Bring on the ice...

this is for everyone who's curious about the bling. yup. it's oval cut.
And that's a glass of Charles Krug pinot noir. Some pretty freaking good wine, dude.

Perspective

For a few years, now... I run up this hill every once in a while. It's about 7 flights up stairs up to this park called Grand View. From the bottom, it's nothing special, really except for maybe the graffiti that litters the walls. A lot of times after getting up the third flight of stairs after running up to the stairs from my house I think "why am i doing this? it's so hard." And yet I press on towards the goal... almost heavenward. But when you get to the top...the climb is worth it. The pacific ocean to the left, golden gate park and golden gate bridge straight forward, downtown and the bay to the right.

I come up here for perspective. To get away from the mess, the emotion, from everything that seems to be going wrong. When I'm up here i feel small in a big world. It puts me in my place and everything is right. I'm constantly reminded of the power and majesty that my Creator has and that there's nothing to worry about.

Now, I have more of a reason to love that place. I can share it with someone. From that moment on, I pledged my life to a man whom I trust, someone to stand beside and who will make that run to the bottom of the hill and climb those 7 flights with me. Everytime I think about it, I'm overwhelmed with love. There's someone who loves me and who's willing to share in these things like this little park on top of a hill.

On Saturday, with #9 clues in hand, a handful of roses and full of expectancy, I once again climbed those 7 flights of stairs to find Gabriel up there waiting to share this moment with me. My eyes kept scanning the top of the hill looking for him. When our eyes found each other, I know this was it. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this one person. I can't imagine sharing this place with anyone else. Especially with him, especially here, everything is right.

I love you. :)

five more days

it's been six weeks since my last post.

haven't posted simply because i had no time and didn't have anything interesting to post, or my posts would have gotten me kicked out of pharmacy school.

five more days and i'll have my own thoughts again.

dude

FIVE MORE DAYS OF ORTHOSURG LEFT!

5 days, and it's party time.

Imperfection

This rotation has taught me to accept imperfection.

My friend told me that this rotation will force me to not be a perfectionist. And to be honest, it absolutely has. As painful as it is and as much as I hate it, i'm learning.

Mistakes are bound to happen. And when they do, the right thing to do is NOT condemnation. I can't beat myself up everytime I make a mistake. I've been doing that and it doesn't work. But yesterday while running... (i feel like I get so much clarity when I run and it's just me and my ipod), I was reminded God's grace covers me. I will make mistakes and I'm messed up. But things are finished and I'm given grace.

Perhaps if I make a fatal mistake in the hospital, I won't be given much grace, or if I'm a licensed pharmacist, but that's ok. Learning to deal with it.

this is for all those RGP contact wearers out there

Recently I bought a bottle of Boston Simplus solution. It's marketed as a one bottle, one-stop shop for all of my contact cleaning and disinfecting needs. It cleans, disinfects, cushions and even removes proteins from my precious contacts. What goes through my head is... three bottles whittled down to only one bottle needed? psshaawww... i'm in.

Little did I know that my eyes and my poor little contacts don't like boston simplus. They're better than the target or walgreens brand generic solution, but i have high maintenance eyes that require Boston Advanced Solution, cleaner and enzymatic protein remover. that's three bottles at $10 each compared to one bottle at $15. what princesses.

so LISTEN TO YOUR EYES! if you find yourself using a new type of solution and you feel more discomfort, go back to what works. It's so distracting to have uncomfortable eyes and having to blink and fix the contacts all the time. People think I'm not doing too well.

BAH!!!!

I want to:

scrapbook

go to sleep after sunset and wake up after sunrise

be able to show my cousin all the "secrets" of san francisco

bum around

Homemade

Today I went to: the first annual Renegade Craft Faire in san francisco.

There were a bunch of booths selling anything from recycled journals from old books, to homemade posters and jewelery to my favorite: letterpress cards. I ended up buying three sets of cards and a nice smelling candle for my room. These homemade fairs are pretty addicting and it infuses me with creativity that I wish I had to make my own jewelery, soap, silk-screened t-shirts and even coats. Everything there was really cute and very modern. With the advent of YouTube and blogger, this "DIY" universe has taken a whole new meaning when individuals unleash their creative side and start a full on mercantile business that's all their own. That's pretty cool.

Numbers

My new orthosurgery rotation:

time to report to the hospital every morning: 5am

hours worked on monday: 14

total hours this week: 50 in 4 days.

July 4th weekend:

all you want to eat potluck at brian and jeff's

watching foggy fireworks with christina and buddy

fillmore jazz festival - meeting up with pat, brian, jeff, ken, angela

walking around sipping bittersweet chocolate mocha, looking at photos, art, shopping and listening to some awesome jazz on a beautiful sunny day in san francisco.

the weekend after my first week of orthosurg is turning out to be pretty awesome and it's only saturday. :)

Stop and Stare

I recently got a shipment of CDs from BMG music and what's currently playing? OneRepublic.

yup.

Anyway, I just finished another 6-week block on the liver transplant service. Why am I blogging at 7am on a Sunday morning, you ask? I'm training to wake up at 4:30 to get to the hospital by 5am for the infamous Orthosurgery rotation which starts tomorrow.

I've had a lot of thoughts these past 6 weeks about work, life and the future and I suppose this is one of those soul searching entries that should probably be in my private journal, but whatever. Public self revelation is the best, eh?

I'm learning how to speak up, how to slow down, how to function on a global schedule that I don't really make on my own. In big groups, I'm usually reserved and I watch. It takes a long time for me to decompress and my mind starts racing when I'm stressed and when I had classes, I liked to stroll in 20 minutes late and sleep whenever I wanted, now on time is the norm and i'm hitting my bed by 9pm.

In the midst of all of that learning, I've failed to put God as the priority for the past 6 weeks. I was functioning with the impression of being constantly evaluated by my preceptor, my resident and friends. My behavior, my thinking, my words are evaluated and that was at the forefront. I've run dry and this past week, I've slowly gotten a few drops at a time of the well that God provides to keep me alive.

God has been gracious to Roz. Through all my sin, all the lies floating around in my head, Jesus stopped for me. Well not JUST me, but you know what I'm talking about.

Some people don't stop for others. When someone's hurting on the road, they pass through to do the next thing they need to do. But Jesus stopped for me. I forget that, even though I shouldn't.

Roz, you've freely recieved, now freely give.

anti-stalker

Someone on the UCSF network has googled my whole name and looked at this humble blog of mine. is it weird that i check who stalks me?

Also, someone in New York City with Windows vista.

and someone from Denali Software, but we all know who this is.

if you come to my website, i know your network, what kind of internet you have, your IP address, the type of program you're using, your resolution and from which website you came from.

who's the stalker now?! haHA...

i do this because i totally stalk people, too.

On Training Wheels

For the past 5.5 weeks, I've graduated from pouring over books and literature, studying for stressful tests to being able to somewhat contribute productively to society instead of leeching resources and knowledge from the brains of my teachers. Instead, I'm now doing (and still learning at the same time) and not getting paid for it. (..alas, the paycheck will come with the responsibility) Right now, I feel like I'm back when I was seven and learning how to ride a bike with training wheels. I don't have the risk of hurting myself or other people with my medication counseling, filling, checking, typing, recommendations. I always have a final check, a safety net that my preceptors have set up for me at work. hella easy, that's norcal speak for all of you socalers. I'm still getting used to the training wheels, gaining confidence with just the pedaling. I'm learning how to deal with demanding doctors, demanding patients, demanding colleagues.
The tricky question is what happens when the training wheels are taken off? I no longer have the check after me. After graduation, in about a year, I'll be the final check and I could have interns working under me. ooooo let's not pull on that string just yet.

I've learned that even if you have the perfect answer but respond timidly, people won't take it. In this culture (America or whatever western developed world you live in), confidence is i'd say 75% of it. You may not have the best answer, but if you say it confidently, darnit, people will listen to you. Coming from Ms. Timid, this has been a huge challenge. Sure I can be all confident on my own blog. shoot, but telling people what to take for their sickness? i... well,... you could try... yeah... try that. I'll mumble something and hope that it'll be right.

NO ROZ

Put your head up. Make eye contact. Smile. Say it with confidence. No one's gonna listen to someone who mumbles or stutters.

yes that's right. I'm talking to myself. maybe i'm talking to my constituency... whatever.

I'll end with something I say a million times a day: Thanks for calling Safeway Pharmacy, I hope you have a nice day!

Mid-20s

It's been more than a few weeks since my birthday, but I wanted to blog about turning 25.

There's this friends episode where Rachel is lamenting her situation as she turns 30 and Tag makes this comment: "I totally know how you feel, Rachel. I'm so freaked out about turning 25."

Rachel retorts with, "ok, get out."

I just thought that was pretty relevant because I just turned 25 and was thinking a lot about aging and birthdays.

Last year, I promised myself that this would be the best year ever and it actually turned out true. My 24th was the best year of my life I can say with a lot of confidence. Why? I think it was because it followed a couple miserable years and the contrast made this year so much sweeter. My relationship with my parents, my friends and above all, with God has changed. My default mood has been joyful and it just kind of feeds on itself.

I can now rent a car.

But the prospect of ever deteriorating fertility is this cloud looming over my head. Of course I dream of getting married and having kids, but I have to realize that it's all in God's timing. To be honest, I think about the perfect engagement, the perfect wedding cake and the perfect invitation for the least amount of money. I suppose girls think about that stuff, but I've learned that all of that is overshadowed by living in the present and enjoying the company and relationship I have now.

I can't worry about tomorrow for today has enough worries for itself. Today's worries include how and when I'm going to exercise, how I'm going to cook my Alfredo and egg noodles for lunch and what time I need to take the CalTrain. I gotta say, those aren't even worries at all. And i'm so thankful for the fact that God has been so good to me this past year.

Restaurant Reviews

Bistro Aix

We came here for my birthday (thanks guys!). I found this while browsing on yelp and I wanted to try a new restaurant with good food somewhere outside of the sunset district. The people in our party ordered braised pork pasta, ahi tuna, lamb chop steaks, and thin crust pizza. It was pretty good, but I was a little disappointed because I wanted to try the fixed price menu that they have for parties under 8 people. We all tried each others dishes and ooohed and aaahhhed at what everyone ordered. We ordered a bottle of wine from France. It went really well with my braised pork dish. One goal before I die is to know the basics of wine. To be able to tell the difference between a good wine and a bad wine and to know basic pairings of food/dessert with a specific wine. Right now, all I know is similar things flock together. White wine with white meat, red wine with red meat and sweet wines with dessert/chocolates.

Fresca

This place is HOPPIN'. This is a watering hole for young attractive young professionals to congregate, break bread and perhaps score a little. :P The restaurant specializes in Peruvian food from ceviches to paella. We had the paella and the pulled chicken stew with potatoes and egg. In one word each, paella: awesome, stew: mediocre. The paella had clams, mussels, scallops, fish, chicken, corn, peas, rice. It was SOOOOOO full of flavor. Yeah, pretty darn good dude. I want to learn how to make paella, but I probably won't be able to make it as well as this place, or Peru/Spain or any spanish speaking country. I'd go again to try the ceviches. The ambiance is pretty nice, although it's pretty crowded and you can't hold a conversation without raising your voice...so not a place where you want to talk. There were a lot of well-dressed people there. I was wearing jeans and a track jacket and felt a little underdressed, but oh well. It was a satisfying dinner nevertheless.

Briefs and Shorts

1) Turning 25 was surreal. more later...

2) I just spent 2 hours working on 2 pages of my scrapbook.

3) I've started a 40-hour lifestyle. And the kicker is, I'm paying tuition to work at Safeway

4) My orchid is blooming again and it makes me happy. :)

5) Home was awesome. Steve's, Guppy House, Sand Castle, Prince Caspian

6) No Country for Old Men is a FREAKY movie. Javier Bordem freaking earned his Oscar. shoot.

Show and Tell

For the Easter Weekend, we went on a marvelous trip to Yosemite! (my favorite place in the world). We got to...
Cross country ski. It's exactly like being on a nordic track. It gives you a ridiculous workout, but going downhill is so fun. Not so fun when falling, but gliding...so fun.
Hike to the top of Yosemite Falls. This is what we did on Easter Sunday. Had a little worship/bible study in the valley and set out hiking in the afternoon. It was a lot of climbing, but the view and the snow was fun to be around.
take a relaxing walk to Mirror Lake. It really looks like a mirror. It was so still and early enough that the mosquitoes weren't out yet. It was really beautiful.
Here's my art shot of the trip. I wish I could have improved the picture composition a little bit. I'll work on that the next time. But yeah this is one of my favorite pictures from the trip.
And of course, you can't forget the view of the valley. This is take from the south entrance tunnel. All in all... it was such a good way to celebrate Easter. :)

My Almost Perfect Day

So after a long-hard quarter, I have 2 weeks off. What does a girl do in San Francisco on vacation? See the sights! Today was such a perfect day to be outside, I decided to take advantage of it.

I rode around Golden Gate Park a little bit. Wandered around the DeYoung, Music Concourse and new Academy of Sciences building.

That's my bike in the foreground, but I think I broke her. :(

This is one of my favorite pictures. something about sun, flowers and straight lines makes for a really interesting picture.
This is a small memorial to the Holocause near the Legion of Honor. There are a lot of these scattered around the country (i.e. Boston, New York, LA, SF) and are reminders of a very powerful message that I can't shake out of my head.
This is a plaque commemorating the first Japanese consulate in San Francisco after World War II.
Picnicking with Good Luck Dim Sum and the Conservatory of Flowers.

Why was it an almost perfect day? I actually rode to the legion of honor because there was an annie leibovitz exhibit as well as the dead sea scrolls on display and it was CLOSED! Also, I wanted to get jook instead of shu mai from good luck dim sum, but that's ok. It was still good. All in all... almost perfect day.

Change of <3

It's been 19 years since I started school and I just finished my last class. Granted today wasn't really for learning, but still. It's kind of monumental that it was our last class ever. Needless to say that I've been complaining, griping, whining about not wanting to go to class or study that I didn't think about the fact that today is our last class ever.

This is what I read this morning:
Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16: 7)

Popular verse, eh?
I didn't think of it when I first read it, but upon thinking about how the Lord looks into my heart, I was immediately convicted that it was most definitely *NOT* in the right place. I was just looking forward to the end so much that the thought had escaped me that I'm finishing. I had failed to consider that I've worked so hard in school for almost 2 decades that finishing well is paramount.

It's something that I prayed for forgiveness on the way to class. That these last three days of finals would be just that. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, a goal in sight. It's not just about the celebration that's to come, patting myself on the back at the end but the means of getting there. I ask for prayer from those who believe. That the Lord would look at my heart from now until Friday 4pm and be pleased with it.

Monumental

Today was a monumental day.

I actually uninstalled AIM from my computer. Let's just take a moment and let that sink in.

AIM and my screen name, OutOfDaBleu, has been a huge part of my life for the past decade. Wow. that's a long time. From late nights chatting with my high school crush to scheduling meetings to venting about how much we have to memorize in pharmacy school.

I actually discovered that this new version of AIM six was eating up so much of my computer that the costs outweigh the benefits of having the program actually being installed on my computer.

So, AIM, I bid thee farewell. It's been a good run and now I'm leaving you for Google Talk.

Deal catcher + Sundries

I get a rush when I find a good deal. Many can attest to this, but my family and I are pretty anal about finding good deals and I am no exception. so...

FREE CONE DAY at ben and jerry's april 29.

And if i had space for it I would get this. Only 6.99!!

At any rate, I must post about a recent restaurant adventure:
1300 Fillmore

I gotta say, I thought it would be in the western addition in an unsafe neighborhood. Lo and behold, it's located in the Fillmore (on fillmore) right next to the new Yoshi's, Boom Boom room and a really good Korean BBQ restaurant.
The decor/ambiance was really nice. There is a bar/lounge area where a live jazz band plays and the dining room full of cushy seats and even a private room for large parties. They had a special flight menu for Black history month with wines featured from wineries owned by African Americans which I thought was pretty cool. Now on to the food. Soul food meets french. We had corn bread instead of foccacia or something else and a tangy jam with a little bit of a kick. Hot from the oven, too. So good. Entrees were lamb chops with sausage, mushroom and tomato confit (that is the BEST COMBINATION EVAR) and braised beef with spinach and mashed potatoes. Tasty. i can actually still remember the taste in my mouth and now i'm totally salivating. For dessert, we go the chocolate trio. Orange-chocolate ice cream, molten chocolate tart and cruncy chocolate/peanut butter bar. SO GOOD.

The live jazz just added to the experience.

I would return, but as my wandering heart would have it. I'd want to try other restaurants in San Francisco before returning.

Jade
$2 cocktails on Sundays. 'nuff said.

This past weekend we went to Tahoe for a ski retreat with fellowship people and I have to blog about this because it's such a big accomplishment. But I actually was able to somewhat keep up with people more advanced than I and board sort of efficiently on blacks! Granted it was at Northstar where blacks are like blues, but whatever. It was one of the best boarding days I've ever had. Experiencing improvement gives me a rush, too.

It's not personal...

Before I started pharmacy school, I had this idealistic view of the profession as completely altruistic. It would lean towards social justice: serving the underserved, advancing medicine to a world that needs it.

Slowly now, I've come to realize that pharmacy is a business. I was struck by that very strongly on my first day and today, as I work on a business proposal for my management and administration class, I believe it even more.

I never thought of myself as ever selling myself on the job market or negotiating or networking but that's what I've been doing for the past three years. The science and the therapeutics is the arsenal of knowledge I'm equipped with. Along with that we're taught these other things like business and management so that we can better market ourselves to others who may or may not know what the heck we're all about.

And what's so deeply personal to me as been soldered together with the impersonal in order for the world can understand.

Yearning for Connection

It's been three years out of college and I never thought I'd lose contact with college friends. But much to my dismay, I've discovered that the proximity factor holds true. I was told that you need to make an effort to stay in contact with the friends that you've made or else you or they will fall by the wayside of friendship.

Something that I never realized I was doing was complaining about how people have forgotten me and how I've fallen by the wayside, but that is not the case. School has been busy. What used to be a thriving community in physical form has been reduced down to an ISP address on my blog's anti-stalking device.

Three years removed from college and you see a lot of changes, but someone close to me said that true friends aren't ones you just go to birthday parties. True friends are there with you through the busy-ness, the mundane and the time. But one thing I can take stock in is the present. Not to worry about the past or how old college friends have moved on to bigger and better things, but I also have moved on to bigger and better things. The good old days (or semi-recent, whatever you want to call college) are over, but the present can be sooooo much better if I choose to look at it that way.

The Warfield

I've been thinking about whether or not I want to comment on the artists or the venue or both.

Last night a bunch of us went to see Sara B and James Blunt at the Warfield. I haven't been to a concert like this since my Savage Garden craze of 2000-2001 and it was fun times. I gotta say, Winnie got me into Sara B and she's just as good (or even better) live than on her album. That's how good she is. Stage presence was there, she got everyone excited (which was what an opening act should do) and she closed with my favorite song, Gravity. I like it 'cause it sounds good and every artist has a signature song that sends chills up everyone's spine when they sing it and Gravity does that for her.

Oh, and James Blunt was pretty good. 'nuff said.

Clear as Day

I <3 my new contacts.

Why? I can see soooo much more clearly. It's not that my eyes got worse, but it's 'cause I've put my old contacts through so much abuse that they're warped and scratched. Examples:
1) Most recently popped out on a club dance floor. I almost didn't look for them, but when I did, they were on the floor. of a club. on the dance floor where there's spillage and who knows where some of these feet have been.
2) Accidentally dropped them when I was backpacking. on rock and dirt.
3) Multiple times on my bathroom floor.

Yeah. Oh well. New ones = awesome. :)

Bushi-Tei
Dine About Town San Francisco was going on since last week and I went with some friends to Bushi-Tei in Japantown. I gotta say, my first impression was: Oh my goodness the service is impeccable. Why? Japanese service is unrivaled in the world. We had a large party and the owner stood by the door, hailed taxis for the restaurant patrons, took pictures for us and even separated our umbellas so we could get them out easily. The wait staff was softspoken, yet knowledgable and very patient with us. We had scallops, halibut and white chocolate mousse. The scallops were very good, the individual parts of the halibut dish were very good, but I would question them together and the white chocolate mousse was amazing. I would have liked a more intimate table. Our party sat on two sides of a table and four feet separated us, but it's ok, we still had good conversation and a good time.

This is me getting integrated into the 408 area or Cupertino (more affectionately called "CPT") much to the disapproval of Winnie and Debbie. :)

Highlights

Las Vegas was definitely SO FUN.

Of course it's so intense I'd limit trips to Vegas once every year or two, or three....

but so fun.

Here's why:
stuck a dollar into the slot machine... AND WON 5 BUCKS!
Seeing O, the show I've wanted to see in Vegas since the Bellagio opened.
Bellagio Buffet
Tryst and gettin' low
Two words: water show :)
Taking fun pictures
Seeing celebrities (Andy Garcia and some R&B dude who performed at Tryst for someone's birthday)
Staying at a 5-star hotel
Swimming in a 5-star pool (and getting to use my new tankini that i got for 50% off :D)

and

Midday Break

I just took an hour to wander around randomly on the internet (namely facebook, travel websites and deal websites) for no particular reason. I'm starting to wonder maybe I should use my leisure time for something more productive than wandering.

Which brings me to productivity...
sometimes it's hit or miss with me. I can be studying with people. some days are ULTRA productive, some days are NOT productive at all. I can be studying by myself. Some days are ULTRA productive, some days are NOT productive at all.

But the idea of something coming is motivation to be more productive than baseline.

So along that thought, I'm totally looking forward to Vegas.

2 Restaurants, 2 Coasts

Petit Robert Bistro


I went here with my sister when I was in Boston. Friends on the East Coast, if you live in Boston or travel to Boston regularly, this is a restaurant you should try. Voted Best Affordable French of Boston and I totally agree. My sister and I both had the Onion Soup and we shared a chicken crepe. The onion soup was SOOO GOOOOOD. For those of you who know, I have these cyclical dairy cravings and oh my goodness, that cheese totally hit the spot. Also, the chicken crepe was so full of flavor, but it wasn't all fat. It was peppers and herbs that made it taste amazing. We also saw other peoples desserts and there was this one chocolate dessert that was basically a chocolate model of the Eiffel Tower. Pretty awesome.

Yum. :)

Home
Christina and I went to this restaurant because their special that day was Chicken Pot Pie. Yeah. If you know RozStina well enough, you'll know that we <3 chicken pot pie. And this was no exception. No fillers, lots of chicken. There's also a prix fixe menue from 5-6pm every day where they serve a 3-course special with a glass of wine for $12. Unfortunately we missed that, but we did catch happy hour (5-7pm every day) and caught their half-off cocktails. Of course, yours truly was being clumsy and stupid and I knocked down my glass and FREAKING BROKE IT! ::sigh:: But the service was so nice. Nice enough to clean up the mess I had made and provided me with a new "homegirl" (yes, the cocktail is called a "homegirl") even though I had a few sips of the original. But all in all, home was sort of like home, but not really. It was a mish-mash or the living-room fire, nice comfortable couch pillows mixed with upbeat bar music and metal tables and chairs. Interesting mix, but turns out to be a fun dinner.

Thunderclap, YEAH!!

i realize that I have a lot of irrational, perfectionist, ocd tendencies:
1) I'm always afraid that I smell. So I guess I have to constantly surround myself with good smelling things/people.
2) I can't mix food. Or else the pure taste of each dish will be contaminated with the taste of another.
3) when i'm making an outline or a chart to study off of, i'm so ocd about formatting. everything has to be centered where it's centered, the right size, the right thickness of the chart lines.
4) settlers board. ('nuff said)
5) my room is symmetrical. if there's asymmetry, it really bothers me.

ok i think 5 is enough. just imagine if i were a germaphobe. it's game over, dude.

While I was in Boston, I asked God to reveal to me areas that weren't pleasing to him and this past week, He showed me. In a big way.

I'm the type of person who'd make new year's resolutions, which is why I asked God for that. What I got back wasn't an idea for a new year's resolution, but a deep seeded struggle that'll take a lifetime (almost) to work out.

CONTENTMENT

I feel like I've dealt with this issue ad nauseum but, apparently God isn't finished with me yet. I've been reminded multiple times this week that God does give and takes away. None of this is without permission and blessing and none should be taken for granted. I was reading... the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. I shall not want. In David's 23rd Psalm, he addresses contentment straight on. But how he describes this not wanting is not what he DOESN'T have, but what he DOES have. Being led beside still waters, green pastures and having a restored soul. That was something that I soaked up like blistex to chapped lips on a cold day. The soothing salve of the Bible, once again has smoothed out my ruffled frustration and a familiar passage has taught me something new.

Those are the best. :)