Nostalgia

Last night in the apartment. It's a little late. I'm getting a little sentimental.
Here are some fun memories...

Mr. Jeff's name card and his own personal desk to study on.
Too much lovin' on the looooove couch
"I'm singin in the rain, just singin' in the rain, what a wonderful feelin'.."
Watching friends season 1, 2 and 4 over and over again
Prayer meeting
Jelly filled cakes
cheesecake
cha jiang myun
swimming in a freezing cold swimming pool
russell peters
the loud breathing
SURPRISE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY~! (Christina's 21st, my 22nd)
Small Group :) (i love you guys and i'm gonna miss our small group)
dumpling/sushi night
"hello? (feeble voice)" "It's 8:45, ready by 8:55?"
Real simple subscriptions
Crafts
Free furniture
"Hello it's the manager. It's a Sunday night (at 8:45), can you please keep it down."
Hair in the drain
Falling asleep (and drooling) on the couch. haahaa too bad for the guy who took it.
"Excuse me, I'm really gassy."
Not being able to sleep by myself. Always need someone there.
Messiness, and purging of papers after a major final.
the snooze
Jacob and Eric scaring us girls while we were playing guitar and singing.
"going upstairs, i'll be right back."
im-ing each other while in the same room, and laughing outloud and on aim.
literati
many visitors
SuperFreak on the kitchen table
Wet swiffer and Scrubby bubbles
"Where's the dongle?"
SlabIII
The etched jars of salt, corn starch and rice.
music almost constantly playing.
people coming to hang out just for the heck of it and staying late
moving from the other apt to here.
driving directly from here to oases, thanks eric.
Zhongjie BBQing.
exercise ball. always a conversation starter, chock full of demonstrations.
Friends 6:30-7:30
Elaine, Eric, Jacob upstairs, Jess Ing, Clara, Jay, Lou, Sean behind us.
"Hey can you let me in?"
Breaking in because I didn't want to pay $5 and i forgot my key. Thanks guys for the fork.
calendars EVERYWHERE!
Lantern making before praise dinner

I'm going to miss this place...

Graduation

So my graduation is tomorrow. I haven't given it much thought. I haven't given anything much thought these past couple of weeks.

Berkeley has become a familiar place. Almost home. People, faces that have been every day sights will now be gone and I'll have to adjust to a new world that is pharmacy school and san francisco.

These past few weeks have been tough. I'm trying to keep back the tears as I write this, but you know how it goes, I do cry a lot. And i'm tired. I tend to be more moody when I'm tired.

In these past four years, people have come and gone. I've made bad decisions and good decisions. I wish I could have invested more time in people, built deeper friendships instead of squeezing in that last hour or so of studying because that doesn't do anything. I've been the happiest I've ever been, I've been the lowest I've ever been and I've been hurt the deepest.

With everything that's going on, I can't help but wonder what God really has planned. This past week, I've been clinging on to the promises of Love and Security because it brings the most comfort to someone who feels broken. I've been humbled to the point where I feel so week, there's nothing I can do and only Christ Jesus can give me the strength to get out of bed every morning, get dressed and go be a functioning part of society.

There are so many memories attached to this place, I don't want to leave. But that's life. Things change. People change. I've changed.

I cling onto this Unchanging God that we sing about. Every day, I wake up in the morning with thoughts and fears, but somehow God uses these to draw me closer to Himself.

When you feel weak, and you feel worthless, like a little worm that can be squished, know that there is this Ultimate God who's going to protect you who loves you.

I will cherish the people in this time/place, but at the same time, I have to force myself to look forward. Let the past lessions be a guide. Anxiety comes with thinking about the future, but I found myself while going to the City to look for a place to live an exhilarating sense of excitement and anticipation.

I feel like a reed on the shore. The wind breaks me down, but at the same time, the waters bring sustenance, the sun gives me reason to grow and now, one stem has died off and another is growing. It hurts and I don't know how my new apical meristem is being shaped, but there's something there. Eventually it'll become something that will be blown by the wind, fed by the water and grown by the sun. But my roots will be deeper and I can withstand stronger winds.

I just realized how poetic that is. Sorry to break the mood. But I'm tired and I need to pack. Looking forward to some soul food tomorrow.

Completely Torn
And procrastinating...

This one?

or this one? 

i'm thankful for the opportunity to be able to and have the resources to shop for something like this. when it comes down to it, a decision should be made. its not wise to buy both. but is it wise to even buy one? is it wiser to keep the one i have?

Time and clarity. Taken on the way down to SoCal.

And together... we spell DEBORAH~!: Christina, Me, Christina, Allison (I didn't include the "bow to your sensei" one..haahaahaa)

The SuperFreak: It bloomed for ~3 mo after I got it a couple years ago. After one watering for ~5 min a week, lots and lots of eggshells and 2 pot transplantations, I'm still amazed that it's alive and blooming. 

In recent news:
1) Our manager/apartment admin has been showing our apartment to people. Ever since we turned in our 30-day notice, she's come by every day. Friday was a record, she came by 3 times.
2) Spam sucks. I apparently had some weirdo virus linked to my e-mail so I got like 40 returned e-mails from @ey.com. The only person I know who works at EY is Kitty.
3) My mother is up here for the weekend. It's nice to see her for mother's day 'cause the rest of my family is scattered somewhere in the United States. And my dad can't really celebrate mother's day with my mom 'cause he's her husband. But he calls her "mommy" anyway.

Survey:
1) Do you have a digital camera? If so, what is it?
2) Are you satisfied with the price/performance/look of your digital camera?

I'm shopping for a new digicam. My Nikon has failed me at least 3 times when I've needed it the most. I'm wondering if it is worth it to buy a new digital camera, if i'm wisely spending money. But considering how much I use a camera that doesn't work 100% of the time and takes crappy night pictures, its worth it to get a new one. I dunno. Shopping for a camera is hard. There're so many choices out there, but so much money at stake. But I want to be able to rely on the things I have.

So yesterday night was the first night i was able to successfully (sp?) sleep on my left side without feeling any pain. it was a good night.

It's amazing how God answers prayers. A major prayer request lately has been to realize and be more sensitive to the sin in my life and there's a lot there. God has sent people and His word to point out the faith that I lack and the grace that motivates me to get better. It's amazing how easily one can replace something or someone with God. But nothing is as true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable than one's security and conviction through the Jesus Christ.

this is from praise dinner.

this is the skit.

this is us.. smiling. jay has a much better (i.e.photoshopped) picture. have a nice day everyone. 

Finishing Well
I've lost all motivation to go to class, unless there's something due. Hence the blogging while my genetics professor uses the words "cute" and "sexy" to describe flies, worms, bees and their corresponding experiments.

But it's all about finishing well.
Believe me I'd much rather be rollin' down the street sippin' on gin and juice (figuratively), but now is finals time. My last finals at Cal, I should go out with a bang. As Mariah Carey would say in her unusually bland new release "Cuz it's my night/ No stress, no fights/I'm leavin it all behind/No tears, no time to cry/Just makin the most of life"

So I invite you to come, study with me. I promise I won't bite you.

Tuesday: VLSB Bioscience Library 2nd Floor Left cubicles 8-11
Wednesday: no studying, prayer meeting.
Thursday: Optometry Library, Minor Hall 2-7, VLSB Bioscience Library 8-11
Friday: Optometry Library, Minor Hall 2-5 (SFC at 7:30)
Saturday: PM, Optometry Library