how long has it been since i downloaded this thing? Anyway, what has happened these past few days.. OMG I"M GOING TO MALAYSIA THIS FRIDAY!! OMGOMG. Teehee. Somethign stupid i did today, that i regret saying, but i say stupid things everyday so it shouldn't really bother me right? I think as a ploy since i didn't want to do the sunday school evaluations, and there weren't enough I reasoned that i wasn't present for sunday school enough to give an accurate evaluation of the sunday school which was totally true and Tom who is one of the sfc sponsors was like all how come you're not filling out an evaluation, and i explained that i wasn't here enough to fill one out he was like WHAT?! and immediately i regretted what I said, but the thing is, it's true, but i dunno... maybe i should have filled one of those things out. i dunno. :P I've been doing nothing and studying the whole day. and the weekend. Oh we had a christmas party on friday after sfc, it was hecka fun. (haahaa like thenorcal lingo?) anyway, yeah it was really fun. i studying on saturday and today, i'm gonna study some more tomorrow and tuesday and wednesday morning 'cause i just LOVE to study calculus. i think ima get a B in that class, even though a b isn't bad and i don't need to get a 4.0 in college, but still, it's the principle of the wholething. hold up.. it's not the principle of the whole thing. it's just the fact that i can't stand having anything less than an A if i try for it. and believe me, i've tried to get an A in this class. even if i do rock the final, i think ima get an A-, maybe not, so to rock the final, i gotta study study study, and go to the rsf to relieve that stress and study more and maybe take some vitamin b pills to calm the nerves and sleep and study and study and study some more.

I GOT AN A I GOT AN A. :) :D Anyway, less than a week and them I get to go home. :) Less than a week and I can go online. :) only a ween until i'm on a plane flying over the Pacific to a muslim country, scary huh? But pretty cool. guess what the temperature is like in malaysia... 70 degrees F and 90 percent humidity. THat's always gonna be fun. Feels good to have 2 finals done and only 1 to go. Praise God. This is totally His gift to me and yeah.. wow. :) Man.. feels good. :) It feels like i don't have to study for this one, but then again, that's not good, 'cause math is what i'm worried about, so just as my dad says, just gotta push the pencil.

Chem final tomorrow. :(

If I were a work of art, I would be Claude Monet's Waterlilies. I am soft and gentle, but very colourful. Although based in reality, I look at the world through a filter of impressions which shape how I see things. Splashes of light help to define my presence and bring an endearing quality. Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

:)

207 out of 350 on a practice chem final. i'm just happy its not the real thing. I know i can do better and i wasn't really giving 100 percent, but that's just a little discouraging. but the thing is, it just tells me that i gotta study a bit more. do a lot of practice problems, you know? i'm in the middle of my break. been taking the chem final and as soon as the washers downstairs open up, ima put laundry in and eventually start studying again. it's crunch time now and yeah gotta study. but i dun't wanna. :P
"Hark the Herald Angels Sing, Glory to the Newborn King
Peace on earth and mercy triumph God and sinners reconciled
joyful all ye nations rise, join the triumph of the skies
with angelic host proclaim, Christ is Born in bethlehem
Hark the herals Angels sing, Glory to the Newborn King."

It's Norcal vs. Socal. THey're tired 10-10 and only a couple seconds left on the clock. Someone shoots the ball and roz catches it. (that in itself is a miracle) She shoot and SHE SCORES!!! HER ONE AND ONLY BASKET OF THE DAY. and it WINS THE GAME!! WHAT AN AMAZING PLAY! yeah, that was the high point of my day. teehee. It was all down hill from there.. hm.. maybe not. i think my nap that i'm going to take is gonna be a small highlight considering i've been studying. :( So yeah, finals coming up. I'm a bit nervous taking a final thats worth 35 percent of my grade, but it's all good right? Chem is all i'm studying right now. save me from the mild madness. i get to go home in less than 2 weeks. :) 12 days exactly. happy christmas from me to you. :)

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrew 12:1-2
Here's another one
"My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the LORD, nor faint when you are reproved by Him; for those whome the LORD loves he disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He recieves." Hebrews 12:5b-6
Question that was raised in our hbs small group: What's the difference between discipline and punishment?

Taking a break from studying chemistry. Playing for worship tomorrow at sfc, a bit nervous 'cause i'm not sure if my skills are good enough. a lot is expected from me, and i hope that during worship, God will be pleased with me. i'm in the mood for some sushi. yesterday was a good day. :)

oh yeah.. what did i do today? went to church, slept, studied.

Have you ever wondered how expendable you were? I wonder how important I am... if i disappeared one day, would people come and get me? Life would go on if I died, and in the big picture, I don't really matter. Have you ever felt like that? I wish i could do something for the masses to remember me, but that's just superficial appreciation or just seeking negative attention which isn't healthy.. I know i should base my identity and everything on the fact that I'm God's child and that I have eternal life and by that, i am free and i matter, but it's hard not to hold people's opinions of you high you know? I guess you don't have to do something and get the mob to worship you or just at least remember your name, but you know.. i dunno.. actually I wouldn't really want to have a bad reputation, but to have EVERYONE i dunno that'd be hard. Yeah i remember a lot of my teachers didn't know me very well 'cause i didn't talk that much. Do i still not talk much? probably. Haahaa it's was sorta funny.. for the longest time my uncle didn't think i could talk until one day when i was five i talked and he was like.. wow she can talk. Weird huh? I guess it depends on who's present.. i'll be more or less talkative. and when i'm comfortable, i can be stupid and crazy and sometimes i get embarassed easily, but sometimes i don't. it depends... is that the same for you? kind of in the mood for some cup noodles. I was gonna run today, but it hailed and i dunno.. i feel like some cup noodles. :P My sweater duster smelled like food, but some sprays of bath and body works anti bac helped, but then it would be better to actually wash it, but it's new.. i was just stupid and took it to aculpoco and ordered the skillet with spattering oil and STEAK. man i miss steak. anyway back to the insignificant thing. I think... how significant am i? For a while, i wondered if i just stopped coming to church, would people notice i wasn't there? i guess that's the mindset of a visitor, or a really lazy person who just doesn't really wanna take the initiative and talk to people. Partially why i don't talk is because when approached... sometiems i can't really find somehting to say or a question to ask and if i say something there's this fear that what i'm saying makes no sense which has happened to me.. or someone has laughed at me which has happened or my conversation topic dies which makes me feel stupid. Hm... looks like oversensitivity to me. Welcome to my brain.

Ok.. the pictures.. i'm havin some trouble. to be honest.. i have no idea to post pictures. :P If anyone knows.. feel free to email me. Taking a break from studying. Man... acid and base problems are hard. Either that, I have no idea what i'm doing. :P Today it was a nice change, i studied at the I-house with christina and sammy.
Oh here's a chem question:
What is the pH of .1L of .1 M HCOOH + .1 L of .1 M NaOH and then diluted to 1 L?
Yeah.. the pictures are gonna come later.. when i find out how to add pics. haahaa. Anyway, back to studying. Now on to.. REDOX REACTIONS!!!

You wanna know something weird? Our phone works sometimes and doesn't work sometimes. Weird. Today, one of my floormates has a guitar so i was just jamming in my room.. worshipping God. It was amazing. I love music, I love to play guitar and I love to worship. Especially when you're hungry and only focused on God. Fasting is a good discipline... Jesus fasted for 40 days. It causes one to not be consumed by eating, but to draw back from this human trait and observe and meditate on what God has taught.. it allows one to observe and it take so much discipline. Today during HBS, Stacy brought cookies and milk..man.. was I hungry. Tomorrow for lunch, ima break the fast. But for now... it's just reflection, observation and meditation. time to sleep. check out the pictures! more to come soon. :) bye!