if you get this.. blogger is cool, but it hasn't been cool for the past month so i changed to xanga.
Here's the Xanga

back from boston on sunday. in the swing of things...
so my ochem professor just for kicks wants us to look nerdy in public by saying we should talk about pericyclic reactions and 6pi rotations or whatever in public and actually do hand motions. i look nerdy enough already...this is gonna put me over the edge.

hey sylvia,
i'm free this weekend. (i hope you read this by then.. sorry i forgot to take down your info before i came home). but anyway... drop me an e-mail. :) yay! so excited! :)


oh another note: thanks guys for yesterday. :)

odd... one ear feels plugged.
anyway.. got my telebears (aka scheduling) appointment. time to plan out my life again. :)

guess who won short animated film...
the CHUBBCHUBBS! haahaahaa.
chubbchubb...

Hey Guys,
Pray for those in Iraq, especially for the civilians who only wish to live in peace. Please pray that through this, they will be able to find the Peace of God.
Pray for President Bush and everyone involved, for God to shower wisdom upon them.

this is a contract... that I, Rosalyn Chu no matter what grade I get on this lab exam will be satisfied with it. I'm done studying, I don't want to study anymore and I will be responsible for the consequences, good or bad.
ok there we go.

a broken heart.
i think i've been thinking a lot about how God can break me and it's come to a climax while brushing my teeth. (odd i know, but my mind isn't satisfied with JUST thinking about teeth brushing).
i've realized how inconsistent i am. how inconsistent people are. there's the humdrum of life that's somewhat constant, but not all the time. it's a routine but apathetic... there's no real purpose to my studying or chasing my dreams of pharmacy only to get a steady secure job, to raise a family, get a good retirement, good life insurance so when i die my kids will still be ok.
i think God has really broken me in the sense that i am sooooooo not consistent and i sooo contradict myself that most of the time i'm a flaming hypocrite walking around. for contact evangelism (random evangelism as some people describe it) i go around talking to people, trying to intiate conversation about Jesus and yeah you should put your faith and trust in Jesus, but am I really doing the same thing? i think there are a lot of things that I can work on. In a way it's really encouraging because i have a goal to reach towards and a struggle to overcome, but how much of it is me? how much can I do because i've been so inconsistent thus far? i hate the feeling of being idle and yet i feel burnt out at the same time. i feel as though i'm not doing anything, but lately i've been feeling so tired. i've been really really missing home and wanting to talk and pray with my mom 'cause she understands a lot because well... half of my genes are from her. great.. i'm starting to tear.
anyway, a lot of me wants to retreat into my own little bubble, nurse whatever psychological imagined wounds that i have and feel sorry for myself and maybe this is the product of that, but i know it's my job to be a servant, it's my job to Glorify God's name. I just don't want it to turn into like i'm just doing it because i should, but yeah. anyway i should stop.

HEY SYLVIA!!!!!!
oh my goodness we haven't really talked since like high school. hey i'm going to boston from march 26 and leaving on sunday 30 in the morning. do you want to meet up? it'd be fun to come and visit. e-mail me at rosalyn@uclink.berkeley.edu
ok i just gave my e-mail to the whole world.. but that's ok. yeah drop me an e-mail ok? :)

BEBO!!!!!!!!!
i'm in an exceedingly good mood today. that's a cool feeling.

all done. well not all done. but looking forward to spring break! going to Boston to visit Karen, Evan, Enoch, Dominic and anyone else who wants to meet up.
I went into the darkroom today. It was fun.

so i got my bio and ochem midterm back...
they were pretty satisfying even though i made some really stupid mistakes, though.
when these stupid mistakes happen i feel as though i could have worked harder and i pinpoint all the times that i was not on top of things while studying, which sucks because that just means i don't know when to STOP studying and just say I've worked my hardest because i'm always in the mindset of... how can I work harder. so am i gonna keep doing that until i die? hopefully not. it's a lot of matter of trust that i know in my head, but it's not engrained in my actions yet. dunno if that makes sense.

[x] bio midterm (results back)
[x] ochem midterm (results back)
[x] english midterm (results back)
[x] english paper
[x] music midterm
[x] music composition

i wish i had something additional to say that's more encouraging and happier but.. God is sufficient. :)

peroxisomes detoxify by producing hydrogen peroxide which gets converted to water. WHAT A REVELATION!

duuuude. i really really really want to get into the darkroom again. printing is really fun. but, alas...nerdy roz is taking over and i have to study. maybe i can go into the studio this weekend and at least get the index prints for the processed rolls of film.
talked to my family yesterday night. it was cool...everyone pretty much just passed the phone around. i think i do that a lot. call and then ask to have the person on the other line pass the phone on to someone else. i talked to my dad, then my mom, then my dad, then my sister, then my dad, then my mom and then we hung up. fun stuff. i miss being at home, vegging, making hot pot stuff, washing clothes in our lovely washer and dryer, playing the piano, using the sewing machine, eating peanut butter out of the fridge or sorbet out of the freezer.
not to be selfish or anything, but i think i hoard sorbet. my mom and christina can attest to this. one time at home, i got a quart of cookies and cream ice cream and a pint of dreyers strawberry sorbet and i hid it in a bag so my dad couldn't eat it... because we both have a habit of just eating spoonfuls of ice cream at a time.
anyway... that's what i miss about home.

I really like darkroom photography. My first print ever is an 8x10 picture of a tree. It's one of them big trees from the Santa Cruz Mountains. There's a lot of things wrong with the picture like how the top of the tree is out of focus and how there's too much light at the base of the tree and there's this dark line at the left edge, but I'm still very satisfied because this was a picture I saw all the way through from taking it (sorta), processing the negatives and printing the film. Photography is expensive but with you have worth it prints, it makes up for the time and money. they're from the heart and there's that cliche that everyone uses "a picture is worth a thousand words"

Pharmacy School Rankings.
UCSF is my dream.
USC is in the work-up, too.
UCSD is sadly not accredited yet.. but that's OK!

the CHUBBCHUBBS!!! here. nominated for best short animated film. CHUBBCHUBB!!! haahaahaa

hm... i wanted to blog about something...
OH... here's a website that might be of interest. Berkeley Blitz

there was something else...
it was something funny, too. stink. that's ok. if it's important, i'll remember it.

it's been about 1.15 semesters since i've had 8 oclocks every day. yeah i think i complain about it a lot, but now i'm starting to appreciate the level of productivity my life has come to since waking up at 8:00. Getting a full night's sleep is essential and it's been good. i have time to do things like take pictures and study and eat (which is probably the only thing i've been doing this semester).
SFC retreat:
It was a really good spending time in a place concentrated with SFCers. We all have our own little lives and sometimes they cross on AIM or on Fridays and Sundays, but I think this retreat united us in a way that can't be done any other way. People were open and honest in our small group, in conversation, at campfire, during worship practice. When you're in such a concentrated area with the same people you can't help but notice everyone's habits, everyone's demeanor (sp?) and challenge their thoughts and way of life. I thought a lot about how this semester is comparing to last semester, how am I going to use my time since there's not that much of it, what kind of friendships am I going to make, maintain... maybe even break sad as that sounds.
I was really encouraged by Pastor Harrison's statement about surviving vs. really getting out there and thriving. Before I came to college, my youth pastor, Byron said that same exact thing. Are you going to just survive or are you going to thrive and make a difference for Christ. I've grown a lot since college started, changed some but am I really making a difference?

excerpt from my Ochem GSI's e-mail about the lab today: "Hope everyone enjoyed todays lab, only one of us ended up bleeding-way
below the average."
yup that was me. wonderful isn't it?

Stories likethisgets me worried.

Plug for Evangelism Accountability Training:
It's really good. It started getting me involved in evangelism and really wanting to get out there and plant seed/share the gospel. If you already know how to share the gospel, good for you, it's a really good thing to know, especially a Christian. If you know the Gospel and you're not a Christian, what's stopping you from making that commitment to handing over the reins of your life to Jesus? If you're a Christian, and you're not too clear about how to share the Gospel, why aren't you making an active effort to know how? I'm being straightforward and blunt for a reason. You have the great commission in Matt 28 and you probably have it memorized so you know that Jesus commanded us to go and make disciples of all nations if you're a Christian. But the thing is...sharing the Gospel is not preaching at someone and cramming Bible verses down their throat. You're reflecting the love of Christ, the unconditional love of Christ and showing that you care about their future, you care about their spirit/soul and you care about whether or not they're going to heaven or hell. If you're a Christian, I'd really really encourage you to get involved in an Evangelism Accountability Training group like the one we have at SFC. It's a comprehensive study of a way to share the gospel and it outlines the Gospel in a way that you can understand and store in your mind as a resource and be ready to refer to it when God presents you with an opportunity to share the Just/Loving/Wrathful/Merciful/Almighty God to someone.
Any questions? Comments? Want to Be A Part of SFC's Evangelism Accountability Training (EAT)? Leave a comment with your name and e-mail or if you know me, talk to me directly and I'll give you the down low.

Expressions Submissions Up on the website.
Expressions Submissions

I went in to office hours just now to look at my ochem final. I did NOT do well. but the weird thing is... my grade is not an accurate reflection of what I deserved. I totally didn't deserve what I got...but hey, those are what gifts are, right? Instances of undeserved events.

back in berkeley.

check this out.

sleeping 12 hours in one night is AWESOME! I wish I could do that every night, but alas, there are things to be done, studying to be.... studied.
But there are major implications to sleeping so much. When you have NO DESIRE to wake up and join the outside world and become a functioning member of society, then it could mean depression.
i don't have depression though.
(one could read that in 2 ways denial or i'm actually telling the truth.)
going to the getty tomorrow with sfc-ers who are staying at my house for the night. everyone come! the getty is nice.
i was gonna say something else but forgot.

so today i JUST learned what impacted means.. and yes my teeth were impacted. which is why i'm really swollen. got some comments about it at church, all in good fun. but man it was hard to laugh. and i only got 3 teeth out 'cause one was a freak and decided not to form.

"The principle runs thorugh all life from top to bottom. Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in." -C.S. Lewis Mere Christianity
finished. :)
and finished pastor rick's relationship series.
watched a whole lot of movies..... minority report, amelie, catch me if you can, the importance of being earnest, beautiful mind, never been kissed, she's all that... lots and lots of friends.
getting the wisdom teeth out in about 9 hours. SUPER YAY!

just got back from bol college retreat. ask me how it was. :)