Merry Christmas?

This is me 16 years ago if I was right handed and wearing metal rim glasses. This is Joy, my middle little cousin. It didn't feel like Christmas this year. Christmas Eve didn't include chestnuts roasting on an open fire, we didn't have a blanket of fresh snow on Christmas morning and there weren't throngs of children in their pajamas rushing down the stairs to see what Santa left them under the tree. Instead, Christmas this year wasn't about presents, or the tree, lights or celebrations. This Christmas was uneventful. The advantage is that I don't have to worry about gaining that holiday weight because I ate like I would any other day. Christmas eve was a normal Saturday, like any other Saturday where my parents were helping out at church with a potluck and i'm at home studying. Christmas day was like any other Sunday where I went to Church [habitually late] chatted with friends I grew up with and went home to take a nap. This Christmas was different because it was the first time our immediate family wasn't together in the same place. I remember when my sister and I were in high school, we'd buy a fresh tree from the West High Entertainment Unit tree lot, decorate it with dusty ornamets that we made or bought at 50% off, balding garland and lights that half didn't work (even though they did last year). In college, my parents resolved not to buy a tree and the celebration was sitting around together in front of the TV because the semester had zapped all my energy. The thing is, those were the best. We didn't do much but we were together. I don't talk much so just the simple act of sitting together was excitement enough for me. But then again, Christmas came a day late this year.

Grace got her marvelous stationery set with a commemorative box

Charity got a stylin' turtleneck sweater

and Joy got a scarf and gloves with stars on it.

For what it's worth, this Christmas was different. We spent a lot of time on the road. I don't think I had time to process the fact that it was Christmas. But it came and went. I'm looking forward to next year. I got big plans of cheesecake and lights.

This is Yosemite. The snow was so deep, we had to make a cave for ourselves.

haahaa, just kidding. This is a nice view of the valley. Note that there is no snow on the valley floor. You have to go up to the rim to play. But looking at this picture, doesn't it make you think of "You Do All Things Well" by Chris Tomlin?

so we went shooting at sunrise one morning. And it was the day after a storm. And for the first 30 minutes all we could get were mountains shrowded in mist. But for 2 minutes or maybe 5 (i forgot, jay do you remember?), the sun came out of a pocket of clouds and the valley started glowing like this.

Confucious welcomes you, your snowshoes or nordic skies to take the path of uncertainty... the path of certain death!!! (or a leisurely walk down the road.)

Just Across the Border

I got a chance to go to Mexico the weekend before Christmas to...spread the joy. Initially, I was Ms. Grumpy, just kind of going with the flow, wandering aimlessly with no aim, purpose or role, but in the end, I'm glad I went.

I got to play pharmacist with this woman who's also to my pleasant surprise is a UCSF graduate!

She has a smile that can light up a room.

Shanties for the migrant workers.

Shoe distribution in San Telmo.

Los Banos.

This is Mel. (yes that's her name... i think). I got to play on the swings and talk to her a bit.

Just a little taste.

Guess what I ate?

If you can guess what this is...i'll do something nice for you.  

GOING TO YOSEMITE THIS WEEK!!!!! Beautifulness. BTW, all submissions are due by 11:59PM on Saturday, December 24.

Promises IV

2 things: I finished Mountain Rain and have started on my scrapbook for the summer.

These 2 things bring back so many good memories of the summer. Of the amazing things I saw God doing and some of the trying times. I have all my pictures/scrabook/journal/bible/letters sprawled out in our family room, it looks like a tornado blew through it. But when I first started going through the pictures and organizing them, this flood of emotions washed over me and it was amazing. I also got a chance to talk to a couple people from the Summer. It's only been 4 months since the trip, but this quarter made it seem like it was so long ago.

Looking back on my journal entries, I read so much pain and uncertainty and just discomfort. It's amazing how God turned what started out to be a pretty bad summer into probably the most lifechanging summer of my life.

Funny how things turn out, eh? :)

This is a summary of my trip. In early August I listed things that I wanted to keep:
Continually praying
Always open for opportunities to minister to others
Uninhibited, smiling-from-ear-to-ear joy
Cherished quiet times every day
knowing God's heart for the nations

I feel so blessed now to have found someone to pray with every day. Intercessory prayer, praise, thanksgiving, everything. And yeah it was a cool habit that I praise God didn't leave. To just be automatic in coming to God first. Whether it be a quick whisper before a test or singing out alone to God or even in tears crying out to my heavenly Father.

Being in school, I quickly get caught up in what needs to be done, the bottom line, the deadline that my eyes aren't searching for open opportunities to share Christ's love. This also goes hand in hand with the Cherished quiet times. I find that my morning walk to class as well as home after class, i'm struck by this awesome view of the pacific ocean. Those have been sweet times of prayer and meditation, though sometimes my mind is occupied with something else that I don't praise God for giving me air to breathe and this beautiful view. It's definitely something that I still cherish and something that I want to make a priority. We'll see how this new year will fare.

If there is a thing of beauty that I'd want to be known for (like J.Lo is known for her very healthy posterior) I'd want to be known for my smile. I've heard that people have smiles that can brighten up whole rooms. A smile can turn someone's day from drab and dreary to bright and sunny. haahaa, I took this test a while a back assessing my ability to spot a fake or real smile. I ended up scoring 17/20. So you better watch out, I know smiles and I can tell when that's a courtesy laugh you're giving. But yeah, I dunno. A smile or a laugh can show true openness and geniuneness (if that's even a word). That's something I'd like to show other people. :) Smiling makes me happy.

I've resolved to learning more about international health. It'd be SOOOOOO awesome to do a product overseas. That would be so awesome. But right now, it would be just as cool to find out how God is working and how I can help here in the U.S. whether by prayer or otherwise. If anyone is in the Healthcare field (if you're a student or professional) what do you think of taking a short trip this coming summer somewhere and helping out somewhere? My team leader from the summer asked me to pray and consider leading a team to somewhere in asia (perhaps Big Red) where we can help out with health education, basic hygeine and basic physical exams. If you're interested let me know. Trips like these are AWESOME.

Where are you going?

 
 

Everything is Vanity

So this month, I've resolved to a number of goals. Some are deep and meaningful and some, well, not so meaningful.
1) Read and finish Mountain Rain
2) Study for my kinetics waiver exam.
3) Read and finish The Cost of Discipleship
4) Scrapbook
5) Beautify myself. (i.e. get rid of this excema and acne problem).

I walked into Sephora a couple years back and asked her what is the daily facial care regimen. Here was her answer (and the stuff I use): 1) cleanse [neutrogena rapid clear, oil control foaming cleanser]. 2) Moisturize [ponds dry skin cream, though I usually use clinique dramatically different moisturizing lotion]. 3) Protect [Kiehl's Ultra Protection Waterbased Sunscreen Lotion SPF 25].

That neutrogena rapid clear, oil control faming cleanser is totally awesome. It smells SOOOOOOO good and my face feels cleaner. For the acne problem, I got benzoyl peroxide 2.5%. I learned in class that this stuff really works. If you do decide to use benzoyl peroxide for acne, start low, go slow. This means start with the lowest concentration as not to irritate and start with one application/day to make sure that your skin isn't gonna wig out on you. And for excema the best thing to do is to stop the itch-scratch cycle (which I am a victim of... ::sigh::) so the best tx is Hydrocortisone 1% (i have target brand because target's the best). But only use this tx for about a week otherwise funny stuff's gonna happen. So the lineup is pretty much my daily regimen for this coming break. I just put in the boston contact stuff and tooth care stuff just so the picture looks better, haahaa.

Promises III

Just because I'm in a celebratory spirit.

Boys er... one in particular... :)

Wow this is tough thinking of stuff by myself. If you want a visual essay, THIS pretty much sums it up.

oh ok. I know where to start now.

Why no boys until May? I wanted to focus on enjoying God and finding my home in Him alone. I wanted to enjoy being by myself, thinking for myself and just taking the time to, yeah, spend on non-boy things (whatever those were.. i'm not entirely sure). Yeah the biggest thing was just taking this time to completely abide in Christ and letting Christ abide in me. To learn that the universe doesn't revolve around me nor the boy i have my eye on, but the sovereign, powerful God that created that boy.

I remember thinking, if someone does pursue, I would say: "You don't want to date me. I'm a total mess. You don't think so now, just wait a month, then you'll be subject to the writhing violence that is Roz. I'm just going to burden you with emotion and drive you away."

That's what I WOULD have said, until this guy came along. In a span of 10 weeks David started from a guy standing behind a table for Sonrise at the Student Organization Fair to this guy I'm totally attracted to who happens to be attracted to me! (and we're dating now, totally awesome).

It was all the "me, too," "are you kidding me?" "OH MY GOODNESS," "are you SERIOUS" moments that made things come together, Not to mention strolls in the Park, productive studying, huge amounts of self disclosure, and meaningful conversations over dinner.

so what DID happen to no boys until May? Welp, let's just say I met someone who is as passionate about the Jesus, knowledge/leaning, family and other things as I am (maybe even more). And David made an offer that I wasn't about to pass up. Cool beans. :)

addendumb: I wrote this almost 4 years ago. Thought it'd be interesting to compare.

Promises II

hm... i think i'll deal with #3 at the end.

Material Things

I remember asking Christina to keep me accountable after coming back from China in regards to shopping. For a while before the trip, I found myself buying more than giving. Being stingy with others and generous with myself. And during the trip, I lived on so much less. It's possible to live that much more simply. But then again, I was away in a foreign place focused on something outside of myself.

Am I being legalistic by going through with this self-imposed "shopping fast?" One of the more stinging comments my parents made were "she has a dozen bags. do you need that many bags?" This was when I moved into my apartment.

Dude, I do have too many bags. shoot.

But I dunno, there's a difference between living comfortably and living in decadence. I don't need decadence. I think i need to be mindful of what I'm spending. I remember telling someone that I keep 99% of everything I buy and return 1% of it. So that means I would think before I buy. That's a good start. Maybe I should think harder. Yes, I do like this < article of clothing > and yes I think it's cute. ooo it's on sale. But, do I need it? That's the question of the century.

Tremendously blessed I am, but a good steward am I?

I dunno, Yoda, I dunno.

Promises from the Beginning of the Quarter I

So I made a number of promises (commitments to myself) at the beginning of the quarter:
1) Find a fellowship
2) Find a church
3) No boys until May
4) No shopping until May
5) Maintain the same mindset I did when I was overseas

I've found a fellowship and you can read about it in the archive (forgot the date, but [shameless plug] feel free to peruse.)

Finding A Church

There were a number of recommendations made before I even came to San Francisco which included Sunset Church, Great Exchange Covenant Church (GRX Acts II), and CityChurch San Francisco. Here are my initial reflections of each church

Sunset: It's so much like Bread of Life. Predominantly Chinese, relatively contemporary, very conservative, the congregation is very young. The teaching is solid. Pastor Jeff Louie did his doctorate on Revelation and you can totally tell he loves that subject. Tracy a fellow farm student goes there as well as some other people.

GRX ActsII: The community is so strong. I feel as though I can bring my friends here and it will be a very safe place to share with them what I believe. The worship is amazing, yeah, amazing. I feel as though I can worship uninhibited. The messages are really encouraging. Everytime I go, I'm encouraged of a lesson that I've learned in the past and convicted to further live out that lesson.

CityChurch: Solid, Solid teaching. Totally solid. A lot like the church my sister goes to in Boston. I really really appreciate the quotes included at the beginning of the service packet. They're insightful and cause me to think about the topic of the sermon by bringing a different perspective other than the pastor (who happens to be really solid, but I said that already). I also like the fact that throughout the service, every week, the Gospel is somehow incorporated.

At this point, all 3 churches are totally money. I just need to pick one, settle and start learning, serving and communing.

Which one to pick? I promised everyone that I would decide by the end of the quarter and here I am at the end of the quarter (a couple days past due). I told myself to sit down and to really think about what role the Church plays in my spiritual development. Here are some things:
1) Source of feeding.
2) A place to serve
3) My circle of friends (i.e. community)
4) Meeting a potential spouse. (I know this one isn't as deep as the other ones, but, to be honest, it was actually pretty important. Feel free to wave a red flag if you deem fit).
Here's the Biblical Role of a Church
1) For prayer and support of missionaries (Acts 14:23)
2) To recruit, raise up and train those who will go and make disciples (Acts... like all of it)
3) A place to use our spiritual gifts to build up the Body. (1 Cor. 14)
4) The wisdom of God be made known (Eph 3:10)
5) To serve those in real need. (1 Tim 5)

Actually, all 3 churches possess these qualities.... which I had already established, sorta. So it just comes down to... personal preference. So I'm officially deciding on

::drum roll::

City Church

Why? I've been raised going to a Chinese American church. In college I went to a Chinese American church. I think this time around, I'd like a little diversity. Bring in more perspective and worship with brothers and sisters who are NOT like me and who do NOT have the same upbringing. Perhaps they can encourage me with my faith and I can encourage them. Also, I have a sunday buddy going to City Church.

So there you have it. I'm excited to see what ministry the Lord wants me to serve. :)

Little did I know I would have my first Ghiradelli Sundae on a Sunday (the FIRST Sunday [of the advent season])

This is David Young. My sundae (and Sunday!) buddy. :)

And these are our sundaes. Totally awesome. Dark Chocolate Hot Fudge and Brownie. SOOOOOO GOOOD. And a tip: if you want to eat at ghiradelli square, it closes shop at midnight. If you go at like 10 or 11, the line is a lot shorter and you can actually sit down without waiting in line. Sweet eh?