Mid-20s

It's been more than a few weeks since my birthday, but I wanted to blog about turning 25.

There's this friends episode where Rachel is lamenting her situation as she turns 30 and Tag makes this comment: "I totally know how you feel, Rachel. I'm so freaked out about turning 25."

Rachel retorts with, "ok, get out."

I just thought that was pretty relevant because I just turned 25 and was thinking a lot about aging and birthdays.

Last year, I promised myself that this would be the best year ever and it actually turned out true. My 24th was the best year of my life I can say with a lot of confidence. Why? I think it was because it followed a couple miserable years and the contrast made this year so much sweeter. My relationship with my parents, my friends and above all, with God has changed. My default mood has been joyful and it just kind of feeds on itself.

I can now rent a car.

But the prospect of ever deteriorating fertility is this cloud looming over my head. Of course I dream of getting married and having kids, but I have to realize that it's all in God's timing. To be honest, I think about the perfect engagement, the perfect wedding cake and the perfect invitation for the least amount of money. I suppose girls think about that stuff, but I've learned that all of that is overshadowed by living in the present and enjoying the company and relationship I have now.

I can't worry about tomorrow for today has enough worries for itself. Today's worries include how and when I'm going to exercise, how I'm going to cook my Alfredo and egg noodles for lunch and what time I need to take the CalTrain. I gotta say, those aren't even worries at all. And i'm so thankful for the fact that God has been so good to me this past year.