Praise: Praise God, got into math class.
but in the big scheme of things, this doesn't matter. do you know how i learned? My grandmother passed away. She was a christian so she's now with the Lord. It took trauma like that to learn, for God to teach me that in the big scheme of things, math doesn't matter.
I loved nai nai (that's grandmother on the dad's side in mandarin). When I was little, we'd go to her and Yeh Yeh's apartment and she made us Red bean bao. From scratch and wheat bread and it tasted so good. And yeah her laugh and smile was really cool. But one thing that struck me was at Yeh Yeh's funeral... on the way there, she didn't cry, but once she hugged someone, her lip quivered and she whimpered and right then and there you could see that she really loved him. They had a good marriage. She was a really strong person. Stubbourn at times, but she was a really strong person. She wouldn't complain when she broke her hip. She's self reliant and a godly woman. Her parkinsens' (however you spell it) got to her, but I always thought it'll be ok. She'll always be able to remember. When we went to her place, there would be a spark or recognition and her facial features would soften into a smile, but as it progressed, she remembered nothing. She couldn't walk, couldn't talk too well and her hands shook. I would say "Nai Nai hao" And she would ask who I was. She didn't even remember my dad. I found out on friday and though we were preparing for it, in the whole math/away from home thing.. it came as a shock and last friday i coudln't go a few hours without crying. I was being selfish for everything to work out fine, for things to be perfect for me. I know now that it's not so and God has his own plan. God took my grandmother home where she can be whole again. She can walk she can talk and she's with my grandmother and she can remember. I think when a Child of God dies, it's those who are still on earth who are sad.. because it's a loss and we loved that person very much. It kind of just showed me that I was putting God in a box, praying and kind of expecting that he would settle my schedule my way. Now, i understand and know God a little more. From the depths we cry out and that is when God reaches down and comforts us. Not because we deserve it, not because we're these superior beings that can be humored, but because he loves us and because through this He will be glorified, through this his children will learn what kind of a father he is. When these things happen, we also find out what kind of brothers and sisters we have and I've been blessed with brothers and sisters who mirror Christ's love and I'm so thankful. So here I am writing this on a wednesday night, flying home tomorrow being at peace with all that God has given me. Through that, I find great joy and peace.