what day is it today?
Here I am.. once again. it's too early in the morning to put something understandable here so here's my best shot. if the internet was taken away from me would i be sad? no, because then i can go and make friends in the real world. form real relationships with real peopel rather than staring blankly at a 2 dimensional screen. if all my belongings were taken away from me would i be sad? if they were given to someone who needs it. if they weren't.. i guess not. because it's a chance for me to live simply. to fully and completely rely on the Almighty to be my provider. If my mental capacity were taken away from me would i be sad? i think i would be, but it has been a source of pride and sin in my life. like the Bible says, if it causes you to stumble, gauge it out, cut it off. am i willing to do that with what i have now? you know...someone brought up something really good at school. on the way out of class we were talking about taking up our cross and our roles as Christians on the campus and this is what he said. If we were members of the early church we would probably be lukewarm. what is lukewarm to God? and this guy is ON FIRE for Christ. ANd come to think of it... those in the early church Worshipped God with all their soul all their mind all their might and it kind of bothers me that we don't have this absolute surrender to Christ. Should we be put through the same persecution, to be killed and mutilated for our faith? THat's the kind of sacrifice that the early church made and God blessed them so much and see now Christianity what kind of influence it has on earth. How many people are worshipping God... how many brothners and sisters we have. To be honest, i have no idea what it means to take up my cross daily and follow Jesus.
aiya i'm sorry so long winded. you know.. all of this has flowed from my mind to my fingers and it's all come out... i wonder if i had said these things to someone or been able to put these into words in my mouth, if it would be any different. it wouldn't be more understandable.
"May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You"
I learned that worrying is sinning.
I'm damned to hell because I worry, but because God loves me and because of the redemptive power of Jesus Sacrifice and atonement for my and a lot of other people's sins, I am free from worry. though i do what i don't want to do and don't do what i want to do.. nevertheless.. i'm free from what i don't want to do and it's just my earthly sinful flesh doing what i don't want to do. so God, almighty Father, change me, mold me and make me into your vessel to be filled with your Spirit, going out and being a quality vessel doing your work.