Sunday 29 June 2008

Stop and Stare

I recently got a shipment of CDs from BMG music and what's currently playing? OneRepublic.

yup.

Anyway, I just finished another 6-week block on the liver transplant service. Why am I blogging at 7am on a Sunday morning, you ask? I'm training to wake up at 4:30 to get to the hospital by 5am for the infamous Orthosurgery rotation which starts tomorrow.

I've had a lot of thoughts these past 6 weeks about work, life and the future and I suppose this is one of those soul searching entries that should probably be in my private journal, but whatever. Public self revelation is the best, eh?

I'm learning how to speak up, how to slow down, how to function on a global schedule that I don't really make on my own. In big groups, I'm usually reserved and I watch. It takes a long time for me to decompress and my mind starts racing when I'm stressed and when I had classes, I liked to stroll in 20 minutes late and sleep whenever I wanted, now on time is the norm and i'm hitting my bed by 9pm.

In the midst of all of that learning, I've failed to put God as the priority for the past 6 weeks. I was functioning with the impression of being constantly evaluated by my preceptor, my resident and friends. My behavior, my thinking, my words are evaluated and that was at the forefront. I've run dry and this past week, I've slowly gotten a few drops at a time of the well that God provides to keep me alive.

God has been gracious to Roz. Through all my sin, all the lies floating around in my head, Jesus stopped for me. Well not JUST me, but you know what I'm talking about.

Some people don't stop for others. When someone's hurting on the road, they pass through to do the next thing they need to do. But Jesus stopped for me. I forget that, even though I shouldn't.

Roz, you've freely recieved, now freely give.

Tuesday 3 June 2008

anti-stalker

Someone on the UCSF network has googled my whole name and looked at this humble blog of mine. is it weird that i check who stalks me?

Also, someone in New York City with Windows vista.

and someone from Denali Software, but we all know who this is.

if you come to my website, i know your network, what kind of internet you have, your IP address, the type of program you're using, your resolution and from which website you came from.

who's the stalker now?! haHA...

i do this because i totally stalk people, too.