Have you ever wondered how expendable you were? I wonder how important I am... if i disappeared one day, would people come and get me? Life would go on if I died, and in the big picture, I don't really matter. Have you ever felt like that? I wish i could do something for the masses to remember me, but that's just superficial appreciation or just seeking negative attention which isn't healthy.. I know i should base my identity and everything on the fact that I'm God's child and that I have eternal life and by that, i am free and i matter, but it's hard not to hold people's opinions of you high you know? I guess you don't have to do something and get the mob to worship you or just at least remember your name, but you know.. i dunno.. actually I wouldn't really want to have a bad reputation, but to have EVERYONE i dunno that'd be hard. Yeah i remember a lot of my teachers didn't know me very well 'cause i didn't talk that much. Do i still not talk much? probably. Haahaa it's was sorta funny.. for the longest time my uncle didn't think i could talk until one day when i was five i talked and he was like.. wow she can talk. Weird huh? I guess it depends on who's present.. i'll be more or less talkative. and when i'm comfortable, i can be stupid and crazy and sometimes i get embarassed easily, but sometimes i don't. it depends... is that the same for you? kind of in the mood for some cup noodles. I was gonna run today, but it hailed and i dunno.. i feel like some cup noodles. :P My sweater duster smelled like food, but some sprays of bath and body works anti bac helped, but then it would be better to actually wash it, but it's new.. i was just stupid and took it to aculpoco and ordered the skillet with spattering oil and STEAK. man i miss steak. anyway back to the insignificant thing. I think... how significant am i? For a while, i wondered if i just stopped coming to church, would people notice i wasn't there? i guess that's the mindset of a visitor, or a really lazy person who just doesn't really wanna take the initiative and talk to people. Partially why i don't talk is because when approached... sometiems i can't really find somehting to say or a question to ask and if i say something there's this fear that what i'm saying makes no sense which has happened to me.. or someone has laughed at me which has happened or my conversation topic dies which makes me feel stupid. Hm... looks like oversensitivity to me. Welcome to my brain.