It's about 4 in the morning. Why am I up? Have no idea why...
but it's wednesday morning at 4. this means only one thing.. i'm going home in less than 24 hours. looked forward to this day so much... get to go home home.
You know.. i feel like i'm still in high school... like i'm still 16 or something because it feels as if none of my emotions have changed... my motives for doing things are still as selfish as they were 2 years ago.. and i'm still as immature as i was then. But you think... isn't college supposed to be a time of maturing? Perhaps. I'm never aware of times of growth unless i look back and say.. i was so immature what was i thinking.. like when i was 12.. i criticized myself when i was 7 'cause i did this stupid embarassing dance in front of this guy i liked.. anyway that's in the past. Now i think back to when i was 16.. there are some things i regret.. but a lot of the things, i just reason saying it's just me trying to be young. There's nothing wrong with being young 'cause when you're 30 people will think you're in your early twenties. I just don't know... if my actions reflect those of a teenage high school girl.. then what about my Spiritual Walk with God? what about my emotional and academic growth? Some things to ponder over at 4 in the morning as i prepare to go home.. dunno why.. i'm not even packing. Pack tomorrow.. not going to class.. most of them are cancelled anyway. tomorrow.tomorrow i'l loveyou tomorrow. it's only a day away.