our phone doesn't work.. sad. need to get a new phone. :P
i got a new template, like it? i like the font and stuff, but i need to go to target or something and get a new phone. Anyway i'm fasting today.. at dinner time.. so after this post.. ima have an extended quiet time and prayer time.
Does anyone know how much you can get a guitar for? I dunno.. some people got theirs used for 100 and some people got theirs new for a lot more, but I don't have my guitar and it'd be so nice to have one, you know? I dunno..it'll be a christmas wish? And today I saw 2 greyhounds.. they're so small and skinny and they looked so scared. Yesterday on the bus, i saw a seeing eye dog.. it was SOOO CUTE. I was thinking... if i could extend this blog section and make another one for pictures.. that would be SO COOL. HHHHHhhhhmm.. :) yeah... maybe i'll do that. :)
Anyway, signing out...

oh haahaa.. didn't realize the passage was already on the webpage. :)

::attention:: ::ATTENTION:: my dorm phone doesn't work so for those of you who know my cell number, call my cell from now on. :) For those of you who don't know my cell number, e-mail me 'cause i don't wanna announce it to the whole world by posting it onto a website. Anyway, being on lockdown is actually pretty relaxing. I was sitting here for a while 'cause i didn't know what to do.. 'cause i couldn't chat, and i finished hw and stuff for today so yeah.. it was nice. :) i noticed that chem 3a is a really impacted course, so... i'm thinking of just taking chem 1b and the 112 series to get a better foundation in biochemistry 'cause i wanna go into pharmacy and that's what they deal with, right? RIGHT?! If anyone has any advice.. please do. I welcome it. And being stupid, i forgot my Bible at home, so like i don't have a Bible so i'm restricted to going onto the computer and doing my quiet time off of the Bible Gateway website. :( It kinda sucks 'cause i like to leave nigel (he's precious to me, yes, but God is more so) and spend time just God and i. i'm almost done with the psalms... anyone have any suggestion for what to go through next during sacred times? if not, ima go through proverbs. one chapter a day or something.. then Isaiah, lots of prophecy lots of good stuff. Maybe Jerehmiah (spelling?) and other prophets after that.
Yeah, i'm writing this 'cause a friend, kindly reminded me to update my blog 'cause apparently if i'm not on aim.. i'm completely shut off from the world. That shouldn't be. If you're not online, you should have more of a social life 'cause you're actually interacting with people.. or you're like me and find another impersonal form of communication like writing a blog. Interesting things to think about.
yupyup.
Have I shared my favorite passage yet? If i have, the Bible is good and repetition is good.
"Rejoice in the Lord always, Again I will say rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:4-7
May the words of God bless you.

You're wondering why at 2 in the morning? Well... I'm on lockdown right now.. need to work on it 'cause i spend the night watching friends. Not a good idea. i'm a bit tired right now.. procrastinating. I think i have a lot of work tomorrow...not a very good sign.

STINKIN TIRED is what roz is right now. Maybe it's not the best idea to be writing on the blog, huh? hm... Oh well.. i got time. That's what they all say, yeah.. but soon ima be in the hospital for a broken hip 'cause i tripped down the stairs talking on my cell again and this time it's the hip 'cause i never really got around to eating calcium when i was my age. Weird thought huh? Yeah you better be saying that. In times of extremes the brilliance in people comes out... do you believe that? I dunno.... it's an interesting thought but not always true. Right now, i'm at the extreme.. extremely tired, but there's nothing brilliant coming out of my mouth.. just random ramble.. RAMBLE I TELL YOU. Yeah.. i'm crazy... crazy tired. time to go to sleep.
Song of the day
Let your Glory Fall
LISTEN TO IT.

I think i'm feeling a bit under the weather. :P
gonna sleep.

i'm home. it feels so good to be home, but one stupid thing i forgot to do... i forgot to bring my glasses home.. stupid, huh? better not forget when i come home for christmas. that'd be sad. yeah.. thanksgiving is over and now its time for the holiday season to start. :) no.. just kidding... this is the holiday season.. a time to give thanks. My thoughts are probably very simple, very childlike, but we shouldn't just have a day put aside just to give thanks. that's a bit ludicrus and tells a foreigner what kind of people the americans are who only give thanks on one day of the year when they're blessed with so much. anyway.. there is a lot to give thanks for... there's a lot to give thanks for every day... so yeah i'm not gonna type up a long list.. it'll just be thanks to God in my prayers and meditations. :)
Anyway... don't have high speed internet and we don't even have 2 phone lines and i'm a bit tired. God bless! And every day in everything, Give Thanks to the LORD. :)

GOING HOME TODAY!! GOING HOME!!!!!!!! :-D :-D

It's about 4 in the morning. Why am I up? Have no idea why...
but it's wednesday morning at 4. this means only one thing.. i'm going home in less than 24 hours. looked forward to this day so much... get to go home home.
You know.. i feel like i'm still in high school... like i'm still 16 or something because it feels as if none of my emotions have changed... my motives for doing things are still as selfish as they were 2 years ago.. and i'm still as immature as i was then. But you think... isn't college supposed to be a time of maturing? Perhaps. I'm never aware of times of growth unless i look back and say.. i was so immature what was i thinking.. like when i was 12.. i criticized myself when i was 7 'cause i did this stupid embarassing dance in front of this guy i liked.. anyway that's in the past. Now i think back to when i was 16.. there are some things i regret.. but a lot of the things, i just reason saying it's just me trying to be young. There's nothing wrong with being young 'cause when you're 30 people will think you're in your early twenties. I just don't know... if my actions reflect those of a teenage high school girl.. then what about my Spiritual Walk with God? what about my emotional and academic growth? Some things to ponder over at 4 in the morning as i prepare to go home.. dunno why.. i'm not even packing. Pack tomorrow.. not going to class.. most of them are cancelled anyway. tomorrow.tomorrow i'l loveyou tomorrow. it's only a day away.

What's the agenda?!
1. Quiet Time
2. Chem Studying.
3. shower
4. sleepy time.

Now for the true time waster stuff.
I COME HOME ON WEDNESDAY!!!!!! :-D Yeah... anyway. Today has been good. Totally relaxed and yet so productive. Don't you just love those days? Yeah.. so my research paper: African American Blues influence on James Baldwin for an Asian American Studies class. I mean.. what's with that? It doesn't even feel like an asian american studies class.. more like an ethnic studies class.
Oh prayer request: Pray for my ochem class situation. The lecture/labs are full.. pray that whatever God wants i'll do. If he wants me to take ochem next semester pray that it would open up (this is what i want) If it's not God's will... pray that I will not be bitter or angry and change my wants to what God wants, and to be in his will. Yeah? Thanks! :)
TO STUDY!

HI.
Last night, this morning at approx 1:38 am to 3:00 am was one of the most amazing things i've ever seen in my life. METEOR SHOWER. It was so clear and I was up at the clark kerr track. Usually it's really creepy up there 'cause it's all dark and it's QUIET.. but lots and lots of people were there. and yeah the shooting stars were amazing. It was just totally a reflection of God's glory and majesty that he would create something as beautiful as this. :) This year has been cool. :) First a lightning storm that rocked the house and a meteor shower. Very cool.
Manipulation... Is it possible for everyone to be manipulative or are there people who can't stop and people who just can't manipulate people? Interesting question without an answer. Sometimes I think i'm very manipulative and it's true. But i've never really thought of what it's like for the person to be manipulated until today. I didn't get manipulated or hurt or anything but was just thinking about that. You can totally hurt someone and belittle them and I dunno.. that's not edifying to God's body. gotta do hw. be back later with more.

FRIDAY....
the weekend is here.. and in just a couple days, a LONG weekend is coming up. :) LONG. a weekend where I can sit in front of the tv and veg and do what? CROSSTITCH. :) Ok.. i've been working on this project for my discipler Karen, but she moved away in lets see... June right? it's been like 5 months...and i still haven't finished.. partially 'cause it's detailed work.. little stitches of the lyrics and music of Amazing Grace.. but it's bigger than i thought, so Karen, if you're reading this.. actually.. forget what i jsut said 'cause you're not supposed to know. :P
Anyway, today at fellowship we had a worship workshop. There were 2 worship times at the begining and end and 2 seminars. The first one I went to was a guitar one taught by Sammy Lee. We learned how to HAMMER, MUFFLE and PICK. Fun words teehee... but yeah it was fun. I knew how to play since like 8th grade and lead worship but i never had my own guitar.. maybe its time to get one. :) And the second one was taugh by Scott Eng, the attitude of worship. He taught that one should approach worship with reverence as in Isaiah 6, but also obedience crying out.. here I am. send me. Worship for me is bowing down to God and acknowleding His Supremeness.. as Scott said.. His Godness..We are broken and only through Him with his strength and power we find joy peace and confidence. When I worship.. i've struggled with focusing on just God and only Him and when my mind is focused on giving my all.. praising him with my whole being, it's Amazing and i can feel the Spirit just filling me up.. like that song: Come and Fill me Up. I love music, so music is a way to worship the Almighty. I like to study so my grades and academics are a way for me to worship the Almighty.. realizing and being thankful for the freedom to learn at this university and to just do my best as a witness even though a lot of people who aren't christian do their best and still get like PhDs and stuff. Yeah.. like the song Hungry goes: "broken i come to you for i know You satisfy.." this is how I come go God. I know i am not whole.. i am broken and i come humbled into the amazing whiteness, glory and majesty of the most high. There are glipses of God's perfection in his creation and I witnessed that when I went to Europe. There are so many pictures, so many paintings so many landmarks that humans have build with their hands.. it's amazing. I have pictures so if you know me.. ask to see my pictures. :) also the mountains. Lots of worship songs.. i lift my eyes up to the mountains where does my help come from. :) Did you feel the mountains tremble.. the mountains are majestic.. mighty.. lasting.. just a teensy 1 in avogadro's number the size of God's glory. yeah i have pictures of the swiss alps too... very sound of music-ish. so anyway.. i love to worship. :)
sorry.. sam's blog is www.notorioussam.blogspot.com i think.

THURSDAY.........
the day that comes before friday and immediately following wednesday.. my goodness, today was one of the longest days.. couldn't sleep last night.. don't know why.. wasn't on a coffee high or anything just couldn't sleep. And today in chem lab guess what we had to do.. TITRATIONS!!!! so tedious.
go to my friend sam liu's blog.. www.notoriussam.blogspot.com or somethin... his journal entry is so encouraging. :)

Emotions are my hubris... is that what it is.. tragic fault? yeah. I let emotions take over my thoughts, giving whatever I'm thinking about free reign over my mind which is unhealthy and yeah.. harmful.. same diff. I pray that the God of the Universe in his all glory and majesty take my heart, form it and guard it... for my heart belongs only to the Most High. If someone does come along, may this godly man love God as much as I and love God more than me. May God grant me patience with this and with my emotions.
What else? Discipline.. something I take pride in. Perhaps maybe to the extreme. Is there an extreme in Discipline? not sure.. but anything extreme can't be profitable.. moderation is taught to be the right way to go. A lot of times I worry that I'm rubbing this pride in other people's faces... perhaps it's somethign I need to work on, to be humble. A lot of times when i try to be humble... it feels like fake modesty which is wrong, too... that's like knowing that you're good but you say you aren't, you know? Being truly humble means to know that you have this skill, but using it for God's glory, not to use it for personal advancement.. you know? YOU KNOW?!!?? haahaa.. (sorry stupid comic relief joke not the right timing) But yeah in all seriousness.. humility is a Gift from God not to be taken lightly, not to be abused, but to be used in the advancement of His kingdom.

Midterm turned out to be easier than expected... that can be a bad sign, but that's ok. This week is a study week.. must get into the groove of studying and then a break for a week before finals come around... It's worth it.
Have you ever wondered if your talking annoyed the person you were talking to? So many times, I'm afraid that online, I'm being annoying or something...dunno.
One more week...

The beauty of the Lord astounds me,
When I wake up, the sun greets me with warmth
That only could have been created by the most high.
Every evening, the sunset bids goodnight
With beauty so rich that a million diamonds cannot match.

For who am I to judge the beauty of the Lord
but the Lord to judge the beauty of his creation
The glow in an infant's cheeks,
the twinkle in a dying man's eye
wrinkles reflecting years of weathered storms.

Magazines give us the world's view on the beautiful
the prettiness they proclaim is only "skin deep"
The lovely aren't always beautiful
They are those one can love
Those with the extra tissue for your nose
Those with the words that can subdue any sob

The lovely are those sent by God
With the warmth of the sun, the reflection of the moon
to guide us to Jesus' perfection.

Ahh... tonights my relaxing night.. just gotta chill and relax before the midterm. This midterm.. there's a lot of difficult stuff like Gibbs free energy and equilibrium constants and le Chatelier's principle.. say that a lot.. it sounds REALLY REALLY cool. haahaa like L'Hospital's rule. Man.. i'm such a nerd. Haahaa... Anyway, today i spent like the WHOLE stinkin day studying.. first with chem hw.. then a chem review session.. then sitting in a cafe waiting for my chem ta to come by for office hours not knowing that he moved his office hours to Latimer (a chem building on campus) so yeah.. just read.. Oh what was really cool. I ordered a hot chocolate and i didn't have my wallet so the guy gave me a hot cocoa for free! isn't that so cool? Cafe Milano people are nice. Yupyup.. oh what sucked today. I rode the bus to the RSF (the recreational sports facility) but it was CLOSED for veteran's day. >_< so i thought.. i'll just run back.. wow.. such a workout.. but I think i'm getting a spare tire, not that i'm superficial or anything. :P Yeah
Everytime before a midterm, I always seem to get really nervous, but whatever happens, it's in God's sovereign will. Every grade is a good gift from God and it's meant for learning and meant for His glory which is what we all should aim for you know? Everything should be a form of Worship to God. Let everything in life should revolved around the Almighty because he is the creator and deserves nothing less. This is headknowledge i know, but I'm struggling with heart realization. To be at peace in everything I do. To bear fruit in whatever comes into my life.. to EVERYTHING in my life. Someone said I had self discipline, but if you achieve that... putting God first and only first takes so much discipline. Discipline and trust that I'm praying for and striving for.

Well, it's Sunday and I have a midterm on Tuesday. Not really wanting to study... HEY! I'll write my blog! Anyway... an interesting question that one of my floormates asked me today. She asked about my ankle 'cause I sprained it a couple months ago. She asked if i went to the Tang Center (the health center) and what they did to me. And then she asked, so are you gonna sue the university? And i was like.. HUH?! Why should I? I'm fine now, and it's not like the construction of the Dwinelle Hall steps are faulty. I was talkin on my stinkin cell phone. That's actually sorta funny... How'd you sprain your ankle? Oh, I fell down some stairs while talking on my cell phone. haahaa. Anywho, yeah i'm like, I don't see a reason 'cause i'm better now. And she's like.. what if you didn't heal, think of the people you can save by sueing.. and i'm like.. I prefer not to think about stuff like that. I dunno just got a bit weirded out. My thinking is: why go against the intitution that gives you the freedom of speech? Why go against the institution that houses you and gives you your education? Why just not be content? Anyway, just a conservative girl's point of view.. feel free to disagree. :P Yeah and a couple days ago...my roomate and some of our floor mates were watching this chinese cartoon thing and it was in mandarin and I realized I can't understand it. How sad is that? I'm chinese and I can't understand my own language. I dunno that's just sad. Maybe sometime in the near future, ima take chinese or somethin. yupyup. Anywho, back to studying for my midterm or doing math or music or asian am or something alone the lines of work. 1.5 WEEKS BAYBEE!!! :)

Hi.
You're probably gonna be like WHAT THE HECK?! But, tonight I had so much fun. Today I went to this brother's appreciation thing, where all of us girls from fellowship appreciate the guys and make dinner for them and stuff. It was really fun, we had a skit, it was a fifties theme and yeah it was really fun. :) The burgers were AMAZING. haahaa, this is the church I'm gonna stay at. It's a family here, it's a place where I could potentially feel at home. And the guys, it's really funny.. they made up a dance from grease, it was so funny and they all really got into it which was really cool. Everyone looked so good. :) And tonight.. we had a miniparty in my room. It started out with someone wanting hear this trance song, and then we ended up turning off the lights and raving, and dancing and stuff.. fun fun fun. :) We were like totally singing to the Lion King and dancing and stuff, it was really fun. You're probably wondering, why the difference from yesteray and today? Maybe I'm in my cycle. Anyway.. it's 2 in the morning. It would be a good idea to sleep. Till tomorrow.

Hey, Just got back from fellowship. It was cool 'cause today we had this combined thing with this group who are parents of college students, so its nice to know people from different fellowships. But I see people, and some people who've been here for a long time or who were born and raised in the church, they know everyone and they know all these inside jokes and stuff. To be honest, I'm not very good with large groups. It's a bit lonesome here, you can probably tell that I send a lot of time online partially because I don't hang out with friends. I don't really have a lot of friends up here or my friends are really busy, so it's a bit lonely. Just a week and a half until I go back home, to Torrance CA. It's a cozy city in southern California called Torrance. That's still home to me. I remember my sister said that i'll learn to call this place home. It's been 10 weeks and I don't feel at home. My biggest fear is going home and seeing that I've changed. I'm no longer at home when i'm home home and it's still not home here and yeah.. so I'm homeless, you know? I dunno, I just gotta pray that God will provide a friend or a group of friends, maybe a roomate or a couple. :) Maybe why I feel this way is 'cause i'm an introvert and quiet and people think I'm unfriendly and people are scared of me 'cause I'm a book work. Seriously, i didn't even realize I was a nerd until like junior year. But anyway, yeah.. it takes a while for me to make friends.. a LONG time. Anyway, i'm boring you i'm sure. Till tomorrow. :)

Hi. Yes yes I know if you're wondering.. this is Roz's take on the world, you'll see everything from my prespective. Anywho, gotta go to fellowship... i shall return.