Tuesday 30 April 2002

weirdness: at 9:00 this morning.. two men knock on our door and yell maintenance!! i wake up, open the door and they walk in and take pictures and talk about repainting the closets/drawers and wathever. they say thank you and they walk out. weird.

Sunday 28 April 2002

ok one more thing. :) shoot i forgot what i was gonna say... ::sigh:: if it's important it'll come up later.
just one more thing before i get off the computer.
i just got 2 something like silas cds. they're a christian band. they're very good.
My mom isn't not keen on me working at the city of hope. she was just concerned about the distance from home. :)

Saturday 27 April 2002

ok... i dunno if i am a nerd a lot. here are potential habits that might classify me as a nerd. my windows xp icon are chess pieces. i have named my computer nigel, i like ready for pleasure, i like to study when there's nothing else to do and no one to talk to.

here's stuff that wouldn't make me a nerd. when i'm at my computer, i'd rather play minesweeper than study (pathetic), i, personally like to see the sun once in a while. people are nice to see, too sometimes. but man, i gotta turn up the nerd mode next week until finals. ack.

nerd also nurd Pronunciation Key (nûrd)
n. Slang
A foolish, inept, or unattractive person.
A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.

[Perhaps after Nerd, a character in If I Ran the Zoo, by Theodor Seuss Geisel.]
nerdy adj.
Word History: The word nerd, undefined but illustrated, first appeared in 1950 in Dr. Seuss's If I Ran the Zoo: “And then, just to show them, I'll sail to Ka-Troo And Bring Back an It-Kutch a Preep and a Proo A Nerkle a Nerd and a Seersucker, too!” (The nerd is a small humanoid creature looking comically angry, like a thin, cross Chester A. Arthur.) Nerd next appears, with a gloss, in the February 10, 1957, issue of the Glasgow, Scotland, Sunday Mail in a regular column entitled “ABC for SQUARES”: “Nerda square, any explanation needed?” Many of the terms defined in this “ABC” are unmistakable Americanisms, such as hep, ick, and jazzy, as is the gloss “square,” the current meaning of nerd. The third appearance of nerd in print is back in the United States in 1970 in Current Slang: “Nurd [sic], someone with objectionable habits or traits.... An uninteresting person, a ‘dud.’” Authorities disagree on whether the two nerdsDr. Seuss's small creature and the teenage slang term in the Glasgow Sunday Mailare the same word. Some experts claim there is no semantic connection and the identity of the words is fortuitous. Others maintain that Dr. Seuss is the true originator of nerd and that the word nerd (“comically unpleasant creature”) was picked up by the five- and six-year-olds of 1950 and passed on to their older siblings, who by 1957, as teenagers, had restricted and specified the meaning to the most comically obnoxious creature of their own class, a “square.”
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

Look! Dr. Seuss made up the word nerd! he's cool. :)

Friday 26 April 2002

Apparently my mom thought I would get paid, so when I told her about this volunteer thing, she wasn't too keen on me working there. She wanted me to get paid. We'll see. I'll talk to other investigators, but I'm not sure how it's gonna work out. We'll see. :P

Thursday 25 April 2002

Look at the time. My midterm is in 45 minutes. I'm at Moffit supposedly studying, but I feel as though I've studied enough for this midterm. God is good. I mean he's always Good, but yeah. I got a lower score than i expected on my math midterm. Sure, i was a little disappointed because i studied so much, but i was weirdly relaxed because the pressure is off me to get an A now, but then i find out that it was graded wrong and i got a higher score after the regrade. Oh Lord, please let me not worry or whatever. I've studied enough for this chem midterm and I'm leaving it in the Lord's hands. I think I've learned a lot and understand the concepts pretty well, so we'll see. No matter what, i know that i've studied and not slacked. I mean if i get a bad score, it's not that it's not my fault, but i knwo that there's something to be learned and something to be thankful about you know?
So yeah about the summer thing, God IS good because Dr. Fong Fong Chu (it's cool that we have the same last name) offered to give me a volunteer position in her lab. I think i'm going to be working with inflammatory bowel symdrom with mice and somehow relating that to an antioxidant enzyme that either helps or hinders cancer. CANCER RESEARCH. I remember aspiring to do that when i was younger. Excitement is flowing out of me. :) I expected to be paid 'cause the application and the program website said i would, but i don't think it's an issue anymore because i'm a freshman without any previous lab experience and this is a really good opportunity for me to learn you know? So anyone have any objections to me accepting this position? and it's CANCER RESEARCH. Doesn't that just sound so cool?
Classes I'm taking next semester:
Chem 112A Ochem
Biology 1A
Music 25A Music Theory
Psych 2 General Psychology.
Fun stuff, eh?

Tuesday 23 April 2002

Midterm thursday. After thursday until may 1, PLAYTIME.
anyone wanna play with me?
praise the LORD oh my soul...
:)

Saturday 20 April 2002

Minesweeper is one of those games that have no point or purpose at all but just to be there for people to play. Come to think of it, it's a very very very morbid premise for a game. Look for mines but don't get killed. Real people do that and they get killed. I saw this photo exhibit where there were mine fields and people were there in wheel chairs.

Wednesday 17 April 2002

people in this world are sick.

Monday 15 April 2002

does anyone wanna see Mark Chew with an EAR RING?!
This is what we talked about in philosophy today: If God is an omnipotent, all loving God, then why does he allow innocent children to be tortured and suffer? Why does the stuff like the halocaust or slaver and lynchings in the U.S. happen? I thought I had an answer, but i don't know, my answer was It's all in God's will and though I don't understand now, God's will is sovereign and it'll all work to his glory. The fact that I am no longer satisfied with that answer scares me. I want more.

Saturday 13 April 2002

today is such a beautiful day. ugh.. chem lab in lieu of a beautiful day is not fun. ugh. On these days, i'd either want to go outside and play, go on a boat in the sf bay and enjoy the view and the wind and the water or go swimming... sucks to my chem lab. but the sun shines in from my window facing west so God provides me with enough sun and vitamin d. :)
my brain just woke up. i woke up about an hour ago. that's sort of an interesting concept if you think about it.
these days have been beautiful days.

Friday 12 April 2002

I got a camera teehee. :) Got to figure out how to put pictures on a website. maybe i should just make a website of my own. but then all of this would be gone.. GONE!!

Monday 8 April 2002

I had a nightmare yesterday:
I'm terminally sick and I go to my pediatrician. The treatment is that I get shot in the back of the head. So the procedure goes like this.. i lean back and i see this painting.. it's a painting hanging in the hallway next to the family room at home. I'm shot at point blank range and i hear it. A split second of intense pain and i feel everything draining out of me and now my vision is faded and only see muted colors. i'm sort of in a daze. Time passes and we go to a familiar restaurant with my family. We have to move tables and I have to help but i'm afraid of the blood draining from the back of my head. You see, i'm slowly dying. the bullet is lodged under my brain whenever i go through any physical exertion, blood and life drains out from the back of my head. we sit at a T shaped table and it's being said that the treatment is not working and I have to go in again. I hear the dr saying, if it doesn't work, we're gonna have to do it again until it does. so my next treatment is that i get shot in the heart.
I remember having the dream until i get shot in the head before yesterday. I don't know... do i fear death?
i'm feeling really insufficient. I don't know how God is using me. Well maybe it be a good thing that I don't know because if i do know how God has used me, i could translate that into pride and that's just beign stupid and prideful and seeking worth on my part. but then, it would be nice to see the fruit of the spirit, well that's like a personal thing... nevermind. Like, i guess what I'm trying to say is that, with the gifts that God has given me, how do I know if what I'm doing is really glorifying God you know what i mean? 'cause i believe that God has given me the gift of mercy. It's still not at all clear what this means and people have just said i think you have the gift of mercy. Byron says counseling but when i talk to my friends, it feels like the only thing i can do is pray and listen. i'm not wise to give good advice it feels like i can't say anything to comfort them except to pray and to listen. I don't know, just some thoughts.

Saturday 6 April 2002

I'm sitting here marinating in chlorine.. man. Today is such a beautiful day. The sun is shining the sky is blue and it's such a beautiful day. The temperature's just right also. It's such a beautiful day. :) These days makes me so happy.. a bounce in my walk.. the motivation to go outside and read instead of staying inside and working on a lab report. Man we spend 4 hours in a lab already.. mommy, can i go outside and play? No, roz, you need to stay inside and work on your lab report. Oh well.. at least i got some sun swimming.
I love my sister. Her name is Pauline. UCLA c/o 2000. She's 23 and five years older than me. She works for the UCLA Anderson School of Business. She's a beautiful person inside and out. It's such a foreign thought for me to call her Pauline. I was born and raised calling her Jeh jeh which is older sister in mandarin. And I look up to her a lot. She's done so much stuff for me and I don't exactly know what to do to love her back you know what I mean? I really appreciate all the stuff she's taught me like to be more open and more agressive and cleaner, teehee. :) I think she knows me pretty well and everytime I go home, I wish we can spend more time together. When she suggested that we get an apt together when I'm home for the summer I was like.. WOW that's gonna be SOOOOO cool. :) But then again she works at UCLA, the traffic's bad ALL the time. I don't know all her ministries, but I know she has a heart to serve. Just seeing her with my little cousins, especially Joy. She really loves Joy and I can tell she wants the best for her.. it's so cool. Haahaa, I didn't understand why my mother kept commenting on how much my sister and I sound alike until I called home yesterday and listened to my sister on the message machine. For a while I thought.. wait a min, i didn't record on the answering machine but it was my sister. WEIRD, huh? Except my sister doesn't whine as much and she's a lot more mature than I am. I'm still 12. :)

Thursday 4 April 2002

This week has gone by pretty fast. My week has ended and I am now officially on the weekend. Fun stuff.

Monday 1 April 2002

Prayer request:
There is this job at the city of hope that i really really really want. went to visit the facilities on friday and i loved it. the environment is peaceful, people are generally very very nice and i like the environment a lot. If this is what God wants me to do, let the door open for me to walk through. if it's something he doesn't want me to do, then please change my heart. make it ever true. make it want to do God's will.
this is such a struggle to work on a paper when all i can think about is going home and being at home, comfortable and safe. There's that general trend. Everytime I go home, and I come back, I'm so homesick.