Blue Like Jazz

I guess I have a lot to say considering I updated about 12 hrs ago.

But on the plane ride to and fro NY, I started and finished Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. Yes, I'm still working on Anna Karenina and Confessions. But I borrowed the book for spring break (THANKS JEN!!) and thought I should read it. It reads a lot like a blog. But the book is interesting in that it is written from life in the first person. It's unexpectedly candid and he is very real and honest about his faith. This book is the manifestation of Phil 2:12. Donald Miller continues to work out his salvation with fear and trembling and its very apparent in his book.

Something that I don't exactly agree with is his description of is salvation as being "Christian Spirituality" and comparing it to the negatively connoted "Christianity" and "Fundamentalism." I think it is still possible to be a fundamentalist christian and still have liberal ideas about social justice and politics. I dunno, it's just me. As some people would describe me as a "utopian idealist."

Gosh... that was dang academic. I think it's a good read. God works in subtle ways in the U.S. and this book is a testament to it.

What else was I going to talk about?

oh yeah,

So I AM going to try this reading one non science book a quarter thing. Even though therapeutics (the ugly monster that will probably be my profession in the next 5 years) I still want to be well rounded and experience everything from art to literature to good music. BTW, Duncan Shiek is playing at the independent in April. Anyone want to come with me?

OH YEAH, i wanted to talk about goals this quarter...

It's the year of the pig and I just turned 24. Excuse me if this sounds self absorbed, but this is going to be MY YEAR. Yes, that's right. So prepare, people. I actually always wanted to say that and no I have nothing interesting to follow it up with. oh well. Goes to show how deep I am. :P

WHEN YOU CAME?!

Travellers:
Aileen
Christina
Julie
Roz
Winnie

Tourguide:
Joe Cheng(od)

Restaurants:
Spice
Cafe Habana
Afghan House
Gray's Papaya
Il Something Trattoria
Burmese House
Pommes Frites
So-lang Tang (in NY K-town)
Squisito Pizza
Hot Dog Stand
Nuts4Nuts
Empenada Mama's
Yeah! Shanghai (xiao long bao.. makes me want to say.. PEACE OUT, A TOWN!)

Desserts:
Cafe Lola
Serendipity 3
Max Benner's Chocolates
Rice to Riches
Lindt Store
M&M Store

Attractions:
Rent on Broadway
Times Square
Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island
East Villiage
Chinatown
Watching a street fight
Ground Zero
SHOPPING!!!
Guggenheim
the Met
J. Lo, her booty and her emaciated husband

Bars/Clubs:
Crocodile Lounge
Club Duvet
Bar 13
230 5th Ave

I <3
N Y

All my bags are packed

and i'm ready to go...

GOING TO NEW YORK CITY FOR SPRING BREAK!!!!!

::dance, dance::

OMG, I'M BEYOND EXCITED! :)

oh my goodness... i can't believe I'm spending my birthday in the Big Apple. OMG, I'm SOOOOOOOOOOO excited. :)

Listen

You're calling me to lay aside the worries of my day
To quiet down my busy mind and finding a hiding place
Worthy, you are Worthy

I crave God's voice. I hear so many other voices in my head that God's voice has become almost silent and it saddens me. Unashamed Love is a song that I can sing from my heart because I get caught up so easily with my busy mind. A vortex of swirling thoughts that are sometimes false, sometimes negative and sometimes not a clear perception of reality.

The thing is.... i've come to the point where I don't trust ANY of my thoughts. I don't trust my judgment, I don't trust my decision-making skills. It's almost like learning to think all over again.

This just means that I need to be more vigilant in filling my thoughts with words of God and really being able lay aside the worries of my day. Being secure in knowing that the Cross is all I need for security, for worth. At City Church we've been studying Galatians and the point of it was that Paul was trying to make it a point that our spiritual lives started in the Spirit, it shouldn't end in the flesh (Gal. 3) That my salvation is not Christ + something but Christ alone. In Christ alone my hope is found.

Anyway, I've procrastinated long enough. I should actually listen to myself and start studying right now. :P

Mango

I found my future dog. If no one adopts her, I will.
Meet Mango. She's from the Rocket Dog Rescue Adoption agency from SF. She's 20-25 pounds and about 1.5 years old. Look at those eyes. Look at her ears.
I love her and I want to take her home with me. This is my outlet of procrastination 'cause I can't study for more than 30 min at a time... and my eyes are getting increasingly worse. But isn't she sweet?

We have the same temperament, and she's even from TAIWAN! ^_^

::sigh:: if only I had the time to take care of a dog.

She's completely house broken, too!!
Maybe I can teach her how to follow mandarin commands so we can be chinese together, like my old dog Lili.

And mango. I love that name. It's so cute.


In other news, I've fallen in love with Dmitry Shostakovich. Heard a piano concerto and a symphony and I was hooked. No more of this prodigy Mozart Classical stuff anymore. I've moved on to the brooding Russian composers like Shostakovich, Dvorak and Rachmaninov. My String Quartet Concertos is coming in the mail. SCORE!! Just in time for finals. :)

Highlighter Rant

Being a student, highlighters are very important to me. Since for as long as I can remember, I've been on a quest to search for the best highlighter. Alas, to no avail, I've found only failures in the field of highlighting.

::sigh::

Know any good highlighter brands?

Catalyst

Sometimes I ask myself, how come I didn't discover this sooner?
It usually applies to positive things like a fantastic study venue, a good hole-in-the-wall restaurant or even better...a good group of friends.
After a year of pharmacy school, we needed the perfect catalyst to bring us all together. It was good for all of us. Good in different ways, but it's something that I'm not about to let go of. I love you guys. Hope we can hang out soon. :)

In other news, my psuedo Lent abandonment is studying at places where it costs money to purchase a caffeinated beverage. Why is it pseudo? 'cause there's no real spiritual reason why I've given up studying at cafes, only financial. It just happens to coincide with the Lenten season. so spiritual, i know. So i've been studying at home and in the library. Saves a LOT of money. For a student on loans, that helps.

This next weekend will be perfect to go to the snow. I went last weekend and the powder was thigh deep in some areas but driving down was a bear. Snow, sleet, wind and going at an average of 3mph. Not fun when you're ischemic in the uterus. But since the weather's been good, there'll be a break in the blizzarding and Tahoe will be perfect for those of you seeking excitement on pillows of white powder. Falling couldn't be more fun.

An update on going abroad this summer. I decided about 6 months ago that I'm going overseas. Where? I don't know. I'm praying for a partner to go with me to South Asia (i don't want to go alone for safety reasons.... and it'll be nice to have company to serve with). I do.... I have a special heart for people who don't live in the luxury I have hear and I've always yearned to live more simply, to be exposed to what injustice is and to somehow help to stop it. The more I think about going abroad, the more excited I get, even though I don't know where the Lord wants me to go yet. But right now, I'm almost certain that He wants me to go. I've always thought, I want to leave a mark on this world for Christ and for everything that he's done in my life and this is one of the most tangible ways I can. So many people have left their mark on my life and God has been gracious in showing me His power, grace and love, I can't possibly think of doing anything else.

SAR

SAR = Structure Activity Relationships.

AND I HAVE ONE!!!! ::raving gf post ahead:: <3<3<3

I <3 pharm chem. I <3 it so much that I'm getting tested on it on the day of LOOOOOOOVEEEE. I've been sleeping with pharm chem every night and it's been the FREAKING BEST I'VE EVER HAD!!!!

i know.. how inappropriate is my post right now. but you have to understand... i'm shellshocked from the volume of exams we've had in the past month. excuse my inappropriateness.... but i <3 pharm chem. I love it so much that i think about it every moment of every day. even when i'm spending time in other classes.

oh well.

Fear and Music

Yay for BMG! Got my midterm madness care package today of 6 cds all for 5.99 free shipping and handling.

Brandon Heath: unknown.. but very very good.
City on a Hill: The gathering
Michael Buble: It's Time
Casting Crowns: Lifesong
John Mayer: Continuum
Caedmon's Call: In the Company of Angels

The last one is 'cause I miss Christina, Jeff, Kev and hanging out in Kev's Camry.

Now on to fear:

Fear is crippling. I've lived in fear. Fear of judgment, fear of rejection, fear of death, fear of the dark. (strangely enough... not fear of public speaking). But the fighting part of me laughs in the face of fear and in a sense... I'll hurl myself down a double black and not look back.

I can't imagine people living under the cloud of fear their whole life. Eventually it's gonna come, bite you in the butt and you'll have to face it. I was scared.. i had 2 choices: run or face it.
Which one's worse?
running is better in the short term.
facing is better in the long term.

Whatever you're afraid of...face it. Hurl yourself down the mountain telling yourself that you'll eventually get down. You'll get hurt (maybe), but going down that slope successfully will be satisfying beyond measure.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

3 minute post

Things have been hectic.

It's been a very very eventful few weeks so far and yeah...

But on a more relaxing note, I got my first professional massage ever a couple days ago and OH MY GOODNESS, it was awesome. The therapist did pressure point myotherapy to relieve soreness from boarding in Tahoe. it felt like I was being pricked with a needle, and then all of a sudden this overwhelming sense of relaxation came from my muscles. Wow, I think I'm gonna get a massage everytime I come back from Tahoe. Maybe even after midterms. Once a week would be awesome, but of course I don't have the time OR money.

Anyway, times up. Gotta go!

Names

Boy: Michael, Justin, Gabriel, Ephraim

Girl: Gillian, Julia

I think my name is a derivative of Rosalinda (beautiful rose in spanish). I was named after Rosalyn Carter (President Jimmy Carter's wife). You can see, he obviously had a huge influence on my parents. Enough to name their daughter after his wife. Sometimes I don't know if I'm special enough to be named after a famous person or beautiful enough to be named after the flower, but it's my name. And I suppose it reminds me of how much my family loves me. Even when I don't feel special or beautiful.

Good Feeding

Connie came for the weekend and we got to Dine about Town at Rose Pistola in North Beach. It's nice seeing old friends and catching up. Connie's one of those people who I haven't seen in ages, but when we talk, it's like I just saw her yesterday. I love friends like that. :)



And this was our dessert. Isn't it awesome? Yeah, pretty awesome. ----->

Here's what I'd imagine God saying to us if we're mournful:
Pensive, Doubting, Fearful Heart

Pensive, doubting, fearful heart,
hear what Christ the savior says.
Ev'ry word should joy impart,
change thy mourning into praise.
Yes He speaks and speaks to thee,
May He help thee to believe;
then thou presently will see,
thou hast little cause to grieve.

Fear thou not, nor be ashamed;
All thy sorrows soon shall end,
I, who heav'n and earth have framed,
Am thy Husband and thy Friend;
I the High and Holy One,
Israel's God, by all adored,
As thy Savior will be know,
thy Redeemer and thy Lord

For a moment I withdrew,
and thy heart was filled with pain;
But my mercies I'll renew;
Thou shalt soon rejoice again;
Though I seem to hide my face,
very soon my wrath shall cease;
'tis but for a moment's space,
ending in eternal peace

Though afflicted, tempest tossed,
comfortless awhile thou art,
do not think thou can be lost,
Thou art graven on my heart.
All thy wastes I will repair;
Thou shalt be rebuilt anew;
And in thee it shall appear what the God of love can do.

Distracted

School has come into full swing, but the long weekend was FABULOUS. Thanks to everyone who made my MLK weekend wonderful. :)

Dine About Town is this month and is highly recommended. You can try different restaurants in the City at a fixed price menu. I don't know the fancy-pants way to say that, but it's ULTRA-cool.
Wow, i'm so distracted right now. Coming up in the next few weeks is 6 midterms. Things are starting to get busy, Roz is starting to PMS and work is piling up. The first few weeks of the quarter was AWESOME and I praise God for it, but I can't forget that I ALWAYS ALWAYS need His strength, even in the good times. I think I'm learning that this week as I snap at the people I love and feel incredibly distracted when I need to study, or can't wake up for class.

I need to remember that the joy I have is a gift only from God that that it's possible if I get desperate and lonely. 5.5 months and counting. Things are great. I can't wait. For it's only Jesus who can set me straight.

(cheesy, I know. But i'm in a cheese place, please humor me).

Welcome to my first ever all-nighter. We played none other than the game for "demi-gods," Settlers of Catan. I can't believe this was my first all-nighter ever. We ended at 5:30am. I had an extremely productive morning where I caught up on Physio reading and did my BPS problem set. And then, I headed off to the SF Zoo where I did manual labor, pretended to be a ninja and learned how to salsa dance from a latin instructor. Good times, good times.



And when you feel sad or blue, remember this picture. These are the faces of PURE JOY. Yes, yes, remember the smile on our faces, the twinkle in our eyes and the absolute ecstasy exuding from us.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year from my family to yours.
These are the most important people in my life. No one can say I'm too attached or needy because this is my family. I love them no matter what and they love me no matter what.








Back in the grind of school and I'm so not wanting to study. Spent last week playing settlers with mah peeps and working. Went to tahoe this weekend with my new gear and the funnest car EVAR~!!! But now it's back to reality. I notice that I like to run away, not wanting to face my challenges head on because they seem so overwhemling. But, I welcome challenge, that was the point of my college admissions essay. The alpha-female part of me loves that. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Well, it turns out that the human body can only take so much of it and conscioiusly or unconsciously, it starts to run away from whatever pressures are applied. Reality has set in. I have classes to study for, appointments to make, things to think about and mull over. I've lived in the moment during vacation...taking it day by day because it was exciting. Now, I need to actually, consciously choose to live one day at a time.
Anyway, if you have a chance, go to Tahoe. The snow is amazing. :)

Taiwan Picture Post

taken at the national palace museum garden

i ate this like every night. omg, so good. (taipei 101 food court)

the view from where my dad went to elementary school.

the metro is awesome. and you thought you didn't have to wait anywhere else. and plus, there're flat screens with very attractive people on it (takeshi kaneshiro is so attractive).

Chan Kai Shek Memorial. Did you know he was a Christian? cool.

the worst food evar. don't ever eat this. it's steamed stinky tofu in pork blood. gross.

let's play a game. whoever can find the most errors in this passage wins!

this is my favorite picture from the trip. Taroko National Park

notice, 75% or us have cameras.

there's a pharmacy called ROS near Taiwan National University!!!!!! puaahaahaahaahaaa

where my dad went to college.

ok that's all. more to come later.

OMG

Dogs

I'm a dog person. The day a cat scratched me on the back of my hand, I became a dog person.

There's something about dogs that makes them almost infinitely lovable: their unswerving loyalty. The knowledge that this dog will love you, no matter what you do. That everytime you come home, that dog has been waiting for you, yearning for you to come home to play with it. That whenever an intruder walks through your front door, it will give up everything to protect you. It will love the things you love, whether it's food or people. That it will (kind of) listen to you if you've had a bad day, calm you down if you've had a stressful day and comfort you if your mood is on the downswing. Sometimes as a human, I don't understand this unconditional loyalty. I mean, just because I feed a dog food regularly would be ground for it to be so attached?

But the thing is, I value that. I value loyalty and it is something that (hopefully) the people I love feel they recieve from me.

Anyway, here's Taiwan, in a nutshell... (actually a small bean wrapped in rice dough covered in peanut flour).

I don't sleep on planes

or subways

or cafes

but for some reason I can sleep on cars, lawns and libraries.

But I don't sleep on planes. Instead, I watched Little Miss Sunshing (prepare to laugh your face off at the end), Miami Vice (bad movie with good looking people), read and finished The Kite Runner(Read it. it's worth reading, seriously), journaled and ate.

oh well.

to sleep I go!

Coming to you from

TAIWAN!!!!! ^_^

Where boba is dirt cheap, dogs pee on motorcycles and Jay Chou can't grow a mustache.

Wait, I take that back. Jay Chou can't grow a mustache anywhere.

Taiwan totally rocks.

The Joy of The Lord...

Is my Strength

Today, I accomplished something that I wanted to do since the beginning of the quarter. I shared it at Sonrise and it hasn't happened to me in such a long time. I laughed until my stomach hurt. We were seriously laughing for like 15 minutes just about one thing. But it was the best time. Thanks guys, for making me laugh so hard. And, Thanks God.

Since Saturday morning, I've felt joy. A stark contrast to Friday night which was drowned in sorrow. But this weekend has been good. Thanks everyone who participated, even on the phone.

This past quarter has been a test, and I passed it. There were no grades, there's no percentage. It's pass or not pass, and I passed. That's an awesome feeling that I can't contribute to myself. At the beginning of the quarter, I broke down in tears thinking I wouldn't be able to even survive the quarter, let alone finish it. During midterms, I seriously thought about just giving up and going home, taking the rest of the quarter off. But, by God's grace and strength, I actually finished the quarter doing almost just as well as I had been doing previously.

Today I had an epiphany on the BART. I've been watching Pride and Prejudice and in these women's lives, all they think about is marriage and the story kind of showed me how trivial sometimes that can be...but that was me. And then I started The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis and it showed me that there's nothing we can take to heaven. Just our actions and our souls. So on the BART, I became convinced that marriage, relationships and boys don't define me. They don't give me worth as a person and they most certainly do not get me into God's good graces in heaven. I already have all of that and my future/life is secure. It's secure. God gives and takes away. Everything is from Him and nothing is mine to keep or to claim as mine. The only thing I can do is to use everything that I have for God's Kingdom, for the spread of his good word and to have everyone I know come into a relationship with Jesus. In my status now, God has a plan for me, as a single woman. And I'm going to sure as heck find out what God wants me to do, and do it. Knowing and doing it would no doubt bring me the joy that comes only from the Almighty.

This weekend has been good.

Thanks God :)