Merry Christmas?

This is me 16 years ago if I was right handed and wearing metal rim glasses. This is Joy, my middle little cousin. It didn't feel like Christmas this year. Christmas Eve didn't include chestnuts roasting on an open fire, we didn't have a blanket of fresh snow on Christmas morning and there weren't throngs of children in their pajamas rushing down the stairs to see what Santa left them under the tree. Instead, Christmas this year wasn't about presents, or the tree, lights or celebrations. This Christmas was uneventful. The advantage is that I don't have to worry about gaining that holiday weight because I ate like I would any other day. Christmas eve was a normal Saturday, like any other Saturday where my parents were helping out at church with a potluck and i'm at home studying. Christmas day was like any other Sunday where I went to Church [habitually late] chatted with friends I grew up with and went home to take a nap. This Christmas was different because it was the first time our immediate family wasn't together in the same place. I remember when my sister and I were in high school, we'd buy a fresh tree from the West High Entertainment Unit tree lot, decorate it with dusty ornamets that we made or bought at 50% off, balding garland and lights that half didn't work (even though they did last year). In college, my parents resolved not to buy a tree and the celebration was sitting around together in front of the TV because the semester had zapped all my energy. The thing is, those were the best. We didn't do much but we were together. I don't talk much so just the simple act of sitting together was excitement enough for me. But then again, Christmas came a day late this year.

Grace got her marvelous stationery set with a commemorative box

Charity got a stylin' turtleneck sweater

and Joy got a scarf and gloves with stars on it.

For what it's worth, this Christmas was different. We spent a lot of time on the road. I don't think I had time to process the fact that it was Christmas. But it came and went. I'm looking forward to next year. I got big plans of cheesecake and lights.

This is Yosemite. The snow was so deep, we had to make a cave for ourselves.

haahaa, just kidding. This is a nice view of the valley. Note that there is no snow on the valley floor. You have to go up to the rim to play. But looking at this picture, doesn't it make you think of "You Do All Things Well" by Chris Tomlin?

so we went shooting at sunrise one morning. And it was the day after a storm. And for the first 30 minutes all we could get were mountains shrowded in mist. But for 2 minutes or maybe 5 (i forgot, jay do you remember?), the sun came out of a pocket of clouds and the valley started glowing like this.

Confucious welcomes you, your snowshoes or nordic skies to take the path of uncertainty... the path of certain death!!! (or a leisurely walk down the road.)

Just Across the Border

I got a chance to go to Mexico the weekend before Christmas to...spread the joy. Initially, I was Ms. Grumpy, just kind of going with the flow, wandering aimlessly with no aim, purpose or role, but in the end, I'm glad I went.

I got to play pharmacist with this woman who's also to my pleasant surprise is a UCSF graduate!

She has a smile that can light up a room.

Shanties for the migrant workers.

Shoe distribution in San Telmo.

Los Banos.

This is Mel. (yes that's her name... i think). I got to play on the swings and talk to her a bit.

Just a little taste.

Guess what I ate?

If you can guess what this is...i'll do something nice for you.  

GOING TO YOSEMITE THIS WEEK!!!!! Beautifulness. BTW, all submissions are due by 11:59PM on Saturday, December 24.

Promises IV

2 things: I finished Mountain Rain and have started on my scrapbook for the summer.

These 2 things bring back so many good memories of the summer. Of the amazing things I saw God doing and some of the trying times. I have all my pictures/scrabook/journal/bible/letters sprawled out in our family room, it looks like a tornado blew through it. But when I first started going through the pictures and organizing them, this flood of emotions washed over me and it was amazing. I also got a chance to talk to a couple people from the Summer. It's only been 4 months since the trip, but this quarter made it seem like it was so long ago.

Looking back on my journal entries, I read so much pain and uncertainty and just discomfort. It's amazing how God turned what started out to be a pretty bad summer into probably the most lifechanging summer of my life.

Funny how things turn out, eh? :)

This is a summary of my trip. In early August I listed things that I wanted to keep:
Continually praying
Always open for opportunities to minister to others
Uninhibited, smiling-from-ear-to-ear joy
Cherished quiet times every day
knowing God's heart for the nations

I feel so blessed now to have found someone to pray with every day. Intercessory prayer, praise, thanksgiving, everything. And yeah it was a cool habit that I praise God didn't leave. To just be automatic in coming to God first. Whether it be a quick whisper before a test or singing out alone to God or even in tears crying out to my heavenly Father.

Being in school, I quickly get caught up in what needs to be done, the bottom line, the deadline that my eyes aren't searching for open opportunities to share Christ's love. This also goes hand in hand with the Cherished quiet times. I find that my morning walk to class as well as home after class, i'm struck by this awesome view of the pacific ocean. Those have been sweet times of prayer and meditation, though sometimes my mind is occupied with something else that I don't praise God for giving me air to breathe and this beautiful view. It's definitely something that I still cherish and something that I want to make a priority. We'll see how this new year will fare.

If there is a thing of beauty that I'd want to be known for (like J.Lo is known for her very healthy posterior) I'd want to be known for my smile. I've heard that people have smiles that can brighten up whole rooms. A smile can turn someone's day from drab and dreary to bright and sunny. haahaa, I took this test a while a back assessing my ability to spot a fake or real smile. I ended up scoring 17/20. So you better watch out, I know smiles and I can tell when that's a courtesy laugh you're giving. But yeah, I dunno. A smile or a laugh can show true openness and geniuneness (if that's even a word). That's something I'd like to show other people. :) Smiling makes me happy.

I've resolved to learning more about international health. It'd be SOOOOOO awesome to do a product overseas. That would be so awesome. But right now, it would be just as cool to find out how God is working and how I can help here in the U.S. whether by prayer or otherwise. If anyone is in the Healthcare field (if you're a student or professional) what do you think of taking a short trip this coming summer somewhere and helping out somewhere? My team leader from the summer asked me to pray and consider leading a team to somewhere in asia (perhaps Big Red) where we can help out with health education, basic hygeine and basic physical exams. If you're interested let me know. Trips like these are AWESOME.

Where are you going?

 
 

Everything is Vanity

So this month, I've resolved to a number of goals. Some are deep and meaningful and some, well, not so meaningful.
1) Read and finish Mountain Rain
2) Study for my kinetics waiver exam.
3) Read and finish The Cost of Discipleship
4) Scrapbook
5) Beautify myself. (i.e. get rid of this excema and acne problem).

I walked into Sephora a couple years back and asked her what is the daily facial care regimen. Here was her answer (and the stuff I use): 1) cleanse [neutrogena rapid clear, oil control foaming cleanser]. 2) Moisturize [ponds dry skin cream, though I usually use clinique dramatically different moisturizing lotion]. 3) Protect [Kiehl's Ultra Protection Waterbased Sunscreen Lotion SPF 25].

That neutrogena rapid clear, oil control faming cleanser is totally awesome. It smells SOOOOOOO good and my face feels cleaner. For the acne problem, I got benzoyl peroxide 2.5%. I learned in class that this stuff really works. If you do decide to use benzoyl peroxide for acne, start low, go slow. This means start with the lowest concentration as not to irritate and start with one application/day to make sure that your skin isn't gonna wig out on you. And for excema the best thing to do is to stop the itch-scratch cycle (which I am a victim of... ::sigh::) so the best tx is Hydrocortisone 1% (i have target brand because target's the best). But only use this tx for about a week otherwise funny stuff's gonna happen. So the lineup is pretty much my daily regimen for this coming break. I just put in the boston contact stuff and tooth care stuff just so the picture looks better, haahaa.

Promises III

Just because I'm in a celebratory spirit.

Boys er... one in particular... :)

Wow this is tough thinking of stuff by myself. If you want a visual essay, THIS pretty much sums it up.

oh ok. I know where to start now.

Why no boys until May? I wanted to focus on enjoying God and finding my home in Him alone. I wanted to enjoy being by myself, thinking for myself and just taking the time to, yeah, spend on non-boy things (whatever those were.. i'm not entirely sure). Yeah the biggest thing was just taking this time to completely abide in Christ and letting Christ abide in me. To learn that the universe doesn't revolve around me nor the boy i have my eye on, but the sovereign, powerful God that created that boy.

I remember thinking, if someone does pursue, I would say: "You don't want to date me. I'm a total mess. You don't think so now, just wait a month, then you'll be subject to the writhing violence that is Roz. I'm just going to burden you with emotion and drive you away."

That's what I WOULD have said, until this guy came along. In a span of 10 weeks David started from a guy standing behind a table for Sonrise at the Student Organization Fair to this guy I'm totally attracted to who happens to be attracted to me! (and we're dating now, totally awesome).

It was all the "me, too," "are you kidding me?" "OH MY GOODNESS," "are you SERIOUS" moments that made things come together, Not to mention strolls in the Park, productive studying, huge amounts of self disclosure, and meaningful conversations over dinner.

so what DID happen to no boys until May? Welp, let's just say I met someone who is as passionate about the Jesus, knowledge/leaning, family and other things as I am (maybe even more). And David made an offer that I wasn't about to pass up. Cool beans. :)

addendumb: I wrote this almost 4 years ago. Thought it'd be interesting to compare.

Promises II

hm... i think i'll deal with #3 at the end.

Material Things

I remember asking Christina to keep me accountable after coming back from China in regards to shopping. For a while before the trip, I found myself buying more than giving. Being stingy with others and generous with myself. And during the trip, I lived on so much less. It's possible to live that much more simply. But then again, I was away in a foreign place focused on something outside of myself.

Am I being legalistic by going through with this self-imposed "shopping fast?" One of the more stinging comments my parents made were "she has a dozen bags. do you need that many bags?" This was when I moved into my apartment.

Dude, I do have too many bags. shoot.

But I dunno, there's a difference between living comfortably and living in decadence. I don't need decadence. I think i need to be mindful of what I'm spending. I remember telling someone that I keep 99% of everything I buy and return 1% of it. So that means I would think before I buy. That's a good start. Maybe I should think harder. Yes, I do like this < article of clothing > and yes I think it's cute. ooo it's on sale. But, do I need it? That's the question of the century.

Tremendously blessed I am, but a good steward am I?

I dunno, Yoda, I dunno.

Promises from the Beginning of the Quarter I

So I made a number of promises (commitments to myself) at the beginning of the quarter:
1) Find a fellowship
2) Find a church
3) No boys until May
4) No shopping until May
5) Maintain the same mindset I did when I was overseas

I've found a fellowship and you can read about it in the archive (forgot the date, but [shameless plug] feel free to peruse.)

Finding A Church

There were a number of recommendations made before I even came to San Francisco which included Sunset Church, Great Exchange Covenant Church (GRX Acts II), and CityChurch San Francisco. Here are my initial reflections of each church

Sunset: It's so much like Bread of Life. Predominantly Chinese, relatively contemporary, very conservative, the congregation is very young. The teaching is solid. Pastor Jeff Louie did his doctorate on Revelation and you can totally tell he loves that subject. Tracy a fellow farm student goes there as well as some other people.

GRX ActsII: The community is so strong. I feel as though I can bring my friends here and it will be a very safe place to share with them what I believe. The worship is amazing, yeah, amazing. I feel as though I can worship uninhibited. The messages are really encouraging. Everytime I go, I'm encouraged of a lesson that I've learned in the past and convicted to further live out that lesson.

CityChurch: Solid, Solid teaching. Totally solid. A lot like the church my sister goes to in Boston. I really really appreciate the quotes included at the beginning of the service packet. They're insightful and cause me to think about the topic of the sermon by bringing a different perspective other than the pastor (who happens to be really solid, but I said that already). I also like the fact that throughout the service, every week, the Gospel is somehow incorporated.

At this point, all 3 churches are totally money. I just need to pick one, settle and start learning, serving and communing.

Which one to pick? I promised everyone that I would decide by the end of the quarter and here I am at the end of the quarter (a couple days past due). I told myself to sit down and to really think about what role the Church plays in my spiritual development. Here are some things:
1) Source of feeding.
2) A place to serve
3) My circle of friends (i.e. community)
4) Meeting a potential spouse. (I know this one isn't as deep as the other ones, but, to be honest, it was actually pretty important. Feel free to wave a red flag if you deem fit).
Here's the Biblical Role of a Church
1) For prayer and support of missionaries (Acts 14:23)
2) To recruit, raise up and train those who will go and make disciples (Acts... like all of it)
3) A place to use our spiritual gifts to build up the Body. (1 Cor. 14)
4) The wisdom of God be made known (Eph 3:10)
5) To serve those in real need. (1 Tim 5)

Actually, all 3 churches possess these qualities.... which I had already established, sorta. So it just comes down to... personal preference. So I'm officially deciding on

::drum roll::

City Church

Why? I've been raised going to a Chinese American church. In college I went to a Chinese American church. I think this time around, I'd like a little diversity. Bring in more perspective and worship with brothers and sisters who are NOT like me and who do NOT have the same upbringing. Perhaps they can encourage me with my faith and I can encourage them. Also, I have a sunday buddy going to City Church.

So there you have it. I'm excited to see what ministry the Lord wants me to serve. :)

Little did I know I would have my first Ghiradelli Sundae on a Sunday (the FIRST Sunday [of the advent season])

This is David Young. My sundae (and Sunday!) buddy. :)

And these are our sundaes. Totally awesome. Dark Chocolate Hot Fudge and Brownie. SOOOOOO GOOOD. And a tip: if you want to eat at ghiradelli square, it closes shop at midnight. If you go at like 10 or 11, the line is a lot shorter and you can actually sit down without waiting in line. Sweet eh?

Still Alive!

Dad, me, mom, Jeh, "the husband." 
 

Are you drinking 1% 'cause you think you're fat?

I just spent the past hour and a half reading my peers' stories on how they got together, how they got engaged and how they got married. Crazy.

This calendar year started out with Sean and Emily (January) and I believe it is ending with Renee and Tony (tomorrow), with a couple couples (Greg/Suz, Jas/Abby) in between, a couple before and a couple coming after (maybe).

Coming off of that, there are people starting to date up the wazoo. I can't list them all because it's seriously too many to count.

I think it's this age group. People are starting to get serious about settling down. I wonder if God ever planned it this way. That the 20's would be the time when hormones rage, guys starting "getting to know" that special person and girls overanalyze that guy they have their eye on.

Haahaa... I just wondered what the pathophysiology of "falling in love" was. (not to say that it's a disease or has a specific etiology. well...it would be if Paul's description of it as "burning." [1 Cor 7] Burns have a pathophysiology. i think i've been studying for my clinical pharmacy final for too long).

I digress.

God is sovereign. God is a provider. I must be molded to the plan that He has in store, no matter if it's in marriage or in singleness. I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and the topic of contentment came up. I was having another conversation with my roomate and the topic of letting go came up. I think God is trying to teach me something.

Matthew 6:25-34. DO NOT WORRY.

Along the same vein, today a monster came out of me that reminded me why I am in need of so much grace. It usually comes out once a month for a couple days and then goes back into hibernation. It's the worst and it's something in me that I HATE. It's a time when the monster rears it's ugly face that test those around me as well as myself. It starts with a slight obsession. Something consumes my thoughts. Then it is precipitated into action (whatever that action may be) and it takes away from the immediate task that I SHOULD be focusing on. And then the disappointment and frustration come from either unmet expectation or feeling of personal failure. Then comes the emotional outburst usually anger or impatience that lash out like tentacles and sting those around me. Then something brings me back down and I wonder...what happened. This overwhelming sadness befalls my psyche and I pray to God for forgiveness.

This is a monthly (but not only) reminder of how much I need the redemptive sacrifice of Christ.

But why, oh why, if I'm saved that I'm not liberated from the talons of this dreaded beast living inside of me? God, please, slay this monster inside me.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (1 Cor. 12:9-10)

Sufficient. Perfect. Power. Delight. Strong.

Home

Family is definitely so important and I'm SOOOOOOO GLAD that I didn't stay in The City to study for finals. It's nice to come home and
-hear/speak mandarin
-see my dad, mom, sister and brother-in-law (who flew in all the way from Boston!)
-have my mother ask questions about boys and give me pointers on beautification techniques that i'm too lazy to follow through with
-eat home marinated eggs, bean curd and sliced roast beef with my fingers
-drive
-sit on a toilet that DOESN'T have a cushiony seat
-fall asleep on our 20 year old couch where all the lumps are in the right places
-talk to my dad about matters of church and the implications of defining the church as family
-take a shower where the water gets hot instantly and the water pressure is always perfect

It's the start of the season where I get all reminiscent and reflective about how this past year has been. But, right now, there is this little boy that's following me around making shooting noises. I have no choice but to take evasive maneuvers.

Aha! Moment

I just had an Aha! Moment in class today. We were talking about the hydrophhobic effect and drug behavior as it relates to phase partitioning of octanol and water. This has major implications in the solubility of a drug when you take it orally. The aha! moment came because I had learned this application during my biopharmaceutics class when we were learning about what makes a drug, druggable and the major issue was solubility and whether or not the drug can get into solution in the gut and if it can be absorbed easily.

Anyway, sorry about the technical language.
I wanted to share about something else, but I forgot. Oh well, if it's important it'll come back.

::teaser::
What do you look for in a Church (say if you're moving to a new place)? Is it the community? Is it the teaching?
::end teaser::

GOING HOME FOR THANKSGIVING!!! EEEEEEEEEE!

Girltalk

Men, this post is not for you.

Women, I found this REALLY cool blog (written by CJ Mahaney's wife and daughters). Thanks, Karen for the link. :)

It's Femininely titled Girltalk

But it gives an interesting perspective on women in Christianity.

Oh here's a story for you. So I call my dad today thinking he was in LA (At home) being himself. Here's the conversation that ensues:
Roz: Hi Dad, what are you doing?
Dad: I'm in New York City right now.
Roz: WHAT THE HECK? What are you doing in New York City?
Dad: I needed 5000 miles to make 1K for United, so I decided to take a trip here.
Roz: WHAT THE HECK? Why are you in New York City? You should have flied to Boston to visit Jeh and DJ.
Dad: Yeah, but I wanted to see the WTC (world trade center) and I've never been here. I'm thinking about taking mom sometime.
Roz: Oh, ok. When did you get there?
Dad: This morning.
Roz: When are you leaving?
Dad: Tomorrow at 7am.
Roz: ok...How much was your ticket?
Dad: oh, about $400
Roz: When'd you book your ticket?
Dad: About 2 weeks ago? After this, I'll get 3 upgrade vouchers. For $400, (this ticket) we can upgrade to $5000 (business class) tickets on our next family trip. That's a 10-fold return on $400!
Roz: How did you get time off?
Dad: Today was my day off.
[my dad works 9 hour days and gets every other friday off]
Dad (again): I was thinking, Hawaii tickets are only $293. Do you and mom want to go to Hawaii this winter?
< end pertinent conversation >

I'm thinking, dude, my dad is wu liao and my mom needs to come home now. He came back from a vacation overseas weeks ago. That means, the day he got back, he booked tickets to New York City. WHAT THE HECK? I'm not complaining or anything, in fact I think it's really cool, but dang, my parents are superactive. I hope they stay that way.

Reading Material

It's been a BEAUTIFUL week, weatherwise. I wish I had my camera, then I'd show you.

But here is an article I found in the Chronicle about missions and the "Church" in that big red closed country across the pacific ocean. (mad props to David Young who found it online)

China tries to keep the flock in official churches
Government favors party-run version of Christian faiths

In other news: Roz is now a fully licensed intern pharmacist in the great state of California. Watchout, world. I have arrived.

Shameless Plug:
DOES ANYONE WANT TO GO TO YOSEMITE THIS WINTER?
Dec. 20-23
We'll be staying in the heated tent cabins of Curry Village in Yosemite Valley.
Cost: $64/person for lodging.
Transportation will be provided from BOTH Southern California AND Northern California
let me know if you're down.

Roll call starting from me in the billabong sweatshirt in the back going clockwise: Roz, Kathy, Jen, Gina, Marcus, Dave Lee, Dave Peng, Judy, Lily, Nardine, Aiyin, Kate, Tracy, Winnie, Dave Young (at the apex), Rich, Lara, Nike, Heather, Phil, Grace, Danielle, Shelly, Aileen and Tina. Ken is the photographer.

Such a good weekend

My week started out a little rocky. But I couldn't have asked for a better ending. Thanks God. :)

I went to see Chris Tomlin/Matt Redman/Louie Giglio on Thursday Night. I didn't go with SFCers because the tickets sold out before we were able to get them, but someone from my fellowship at school had extra tickets, so I jumped on the chance. It wasn't a concert. It was a praise service. The one thing I got out of it was how GREAT and INDESCRIBABLE our God is. It was really cool, during the "intermission" there were Bible verses that flashed up. It was a really good time of fellowship and meditation (because I saw Vivian, Salina, Andrew Chau, Alex Cheung and Sharon TQ). But going along with the theme, the message was how small we are, but at the same time Jesus shed all that greatness and power to die for those who are utterly insignificant in His creation. How often do we turn away and "cheat" on our creator with other things (like money, relationships, self) but still God is there, he loved us and knows every hair on our head and our number of days. That's indescribable.

But the fun doesn't stop here. I went on a fall retreat with my fellowship at school and fellowship immediately followed. For the first time in a long time, I got to lead worship, jam with brothers and sisters, play apples to apples, laugh, pray and bond with sisters during small group time.

On the 2nd day of our retreat, we hiked to the beach and had lunch and worship there.

On our first day, our game was a photo scavenger hunt and one of our tasks was to find a heart because the theme of the weekend was "Heart Healthy." This is what we found.

Our last activity was to play "the game." I think it's a stanford thing (so obviously my first tiem playing). But I had a LOT of fun! We ended up driving all around the city looking for clues and they ended up at the most beautiful places. One of our last clues took us to Cliff House at sunset.

This retreat was the first time I ever played guitar on a beach. Actually my first time ever leading worship for this group of people. I love hearing everyone sing and being in a position where I can ear everyone so clearly, it's so beautiful. :)

I've decided to pledge the professional fraternity Phi Delta Chi. Just to get to know my classmates, and a lot of friends from fellowship are pledging, too so it'll be another big fun party.

B'yeah, I knew San Francisco was a beautiful city, but this weekend just reinforced that. I visited Marin, Vista Point, Golden Gate Bridge, Palace of Fine Arts, Crissy Field, Sutro Baths, Cliff House and Ocean Beach. And I get to call this city home for the next couple of years.

It was a good weekend. Thanks God. :)

Growing UP

I decided against studying today as the long weekend is coming up. I'm choosing to relax. So the default thing to do now is to watch TV. I turn to the channel that's most interesting: MTV. Lo and behold, TRL is on. For you kids who don't know what TRL is, it's Total Request Live. Apparently what all the cool kids watch. I used to watch it almost religiously in high school when Carson Daly was still the hottest VJ eVaR~!

Now I'm watching and I realize, oh my goodness. The target demographic of TRL is for younger folk who write angsty poetry in their journals and yearn after that HOT guy who has the locker right next to them. Granted, I still have a locker (only big enough to hang my white coat, though no hot guy next to me) and write in my journal, but it's for the blooming adolescent struggling with growing up in a cookie cutter world.

I've grown out of this stage or pubescent drama and have moved onto the world of interviews, studying for a doctorate degree, making myself more marketable and trying to make sense of what the Lord has called me to do.

At this point, I can say "Boy, I'm getting old." But no, I WILL NOT BE MOVED. I'm only 22. Granted by age 25, my fertility will be on the decline, but I still have the energy of an 13 year old and am at the age where I can do pretty much anything I want to. I still have dreams, I'm still ideal and I still want to get so much accomplished. I'm NOT getting old. I'm just starting out. That's kind of a cool thought.

And for those of you who don't like to read, here's a picture to entertain you with.
Sarah's "Surprise" Dinner at the Elephant Bar

The Movie List

There are movies I want to watch. Do you want to watch them with me?
Jarhead
The Constant Gardener
Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
In the Mix (It's an Usher movie so guaranteed to be quality)

Job is an amazing person. Just wanted to say that. I just started Job through the daily quiet time yesterday and it warmed my soul. God's timing in teaching and revealing his will is...incomprehensible.

"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."
Job 1:21

Beware of pictures.

I have a midterm tomorrow, but I feel like I need to do this. A collection of things in the past year that have been big trips with the people I love. Therapeutic procrastination, if you will.

For some reason i REALLY like this picture. Taken in North End, Boston while visiting my sister and brother-in-law.

Helping out at my first health fair. Check out all those free samples. (San Mateo, CA)

this is one of the most beautiful sights i've ever seen in person. When I was in china, this is pretty much what we saw every day. Seeing stuff like this makes you want to hum "how GREAT is our God." Thinking about being overseas makes me joyful beyong measure.

This is me. A work in progress. we were on our long layover in Hong Kong and I saw this and thought, "cool." But yeah, i think this accurately describes me pretty well. English, Chinese and a work in progress.

look at how cute these kids are. Yup, i'm so proud of them and i love them so much.

This is my oldest and one of my best friends Jane. We've been through elementary school, jr. high, high school, college, boys, breakups, classes, graduating MCB together. I love you, Jane! :)

there's also something about this picture that I love. I think it's all the movement and yet the victory of samonthrace remains stationary. kind of cool. (Paris, France on a trip with Ms. Allison and Jay)

Go BEARS! I took this with Jay on one of our night shoots when I still had my nikon. I miss shooting with you, Jay and I miss being on campus. It really is a beautiful campus. (Berkeley, CA)

this is the SFC gathering at Venice Beach after Sean and Emily's wedding. Hanging out with these guys makes me also joyful beyond measure.

good times good times. :) Roomate spades anyone? haahaa (Praise Dinner 2004)

This is Christina. If i were a ruler and you were a rock I'd say "you ROCK, christina." and you'd reciprocate with "you RULE, roz" :) (Lake Tahoe, CA)

Older cousins from the Hsu side. sorry, some of them are married, but i know, I have attractive family, you don't have to say it. :) (Redondo Beach, CA)

So yeah this is all that has happened in the past... 1.5 years. It's been good.

community

Midterms never stop. Like seriously, they never stop.

At any rate, I've found a fellowship here on campus: Sonrise Christian Fellowship.

It's a really great community of brothers and sisters all students here having a thirst to study God's word and to know Jesus better.

The first couple of times I've gone, yeah, everyone was really welcoming. That's SO important and I felt like this was a place where I can serve and be challenged in my walk. The really cool thing about it is that we're all students and all working out our faith with "fear and trembling" in the context of being healthcare providers. Very cool.

Sonrise is pretty much the highlight of my week, every Thursday. :)

Wow

i'll say it again...

wow.

::hilarity::

Walking around the Sunset

This is one of my free saturdays and boy am I thankful for it. It was such a nice day yesterday that I decided to walk around the Sunset District with my handy camera. First stop: the pumpkin patch. So many little kids, made me want to take one home with me and bake cheesecake for them.

It's that time of year again. And in a week, they'll be selling Christmas trees in the lot across the street.

This was the first Saturday I could just explore without a schedule or concrete plans. I went to a neighborhood garden, shopped a little at the recycled clothing store (resisted buying anything! one small step for roz, one huge step for roz's self control), and stopped into a salon to ask how much for a haircut.


And it was such a beautiful day, i decided, why not just hop on the N and ride down to Ocean beach?

I would never be able to live in the midwest. There's something about living within 1/2hour of a very large body of salt water that is so soothing. I dunno, I relish in the fact that I can see the sunset and be able to feel sand between my toes and knowing that being out in the sun could give me cancer, but I go anyway. And they have SAND DOLLARS at ocean beach! All in all, it was a good day :)

an extra 3500 calories

due to a sedentary lifestyle and just constantly eating while studying, i've gained 6lbs in the past 2 weeks. It's harder to resist food.

Don't these look so good?
People who know me well know that I have an intense fear of double chins. I'm intensely afraid that I'll get one. I'm noticing the sizeable belly and butt that's accumulating on my frame. But still...food is hard to resist, especially cheezits, doritos, cheese, cereal, bean curd and noodles late at night. I tend to be more of a salty person than a sweet person. (don't be surprised if i have to get on one of those antihypertensives in the next few years).

THAT cooked up real nice would taste so good.

I've also noticed a significant increase in the number of pimples on my forehead. My face has become oilier than usual.

Funny that I start caring about these things now. I used to not care because they were never an issue. Now i do.

There're a lot of thoughts swimming around in this bowl of noodles of mine. Most of them are all about how insufficient and powerless I am. But in an instant, like in the elevator today, I thought about the Lord. I may be insufficient, disorganized, absentminded, weak, quiet, imperfect, flawed but God is not. He is sufficient, organized, omnipresent, strong and perfect. And because of that, I can smile, laugh and live.

Dang.

I was xanga stalking today and found THIS.

Totally threw me for a loop. You think that Christian romance books are warm and fuzzy (though i've never read one, just heard that they were). God has a heart for the nations and has a plan for those who actively seek after Him and His heart. There's something about answered prayer and stories about God (even if it's not about relationships although those are nice) that encourage me so much.

"So do nor fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

I am SUPER NIKE WOMEN'S MARATHON MAN running for leukemia, lymphoma and hodgkin's disease! FEAR my RUNNING SHOES, FOIL CAPE and LASER STARE! [kindly sponsored by SFPD]

Procrastination reigns

here's what i did this weekend:
1) took a midterm
2) said goodbye to theron and shirley
3) caught up with sfc-folk, i love you guys.
4) wished katie a happy birthday
5) studied
6) got free stuff at a health fair (along with a krispy kreme donut, noah's bagel and a bottle of costco water)
7) had lydia come over and i got to practice my derm knowledge on her. (::warning hipaa violation::) It was atopic dermatitis.
8) saw mr. jeff wang finish a 26.2 mile marathon. congrats, you da man and no you DON'T run like a girl.
9) studied
10) GRX. it's starting to grow on me. every time i go, i'm so encouraged by the worship and the message. i'm all in. are you?
11) Met friends of a friend at Sunset who just got married a few months ago.
12) discovered (to my dismay) that my $20 abercrombie pants are now getting tight.

revelation: things may look good on paper, but you actually have to try it out to see if it fits. (apply liberally to different areas of life, prn [as needed])

Have a good week, everyone, and remember to try some pumpkin pie.

Let Go

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matt 6:19-21

"The Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake shall find it." Matt 16:24-25

"If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." Matthew 19:21

"Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them; for they all out of their surplus put into the offering; but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on." Luke 21:3-4

"So then let no one boast in men. For all things belong to you, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or things present or things to come; all things belong to you, and you belong to Christ; and Christ belongs to God." 1 Corinthians 3:21-23

"But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them rubbish in order that i may gain Christ." Philippians 3:7-8

"For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either." 1 Timothy 6:7

"Now flee from youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22

"Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your misteries which are coming upon you. Your riches have rotted and your garments have become moth eaten...It is in the last days that you have stored up your treasure!" James 1-2, 4

I hold onto things too tightly. Freshman year in college a good friend challenged me with this statement: "If God took away the things most important to you, would you still be content in Him alone?" I couldn't answer him then and I still can't answer him now. There are so many things where I improperly put my heart: relationships, grades/school, shopping. A significant other, fiance, boyfriend or husband will die and I won't be buried with him. After I get out of school, grades will just be a letter on a piece of paper. Clothing, accessories, gadgets will break, tear and deteriorate with time. Perhaps I will never completely learn the fullness of this lesson, but it is so important. It's not just about being content with the things I have but realizing that all these good gifts come from the Father. Who is the INFINITE source of goodness, righteousness, holiness and love. Contentment and realization should lead to sacrifical giving. Instead of loving that special boy, sacrificially love everyone, especially the unlovable. Instead of buying that next purse or cute shirt, give that money to the church or sponsor a child. Don't blow off a friend because you need to study, that's just lame. This isn't advice for you (reader of blog), but reminders for me because I DON'T do these things and there are times when my heart DOESN'T feel like this. Almost EVERY fiber of my being wants to chase after that special boy, that 4.0, that really cute outfit.

And so the struggle continues. And it starts in the psyche. Where are my thoughts? Do I meditate on the promises of God or do I daydream about that dream wedding, or fat raise and nice car?

It's been a long day, but a good one. To everyone who isn't feeling well: Get better soon! May God bless your immune system that you'll be up and about. :)

Pharmacists, the other white coat...

We're like pork, the other white meat. We're not like chickens, but we sure bring home the bacon.

Check out the professional wear

they turned down the lights. It was very soothing, almost TOO soothing.

the parental units.

and Jen, my wonderful advisor! :)

In other news THIS is an interesting treatment of that fence we like to teeter on called the DTR.