Weight

Weight is a sensitive subject when it comes to girls.

In the past 3 months or so, I've lost 15 odd pounds. Thankfully, I've gained 2 of it back... yay.

But a part of me doesn't want to gain the weight back.

Why?

Because I'm scared boys won't like me if I get fat.

There are 2 views on my weight:
Me: I'm good like this. I like being this shape and size and I'm ugly if I gain more weight.
Family and Friends: I don't look good like this. I need to gain more weight, in fact, I'll look better if I gain more weight.

Here's the distortion:
My BMI is borderline underweight/normal.

From what I've gathered from the male population, thin is good. Boys are attracted to small girls. Here are some quotes from guys I know:
"The smaller the better"
"Size 0 is good, don't change."
"Size matters"
"I want to date someone thin."

I care too much about what people.... no scratch that. I care too much about what boys think of me.

I used to not care about my weight. I used to eat all you can eat hot pot without worries that I'm going to gain weight or that boys will think i'm unattractive.

Boys are stupid. Lets throw rocks at them.

I relish in the day when I'm not paranoid about gaining weight and not fearing that I'm ugly if I gain weight. That my worth is not contingent on how much I weigh or what boys think of my body shape.

I want to be content