the beach after work on tuesdays and thursdays and spend about an hour there. Someday during the summer I'm going to sit on the beach until sunset... those will be one of the days where i get off of work at like 7:00 and i sit there until sunset at 8:00.

odd... i went to workout on the machines at the gym today and i'm not sore.. maybe it's not challenging enough, but like my muscles hurt a LOT and it felt like i was straining when i was lifting... maybe not enough reps?
I just finished The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel. It's very good. I recommend it. What's next reading wise? to finish Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. It came highly recommended by our retreat speaker. So far, there are a lot of good practical application stuff and the reason why a certain discipline is "profitable" but prepare for some places where the writer is just not exercising good writing.
I should eventually start on that skirt i have the pattern and material for. it look spretty in the picture but we'll see how pretty it gets when i butcher the pattern. the joys of sewing. :)

I went to a church retreat this weekend. It was at pepperdine and i actually found the ocean. anyway, dr. walt russell was our speaker. he's a professor from talbot school of theology and the theme was empowered to overcome. he spoke on romans 6-8, i learned a lot and got to fellowship with the poeple who go to ucla and irvine and el co and it was a really cool time. to coherently put up what i learned is possible but it will be very long and drawn out... but here's a short version: I have victory and strength over sin because of the Resurrection Life that Jesus has experienced also sending the Holy Spirit to my soul that i might overcome the old habits i've gotten so used to as a twisted sinful human who has been redeemed by God's everlasting grace, mercy and love. does it make sense? if you have any questions, let me know and i'll try humbly and prayerfully to explain more, Lord willing.

hi people. i got a new cell phone number. if you ask nicely maybe i'll give it to you.

new pictures.
BEARISMS

if anyone knows how to keep goggles from fogging up and swim the butterfly stroke, let me know. Those are two things i'd like to know.

I love my dad. haahaa when i was really small i used to call him bah-bee. (sound that out and add a mandarin accent) He's in sweden now coming back tomorrow, but I love my dad. He's a good dad. And it's tough being in a house full of girls, but he still manages to get his lakers games in and play on the computer and play around with his toys. It helps when my sister or i like whatever he's doing like both of us like the lakers and basketball so we watch. i like photography so we get to play with gadgets and stuff together but my dad's on his own with his computer games with the exception of like solitaire or something. He's the decision maker of the household though my mom may sometimes seem, they have this interesting relationship that i haven't completely deciphered yet, but i dunno if i'll ever fully understand the dynamics of their relationship. They laugh at each other's jokes, they talk they like to do a lot of stuff. My dad likes to laugh so he tries to get my mom laughing. that's the hard part but when they're both laughing, it's cool. I love my dad, but i don't miss him as much when he goes on business trips because he goes on business trips a lot and he calls back or ims me a lot so that's cool. haahaa my dad called me a nerd one time because i got an optical mouse. i don't know how that constitutes me being a nerd but it was funny how my dad used the word "nerd." but i remember about 8 years ago or so... my parents took my sister and a bunch of other people on a short term mission to ensenada, mexico. I was too young to go i think i was going into the 6th grade.. yeah. It was for high schoolers and college students so i didn't get to go. And they left the saturday before father's day. That father's day, I was in the children's choir and i think i had a solo, but my dad wasn't there. i wanted him so much to be there and like when they were in mexico, they didn't call a lot because they didn't have access to a phone, but they did call once. I was staying at jonathan wu's house. His parents were taking care of me because i had a cold that week. But yeah I missed my dad a lot because he was supposed to hear me sing... but he was serving God and carrying out the great commission so i sorta understood. but when he got back i remember being at church and seeing one van pull into the parking lot. it wasn't my dad because he wasn't driving. but i remember someone ruffling my hair and saying, don't worry rosalyn he'll be back soon. so i waited and lo and behold the church fan the old gray/burgundy one pulled into the parking lot and it was my dad~! I almost ran into the car i was so excited. my mom and sister were there, too... but when my dad got out of the car i just ran and held on to him and cried and cried. I didn't wanna let go.. haahaa i was being such a child although i was a child... and he hugged me real tight and i felt so safe with him there. Yeah.. that's my dad. I love him a lot. I wonder what my reaction would be if I saw my Heavenly Father. Would my reaction be so joyful and at the point of tears? but yeah.. happy fathers day. :)

Confession is somethign i don't do enough of. Not the kind of shrift that you would to a catholic priest but this outpouring of whatever sins we're convicted of and the realization of these sins contrasted with the assurance that we're saved and we're no longer bound to sin, but it's the old life...I'm not going to confess my sins here. But it's so sad that there are times when i'm so desensitized that i'm not aware of whatever sin is in my life, but eventually i notice that something isn't right. that shouldn't be. Jesus says in matthew "therefore you are to be perfect just as your heavenly father is perfect." It is impossible but by the Holy Spirit. I guess a major prayer request is that I would be convicted of whatever sins are in my life though it shouldn't have power over my life... i dunno if that makes sense.

work is really fun. I'm really tired but i'm learning a LOT. like today for example I was in the lab from 9am-7pm. It's too much to type out so give me a call and i'll tell you about it.

Oh my goodness i'm tired. And we didn't really do anything in the lab today either. We implanted some testosterone and progresterone into our rats and had a meeting and that's about it. i dunno...i'm really tired though
yeah short blog...but i wanna sleep.

122 is NOT a number i am intimidated by.
Anyway, today was a fun day. It wasn't high stress at work because today was a meeting day. Basically there were speakers and presentations of people's projects of their research goals or what not. It's fun and I got to watch Dr. Lue the MD I'm working under take pictures of slides. Pretty basic and yet so complicated. Oh.. next week I'm going to a workshop to get acquainted with how to treat and handle mice properly. Work is cool i'm liking it.
And i'm liking korean bbq. It was nice, Kelie Jane and I got to eat dinner. We haven't hung out since January. I'm still getting used to the work schedule, though it's getting better.

oh i forgot. watch spy game.
MAJOR SUSPENSE.

Get this:
I wake up at 7:00 in the morning this morning. I NEVER wake up that early on saturday mornings. What for? Shoe Frenzy. This charity shoe event where designers like Kenneth Cole and Jimmy Choo donate their shoes to a women's clinic that sells these shoes from about 5-50 dollars. We got there at around 7:45. There were women lined up around the stinkin block. This block was about the size of memorial glade or la romeria park.. whichever is more familiar to you. Yeah.. and the women at the front, they were SOO getting feisty. They were all yelling at each other... it was kind of funny/sad. 3000 pairs of shoes and like a lot of women.. it's like that Friends episode, the one where monica is buying her wedding dress. Vicious. Dude, some of the women at the front of theline got there at 3:00. Only in Los Angeles will women camp out for some cheap pairs of designer shoes that aren't even that cute. Why in the world did I go? It's the experience that counts. Not everyone stands in line full of anxious women wanting a pair of shoes everyday. but anyway, i went back to bed after we got back and i woke up at 2:00

I came online to blog, but forgot for a while and ended up playing minesweeper for about 5 min. How sad. That is a stupid game.
Anyway...
Today, while wandering around Torrance I decided to drive by the old Bread of Life Church facilities. Expecting the familiar Sanctuary and the increasingly steep driveway and the white sliding, child-proof gate, I met with a large gaping hole in the skyline instead. I can't believe a church that I got baptized in, the church that I grew up in is now torn down to make way for some duplexes that have no grass or yards. I inched by what was my second home on 22525 Kent street and thought about all the memories that had been torn down with the church building. I remember practicing guitar lazy sunday afternoons and friday nights before fellowship from 8th grade all the way to august of last year. Out of tune and out of sync, I didn't care, but I loved to worship and loved to play. I remember that dome made of steel rods arranged in triangles. After sunday school every sunday we'd all play in the sandbox right behind the old fellowship hall, until we outgrew the jungle gym that gave us splinters. I remember eating lunch in the stairwell in the back of the Glory hall making sketches of pretty asian girls or talking about who's cute at church. Haahaa I remember getting mad at Enoch because he violated my "space" under the bridge connecting the old building and the glory hall. I don't exactly know why though... i remember him offering me a piece of gum or something. I remember standing on that bridge with friends...staring out to the mormon temple next door and "pondering the meaning of life." or people watching as everyone filed out of the sanctuary into the courtyard. I remember going into the choir room and putting on those little white gowns with the light blue satin collars for children's choir. Haahaa, I had the loudest (not necessarily the most in tune) voice...and between singing in the Cantonese and Mandarin services we'd all trek down 226th. St. to 7/11 to get snacks. I remember bringing my sleeping back and pillow and bags and piling it on everyone else's either in the courtyard or outside of the glory hall the sunday before YSC and forming a line packing the bus and waving at everyone as we pulled out of the parking lot. This is a place where the Spirit's presence was felt, where Jesus was the reigning King and where God was glorified. I know the building has no significance but when 2 or more are gathered in His name, he will be there, also. In these buildings, it started out with just a couple, then it grew to 1 congregation and then to 2, then 3 where now it's about 700 strong and growing. It's amazing what those walls held. Use and Abuse, yes, but more importantly it Housed God's children. Those who love to worship Him and those who just love Him with all their soul, mind and strength. I'm going to miss this home and it will be different coming home from now on, but not dwelling in the past... God has a LOT in store for this church in the next 35 years of its existence. :)

i saw two really good movies today: Amadeus and An Affair to Remember. Amadeus was good solely because of the music. Mozart's music is beautiful and he's my favorite composer. Some of his work is simple yet conveys volumes of emotion and images. Some of his work is just beautiful, the expressiveness of it all. Those two past sentences are pretty much saying the same thing. Yeah i'm going to get the sountrack. I didn't think i'd like an affair to remember because it's romance and i think romance is cheesy. But this movie didn't get me into that mood. But it did speak to my almost non existent romantic side. Like dancing, I want to learn how to dance like people danced back then, not the dancing now, ugh. Dude, carey grant was charming. i think all girls think that.. and WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, i'm a girl. Just the fact that they can carry on a conversation without saying a thing amazes me. My parents can do that, too. It's like my dad knows my mom so well that he knows what's going through his mind and when she's going to call. It's the same with my mom, too. When my dad's on a business trip, she always knows when to expect his calls. Maybe 'cause he's been working there for years and has been going on business trips for years. But yeah... the cutest thing about the movie is how they had a song and they danced unlike how couples dance now.
Haahaa, i looked at my baby album today. It's so funny, when i was a baby, every picture i had my mouth wide open. Like in a little O. Either that or i was trying to bite my toe. I totally remember that, too. I have this memory of sitting on our brown couch in our old house in harbor city. the living room had the couch against the wall which was connected to the small breakfast nook/dining room and i could see the dinner table and chair. it was after my bath that I was sitting on the couch facing the sliding door to the backyard. dinner table was at about 2 o'clock and the coffee table was directly to my left and the armchair was at about 10 oclock to me. but i remember sitting there and then grabbing my foot and bringing it to my mouth and starting to chew on it. maybe i was teething back then or somethin... but yeah, there's your embarassing "oh i didn't know that about roz" story of the day.

a spider died in my favorite candle. :(
Picture link at the bottom of the page in case it goes away or something.

Praise the LORD oh, my soul. He has blessed me with going to such a good school and suriviving my freshman year with flying colors. :)

Yosemite.
My first reaction when I woke up when we were driving to the valley was, "Oh my goodness." It was that beautiful. The jaw just kind of dropped. This was the perfect time to go because the Memorial day rush is over and there's still a lot of water coming out of those waterfalls. I first saw Half Dome, and then El Capitan then Yosemite falls, one of the tallest waterfalls in the world, comparable to Angel Falls, THE tallest waterfalls in the world in South America. (Don't ask me how I know this. I know lots of meaningless trivia that takes me nowhere in the world.) It's so pretty. Then we saw Bridal Veil falls. The reason why it's called that is because it's supposed to look like a Bride's veil, hence the name. Yeah, going to Yosemite totally humbled me. Because you're standing in a valley and there are essentially walls of granite thousands of feet high and you feel so little. it's quite amazing. I love it. And about soothing water, there were rivers and meadows with little rivulets, quite relaxing. I've had BAD experiences with boats, but I find bodies of water VERY VERY soothing. On our second full day we drove up to the High Country to Tioga Pass, Tuolome Meadows and some other places. Unfortunately the wild flowers don't bloom until about July so we didn't see too many flowers, but the grass was green and growing. Last time we were at Tuolome Meadows, my sister had a bunch of leeches on her skin. No leeches this time! In fact, it was really cool, there was still snow on the ground, and it wasn't gross dirty snow. There was acutally a guy who busted out his skis. When the sun was low in the sky, we went to Bridal veil falls again and saw the most amazing rainbow. It was totally clear at the base of the waterfall and quite beautiful. We also went to a bridge and took a picture of half dome at sunset. The picture is linked to this page. We stayed in a tent cabin, it's a canvas tent cabin, i don't rightly know how to explain it but it was fun, except for the mosquitoes. I don't know why but i think mosquitoes like my blood. I think it's somehting about my body temperature being higher than the average human. must be why i'm like my miniature schnauzer. her body temperature's pretty high, 'cause she's kind of high strung and jittery and she gets a lot of bites too. Anyway, that's a lot of personal information. On the second full day we hiked up to the top of Vernal falls. It's called the misty trail for a reason. It should be called the rain trial because it seriously felt like it was raining. Not mist rain, like drops of water rain. It was really fun though, but not good for a sick person, though it was fun. My mom made me bundle up 'cause i'm getting over a cold. When we got to the top, man, the Emerald pool is supposed to be this calm pool people can swim in and there's supposed to be solid rock where the river flows in like a slide, but my goodness, it was raging torrents... my dad got a clip of that it's on a cd somewhere. There was so much water. All the waterfalls looked full, not those dinky kiddie waterfalls that look like dripping showers, these were awesome waterfalls. They were jump off and die type of waterfalls. Sorry for the morbid description but that's what they were like. On the last day, my favorite day was when we went to Sentinel Dome. You hike about a mile up to an altitude of about 8,000 feet. it's this dome, it actually looks like a dome with random shaped rocks and a dead tree. But what's so amazing about it is the view. A 360 degree view of all of Yosemite. You can see EVERYTHING from there. I took one of those multiple shot panorama pictures. I'm going to get it printed on photo paper and frame it. The view is just awesome. It was so cool. I stood on a rock put my hands up in the air and just screamed. Absolute exhilaration, let me tell you. I did it for my roomate, Rocio who always wanted to do that but never got a chance. My dad actually took a picture of it. When you're up there, you meet with the God of Wonders. In everything you see His creation unpolluted and you realize what it meant when He proclaimed it Good. You feel the wind, your heart is pounding, there's this fear of God in you knowing that this can be your death or your life. When men don't worship the Almighty, the Rocks cry out and proclaim His glory and it's totally true.
Soli Deo Gloria. :)

I have some Yosemite Pictures Up.
HERE

ah! it's june 1st right now. WEEIRD.

there's a LOT of stuff going on in my mind right now, some of it too random to write down, some too personal. So i'll just start with the car. Our family got a new car and I got to drive about 100 miles on the way down from yosemite. My goodness, my mother is a backseat driver and my dad was clamping on to the arm handle thingy. i don't drive THAT crazy. There was a lot of cruse control setting and resuming 'cause we were trying to dodge trucks, busses, crazy drivers, sports cars. There was a heck of a lot of traffic on the 99 on a thursday night.. kind of weird.
being at home. It feels so good. I love home, i love my family and i love my friends. But for a while during fellowship, i felt like i've never been in such a foreign place, it was really hard to focus and to worship. This is my home, it shouldn't be so.
There are certain things i want to accomplish this summer. I'm going to start with the superficial stuff:
I want to cook more.
make a skirt
swim 3 times a week. hopefully my parents will let me join the ymca where they have a good size pool to actually swim in.
learn something from the lab
go to the beach in the morning before work to do my quiet time (this one's a tough one)
fellowship and serve at home
to continue to live daily loving, needing, wanting God's presence more
This time is precious and what God has blessed me in the past, i haven't been as good a steward as i wanted to be. this summer/next year, I want to focus on things of more eternal value.
that's it for tonight. i will eventually get the pictures up and talk about yosemite more.

Just got back from Yosemite. Awesome, spectacular, marvelous, beautiful. Man, God is a cool Creator. Have pictures. It's so good to be home.
(no spewage today. i'm a bit tired.)

Theraflu sucks. It tastes bad and it's just powdered tylenol. Don't take theraflu unless you have a fever. My reasoning: I was feeling fine and I wanted to take some theraflu for my congestion. At 5:00 in the morning, something happened and so today I'm not feeling very well. This morning I wake up feeling very very weak. I want to see Episode II today so I'm resting up. Stupid theraflu.

i'm so confused.

Which of the Disney Princesses are you?

Haahaa, this is amusing.

I'm going to the restroom like every half an hour. It's the water, drinking a lot of water. That's good right?

Yesterday we (Christina, Hannah, Renee and I) went to San Fransisco. Man that was fun. We bumped into a lot of people. Christine Jung in the BART, Melanie and Melissa while shopping, Susanna Fong and Christina's Aunt in the BART on the way back. It was really fun. I drank a lot of water. I got a build-a-bear. It's name is Zoe and I gave it a heart. Don't ask me if it's a boy bear of a girl bear because I don't know. It's a girl's name but it's dressed like a buy although a hawaiian shirt and boardshorts and a bucket hat is exactly what I'd wear, and Zoe could be a boy's name, a very feminine boy's name. But when we got back I had a temperature, 99.5 which isn't too bad, but I started chugging water like crazy and it eventually went down to 99.2 and now i'm at 98.6, perfection. Haahaa, just gotta take it easy today. It's fun. I'm packing today.

according to my chem gsi, everyone bombed the chem final. so.. a curve will be set. had my last final today. i can't feel anything regarding the test because my throat hurts. and i wanted to get out as quickly as possible.

The final today was hard.
Just math left tomorrow and my freshman year is over.
Where has the time gone?

my favorite secular song
"When you feel all alone, and the world has turned its back on you.
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart.
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold.
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call, if you jump i'll break your fall
lift you up and fly away with you into the night
if you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
if you need to crash then crash and burn
you're not alone."
-Crash and burn (Savage Garden)

My Chem final is in 17 hours. I love God and God loves me no matter what kind of grades I get. That is such a comforting thought. It is a blessing to just be here at Berkeley among the cream of the crop learning.

my final is in 12 hours. kind of stressing even though i shouldn't be. God is my peace. Jesus is my peace, my strength when i am weak, the treasure that I seek, Jesus is my all in all.

Rosalyn,
That is wonderful. We look for ward to having you work with us as a student volunteer this summer. I will ask one of our administrative people contact you about paper work. See you on or before June 10th
Ronald S. Swerdloff, M.D.
Harbor-UCLA Medical Center
Professor of Medicine
Chief Division of Endocrinology
1000 W. Carson St. Box 446.
Torrance, CA 90502
Phone: (310) 222-1867
Fax: (310) 533-0627
E-mail: swerdloff@gcrc.rei.edu

excitement is exploding out of me. PRAISE GOD!!! :)

I'm listening to the Something Like Silas CDs and they're really good. Really encouraging and it's what my heart feels, you know? In the last 2 days i've been at the library for 11 hours. Well, that's better than being at the library for 11 hours in one day. Man, I'm so ansy for finals to go away. I still have a chance to get good grades in math and chem so I kind of want to try, but I know that if i kind of slack, I don't have to worry TOO much... it's all a matter of how much I want to get those 2 A's. But I don't want to slack.
I've been thinking a lot about this being the end of the year. I'm wondering how much I've changed. How much of it is good change, how much of it is God changing me. One superficial change is I've gained weight. A friend told me that sometimes the change is so small you don't notice. Wouldn't a change be more apparent if I compared myself to who I was at the beginning of the year?
Going swimming after one wakes up is fun. That's what I did today and I went to the library refreshed.

Love ofGod whose life enduring
shepherd of His flock astray,
Provider of a heart so yearning
May you be all hope and stay
You are the air i breathe
you are the food i eat
you are the water i drink
you God are all that i need
Faithful keeper of his children
never turning from our prayers
even when doubts and fears about us
still, your sweet life in us bears
Alleluia
Praise to You almighty Father,
Praise and honor God Most High
May my life be made an offering
Only lived to glorify.
-Air I breathe Something like Silas

Have a lot to say but have a 2 page chem paper due tomorrow. maybe i'll write more when it's done.
or maybe i could be so bold as to have a nice good deep conversation with someone. It's nice to have those.

I'm a freshman. The year is 2002. I won't be applying to Pharmacy School until my senior year which is 2004. I still have a stinkin 2.5 years until I have to worry and yet i'm finding myself looking at the UCSD, UCSF and USC pharmacy school websites regularly. Am i just obsessive? For a while during first semester I considered Medical School, but that kind of fell through like after a week. Who do I want to go to pharmacy school? I heard a guy talk about pharmacy and I thought it was cool. And like I want to make people well, but not be a doctor. Man being a doctor must be tough. First there's the cat-fight pre-med undergrad odyssey, and then the MCATs and just getting into Med School. Then I hear about all this stressful stuff about not being able to relax for the rest of your life pretty much. And those residencies...man, no sleep for a very long time. I admire anyone who is in Med School. But working at the pharmacy as a clerk last semester, I came across a lot of Med students, residents and doctors. To be honest some of them were conceited and thought I was nothing. They just thought I was some peon who takes in perscriptions. They're Doctors. They should care and at least be polite, not just ACT polite to their patients and be all like that to other people. My sister said med school breeds conceit. So it makes me wonder how come there are so many pre-meds that I encounter? Is it really true that these people want to become doctors. Is it really true that these people want to prevent, treat and raise awareness of health issues in the world? That's what I want to do. That's what I feel that God wants me to do. You see last summer at the pharmacy, too many of the doctors prescribed too much medication to their patients without giving much thought to their treatment history. 1 medication for asthma, one for their blood pressure, maybe a couple for the heart, on and add in antibiotics for their bronchitus. That's 5 prescriptions in 1 sitting. That's too much. For those of you who are doctors or going to med school or aspiring to go to med school, promise me two things. When you are in med school or a doctor, don't be conceited. Humility should be an outstanding trait of Christians which also applies to Christian doctors if you are one. Also pay attention to the patient's medical history. You don't want to start a public health nightmare and create strains of sicknesses that are immune certain medicines. I'd rather be out of a job because there are enough medicines out there already than be stressed out in trying to find a new medication for pneumonia.
A praise is that i'm really convicted to go to Pharmacy School. I'm not sure what comes after Pharmacy School but God I know is going to use my degree is some way to serve Him.
Just pray that I wouldn't get too obsessed over it. There aren't any tests that I have to study for like the MCATs, but there are certaint prerequisites. So just pray for perspective and I guess the endurance... i'm so procrastinating right now for finals studying...But anyway, yeah there, that's my spewage for today.

keep forgetting: I have pictures from praise dinner, but they're not like pictures, they're like on the computer so if you'd like to see them just let me know. :)
Yeah so Christina and I are talking about what to do with our apt, dude, i'm so excited. It's gonna be real in like less than a month! DUUUUUUDE.
Today it was really cool. In music we had this concert thing where everyone brought in their own stuff and played it. Some people did written stuff. Kim, Gloria and I did Beauty and the Beast. That was fun. There was this jazz band, that was swingin. There was this guy who wrote his own song, but it was about death, kind of morbid. THere were these 2 people who wrote their song like 15 min before they performed it, and they played it really well. It was sooooo cool. The really cool thing was that there were these three people who sang Because He Lives fast instead of the slow hymn style. They had the harmonies, the rhythm, the riffs and the piano all down. It was really cool and really encouraging. :)

Praise the LORD, there are options open for the summer.
1. I can either take summer school and get a pre-pharmacy prerequisite done
2. Or volunteer in a lab doing cell cultures and possible helping to write a paper.
This needs prayer. I need to tell my mom by Friday.
It's true I am stressed...
I'm at VLSB (Valley Life Sciences Building) in the Koshland Biosciences Library studying. I will be there in the afternoons and possibly all day until finals. If anyone would like to join me, by all means... but only come if you're going to study. (2nd floor of the study room all the way at the end.)

I can feel the stress coming up. Finals are coming soon and I've sort of started studying. I've made myself a study schedule...but I'm so tired of studying. Irratibility is apparent and I'm tense. GR. Psalm 36:10 "Cease striving and know that I am God."
During these times, it's a struggle for me to trust that God is in control of all things because I've been conditioned that if I study a lot, I will do well. How much of it is God's sovereign plan? How much of it is God's work? Where do I draw the line from what I do and what God does? How do I approach something like this? How much do I have to study before it becomes an obsession and addiction? Is it before I start stressing (too late)? Is it until I fell I understand everything? Is it not at all?
stress level from a scale of 1-10: 6

I took a spiritual gifts inventory today. This is what it said i scored the highest on:
Serving
Music
Healing
Mercy
Helps
There's the top five.
go to www.cforc.com for it. 110 questions

sorry, i got freud's quote wrong. this was, according to freud, a generalization that can lead to something dangerous. i'm not sure, but yeah sorry, took it out of context.

i don't want what happened this semester to happen next semester. you see, i need both bio and chem... taking bio in the morning on thurs, so that means i need to take chem lab on tues afternoon... 'cause the lab for bio ends at 12:30 and lab for chem starts at 12, so can't take chem lab on thursday, but the thing is, the lab is filled on tues. OR, i could just skip every friday of psych class, but that's just really bad. so we won't do that. OR bio class can get out .5 hours early and i don't eat lunch and fry my brain on thursdays, but that's kind of bad, too. SOOOO... i'm going to just pray and Trust God about Chem and the tuesday lab because it's all in his hands. I can't do anything. Sound like a plan?

Praise Dinner is tomorrow. Excitement flows out of me. You don't see it, but it's there. :)

Interesting quote from Sigmund Freud's Civilization and It's Discontents
"It is impossile to escape the impression that people commonly use false standards of measurement--that they seek power, success and wealth for themselves and admire them in others, and that they underestimate what is of true value in life."

I was thinking a lot today about sleep. How much I sleep. i need a lot of sleep and when roz doesn't get a lot of sleep, roz doesn't function well. She acts stupider than she already is. and i realized how much i need sleep compared to how much I need God. God should be my rest and my source of strength not the fact that i need 8 hours of sleep every night. Granted, it would be nice...Of course thsi doens't give me a reason to pull all nighters, but it also doesn't give me a reason to skip my quiet time to sleep. Thinking a lot about what i give weight to in my life compared to how much i give weight to the Master of my life. I'm taking Him for granted and it shouldn't be the case.
"And he humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of God." Deuteronomy 8:3

Today during skit practice... i'm wondering how much people notice about me. I have this personal space thing. Like I dunno, i get kind of, squirmy when someone is closer than.. well when someone is touching me with more than a finger. I'm a bit claustrophobic and really really ticklish, and like i dunno, it's the personal bubble space thing.

yeah so i don't know if i can work at the city of hope thing anymore. it's a long story, i'm not sure i want to explain it. But God i know is teaching me...
"Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of th ekingdom of God, who shall not recieve many times as much at this time and in the age to come, eternal life." -Jesus (Mark 18:29-30)

weirdness: at 9:00 this morning.. two men knock on our door and yell maintenance!! i wake up, open the door and they walk in and take pictures and talk about repainting the closets/drawers and wathever. they say thank you and they walk out. weird.

ok one more thing. :) shoot i forgot what i was gonna say... ::sigh:: if it's important it'll come up later.

just one more thing before i get off the computer.
i just got 2 something like silas cds. they're a christian band. they're very good.
My mom isn't not keen on me working at the city of hope. she was just concerned about the distance from home. :)

ok... i dunno if i am a nerd a lot. here are potential habits that might classify me as a nerd. my windows xp icon are chess pieces. i have named my computer nigel, i like ready for pleasure, i like to study when there's nothing else to do and no one to talk to.

here's stuff that wouldn't make me a nerd. when i'm at my computer, i'd rather play minesweeper than study (pathetic), i, personally like to see the sun once in a while. people are nice to see, too sometimes. but man, i gotta turn up the nerd mode next week until finals. ack.

nerd also nurd Pronunciation Key (nûrd)
n. Slang
A foolish, inept, or unattractive person.
A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.

[Perhaps after Nerd, a character in If I Ran the Zoo, by Theodor Seuss Geisel.]
nerdy adj.
Word History: The word nerd, undefined but illustrated, first appeared in 1950 in Dr. Seuss's If I Ran the Zoo: “And then, just to show them, I'll sail to Ka-Troo And Bring Back an It-Kutch a Preep and a Proo A Nerkle a Nerd and a Seersucker, too!” (The nerd is a small humanoid creature looking comically angry, like a thin, cross Chester A. Arthur.) Nerd next appears, with a gloss, in the February 10, 1957, issue of the Glasgow, Scotland, Sunday Mail in a regular column entitled “ABC for SQUARES”: “Nerda square, any explanation needed?” Many of the terms defined in this “ABC” are unmistakable Americanisms, such as hep, ick, and jazzy, as is the gloss “square,” the current meaning of nerd. The third appearance of nerd in print is back in the United States in 1970 in Current Slang: “Nurd [sic], someone with objectionable habits or traits.... An uninteresting person, a ‘dud.’” Authorities disagree on whether the two nerdsDr. Seuss's small creature and the teenage slang term in the Glasgow Sunday Mailare the same word. Some experts claim there is no semantic connection and the identity of the words is fortuitous. Others maintain that Dr. Seuss is the true originator of nerd and that the word nerd (“comically unpleasant creature”) was picked up by the five- and six-year-olds of 1950 and passed on to their older siblings, who by 1957, as teenagers, had restricted and specified the meaning to the most comically obnoxious creature of their own class, a “square.”
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

Look! Dr. Seuss made up the word nerd! he's cool. :)

Apparently my mom thought I would get paid, so when I told her about this volunteer thing, she wasn't too keen on me working there. She wanted me to get paid. We'll see. I'll talk to other investigators, but I'm not sure how it's gonna work out. We'll see. :P

Look at the time. My midterm is in 45 minutes. I'm at Moffit supposedly studying, but I feel as though I've studied enough for this midterm. God is good. I mean he's always Good, but yeah. I got a lower score than i expected on my math midterm. Sure, i was a little disappointed because i studied so much, but i was weirdly relaxed because the pressure is off me to get an A now, but then i find out that it was graded wrong and i got a higher score after the regrade. Oh Lord, please let me not worry or whatever. I've studied enough for this chem midterm and I'm leaving it in the Lord's hands. I think I've learned a lot and understand the concepts pretty well, so we'll see. No matter what, i know that i've studied and not slacked. I mean if i get a bad score, it's not that it's not my fault, but i knwo that there's something to be learned and something to be thankful about you know?
So yeah about the summer thing, God IS good because Dr. Fong Fong Chu (it's cool that we have the same last name) offered to give me a volunteer position in her lab. I think i'm going to be working with inflammatory bowel symdrom with mice and somehow relating that to an antioxidant enzyme that either helps or hinders cancer. CANCER RESEARCH. I remember aspiring to do that when i was younger. Excitement is flowing out of me. :) I expected to be paid 'cause the application and the program website said i would, but i don't think it's an issue anymore because i'm a freshman without any previous lab experience and this is a really good opportunity for me to learn you know? So anyone have any objections to me accepting this position? and it's CANCER RESEARCH. Doesn't that just sound so cool?
Classes I'm taking next semester:
Chem 112A Ochem
Biology 1A
Music 25A Music Theory
Psych 2 General Psychology.
Fun stuff, eh?

Midterm thursday. After thursday until may 1, PLAYTIME.
anyone wanna play with me?

praise the LORD oh my soul...
:)

Minesweeper is one of those games that have no point or purpose at all but just to be there for people to play. Come to think of it, it's a very very very morbid premise for a game. Look for mines but don't get killed. Real people do that and they get killed. I saw this photo exhibit where there were mine fields and people were there in wheel chairs.