Friday, 18 May 2007
Wednesday, 16 May 2007
Roz for Choice
No, I'm not advocating a woman's right to choose, but I've come across a very interesting epiphany this past weekend. I can choose. I have the choice on how I react to certain situations even though sometimes I always thought i was "made" to react a certain way. I can choose my future husband. Even though it feels counterintuitive to me, I have the choice to say yes or no instead of thinking that any guy that "chooses me" is a keeper. That's what's been my downfall in the past. I have the choice to accept things and I have the choice to be joyful.
This is what free will feels like. Kind of liberating.
But you know how you know there's organic vegetables, but you still get the cheaper vegetables? You still don't get the organic vegetables (even though they might be better) because you're comfortable with the cheaper vegetables. I feel that way sometimes with this newfound freedom. I'm still in the habit of not choosing... not even considering my choices. That's an interesting habit to break.
God has brought me such a long way from that bad place, but this past weekend, he's reminded me that I'm not fine yet. That i'm still a work in progress and I definitely can't provide my own joy. It's funny how amazing His timing is.
This is what free will feels like. Kind of liberating.
But you know how you know there's organic vegetables, but you still get the cheaper vegetables? You still don't get the organic vegetables (even though they might be better) because you're comfortable with the cheaper vegetables. I feel that way sometimes with this newfound freedom. I'm still in the habit of not choosing... not even considering my choices. That's an interesting habit to break.
God has brought me such a long way from that bad place, but this past weekend, he's reminded me that I'm not fine yet. That i'm still a work in progress and I definitely can't provide my own joy. It's funny how amazing His timing is.
Saturday, 5 May 2007
Quick Case!
RC is a 24 yo female who comes into your office complaining of dizziness, tingling hands and feeling "cold". She appears to be lethargic, her lips and conjunctiva is pale. upon physical examination reveals everything in normal limits. She has a history of irregular menses. The latest cycle started today. She also donated blood yesterday.
What do you recommend?
Yup, that's me.
Current therapy includes:
Liberal Amounts of Fluid
Ferrous Fumarate 86mg. (27mg elemental FE)
Anything else I should do?
What do you recommend?
Yup, that's me.
Current therapy includes:
Liberal Amounts of Fluid
Ferrous Fumarate 86mg. (27mg elemental FE)
Anything else I should do?
Monday, 30 April 2007
Worst Joke Ever
But I still laugh EVERY TIME.
Representative Conversation
Roz: Hey.. my mom left some updog in the freezer, what to try some?
Person A: What's updog?
Roz: Oh, nothing much, wanna go to the beach?
Person A: LAAAAAAME
dude... gets me every time.
Representative Conversation
Roz: Hey.. my mom left some updog in the freezer, what to try some?
Person A: What's updog?
Roz: Oh, nothing much, wanna go to the beach?
Person A: LAAAAAAME
dude... gets me every time.
Monday, 23 April 2007
Invisible
I've felt invisible so many times before, but these children... are truly invisible. Abducted in their homes, schools, and trained to fight in the LRA. I can't imagine having to walk 10 miles every night just to find a safe place to sleep.
I was looking at the bracelet campaign and one of the bracelets is about a girl named Rosalyn. It's eerie to know that someone with my name has been abducted, raped or even killed because of this war.
Saturday, 21 April 2007
Walking Contradiction
So I'm walking along Parnassus Ave. and at the bus stop, I see a man dressed in jeans and a T-shirt that says.. "Trust me, I'm a Doctor." and he's smoking.
Pharmacists are supposed to have really good memories. Mine sucks. 2 weeks ago, I forgot my keys THREE TIMES that week. THREE TIMES, I had to call one of my roomates or landlord to let me in. Now I have a sign in the stairwell saying "Keys, Wallet, Cell Phone" to remind me.
Early Alzheimers?
Pharmacists are supposed to have really good memories. Mine sucks. 2 weeks ago, I forgot my keys THREE TIMES that week. THREE TIMES, I had to call one of my roomates or landlord to let me in. Now I have a sign in the stairwell saying "Keys, Wallet, Cell Phone" to remind me.
Early Alzheimers?
Wednesday, 18 April 2007
Learning Impaired
::vent::
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING FOR THERAPEUTICS!!!
a;lsdkfj jk;a lkdfj
so frustrating.
::end vent::
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING FOR THERAPEUTICS!!!
a;lsdkfj jk;a lkdfj
so frustrating.
::end vent::
Monday, 16 April 2007
Loneliness
I feel my loneliness more acutely when every member of my family is more than 2000 miles away.
Today, I went to class (well, some of it), went to work and came home. I did most stuff by myself, not really talking to anyone. But i've been feeling it since yesterday night when my family scattered all over the rest of the world.
Even though i was still kind of far from everyone before yesterday, I still felt like there was a connection.
Anyway...on a more positive note, if you want a prayer letter for my summer endeavors, let me know.
Today, I went to class (well, some of it), went to work and came home. I did most stuff by myself, not really talking to anyone. But i've been feeling it since yesterday night when my family scattered all over the rest of the world.
Even though i was still kind of far from everyone before yesterday, I still felt like there was a connection.
Anyway...on a more positive note, if you want a prayer letter for my summer endeavors, let me know.
Tuesday, 10 April 2007
picture post part quatre
From the biggest m&m store in the world. They have this machine that "deciphers" your color mood. I think mine is pretty accurate. 
FAO Swartz. Unfortunately, we only spent like 6min in the store and the giant keyboard was closed. but the Patrick the Pups were available, so we take a picture. The lighting in this picture is amazing. Good job!
WHEN YOU CAME?!!?!!?!is the motto of this trip? Why? I dunno.. maybe 'cause we're travelling in NYC... FoB sTyLe~!!!
Picture Post Part Trois
We <3 NY!!! Taken at the Statue of Liberty. Skyline of Manhattan in the background.
Taken at Ground Zero. Apologize for the language, but I feel like it kind of hits home what my generation thinks, how we think and what we think about. Pretty powerful.
Serendipity. Aside from the UBER-rude host, the frozen hot chocolate was awesome. And so is this picture. (taken by Aileen)
We're at the met. There were 2 free pedestals, so we're now egyptian gods! Then people started copying us which made the experience pretty funny. Picture Post Part Deax
Iceskating at the Roc. do the roc-away... and lean back.. and lean back.... ok cheesy. sorry, I just burst into booty song sometimes. I love this picture, too. Except a creepy street vendor didn't take it like the one in Friends.
Taken at Max Brenner's. That you see us eating is a crepe with chocolate and hazelnut. Yes, I guess you can say it's nutella. but House made nutella!!!
SLUMBER PARTY!!! We all look beautiful without makeup. I had a really good time spending time with these girls and just having fun. Good job with the bonding. :)PICTURE POST!
Myun Hwa came! I'm sorry again for making you wait for the restaurant for so long, but it was SOOOOO good to see you! :)As you can see... the corn in the cob in our mouths, and we are very happy. This is the BEST corn on the cob ever. Grilled, smothered with cheese and paprika. OMG so good.
(Cafe Habana - Soho)
The 4 of us (-Christina) at bar 13 with the BEST DJ EVAR! This is how I kicked off my Birthday. Fun stuff.
This is all of us (-Winnie) in Central Park. I love the composition of this picture. The sole male in the picture is Joe. He's one of Christina's friends from college and is an AWESOME tourguide. THANKS JOECHENGOD!!!
Winnie, Julie and I on some ledge at Club Duvet. This is how I finished off my birthday. DJ not as good, but it was fun, nevertheless.Sunday, 8 April 2007
2 encouraging things
let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain
let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain
all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now
in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain
-Rob Thomas
"Look into my, Lord. In obedience to your will I recall this and confess to you. May my soul now adhere to you. You detached it from the birdlime which held me fast in death. How unhappy it was! Your scalpel cut to the quick of the wound, so that I should have leave all these ambitions and be converted to you, who are 'above all things' (Rom 9:5) and without whom all things are nothing, and that by conversion I should be healed."
-St. Augustine
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain
let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain
all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now
in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain
-Rob Thomas
"Look into my, Lord. In obedience to your will I recall this and confess to you. May my soul now adhere to you. You detached it from the birdlime which held me fast in death. How unhappy it was! Your scalpel cut to the quick of the wound, so that I should have leave all these ambitions and be converted to you, who are 'above all things' (Rom 9:5) and without whom all things are nothing, and that by conversion I should be healed."
-St. Augustine
Tuesday, 3 April 2007
4Seasons
The 4 seasons is a really popular metaphor for life. Why? Because it fits so well.
I dunno...
I feel like my life so far has gone through Spring (being born), Summer (growing up), Fall (High School, parts of college), Winter (parts of college and first year of pharmacy school) and now the season has come back to Spring.
Bringing in another cliche, spring really does come in like a lion and out like a lamb. I feel like the frost is melting from my psyche and shoots are growing. Am I establishing roots in the bay area? I dunno. But I feel like I'm in that transition between winter and spring. Where it rains a lot, there's a lot of growth and hopefully some flowering coming soon and some snow still left on the ground. Episodes of sadness, of wanting not to live anymore, extreme tiredness, burntoutness and fatigue have plagued my bones these past few years and I'm ready for Spring.
I'm ready for the growth, for the growing pains that shape one's character. I still hurt, but i've come to realize that the hurt is good. People who have lived charmed lives don't know what it feels like to hurt and their joy is taken for granted. I never EVER want to take the joy that I've recieved for granted. ever.
and that, again is too poetic for my own good.
time for pho!.... pho' shizzle.
I dunno...
I feel like my life so far has gone through Spring (being born), Summer (growing up), Fall (High School, parts of college), Winter (parts of college and first year of pharmacy school) and now the season has come back to Spring.
Bringing in another cliche, spring really does come in like a lion and out like a lamb. I feel like the frost is melting from my psyche and shoots are growing. Am I establishing roots in the bay area? I dunno. But I feel like I'm in that transition between winter and spring. Where it rains a lot, there's a lot of growth and hopefully some flowering coming soon and some snow still left on the ground. Episodes of sadness, of wanting not to live anymore, extreme tiredness, burntoutness and fatigue have plagued my bones these past few years and I'm ready for Spring.
I'm ready for the growth, for the growing pains that shape one's character. I still hurt, but i've come to realize that the hurt is good. People who have lived charmed lives don't know what it feels like to hurt and their joy is taken for granted. I never EVER want to take the joy that I've recieved for granted. ever.
and that, again is too poetic for my own good.
time for pho!.... pho' shizzle.
Monday, 2 April 2007
Buzz
This morning was abuzz. The classroom was swimming with both excitement and disappointment. Everyone was asking everyone else "where are you going?" Today was the day the list was posted. The list of the rotation site assignments. We're placed in one of 6 sites: San Francisco, South Bay, LA/OC, Fresno, Davis and San Diego. Yesterday we were all nervous.
Where am I going?
I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying. :)
Where am I going?
I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying. :)
Friday, 30 March 2007
Blue Like Jazz
I guess I have a lot to say considering I updated about 12 hrs ago.
But on the plane ride to and fro NY, I started and finished Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. Yes, I'm still working on Anna Karenina and Confessions. But I borrowed the book for spring break (THANKS JEN!!) and thought I should read it. It reads a lot like a blog. But the book is interesting in that it is written from life in the first person. It's unexpectedly candid and he is very real and honest about his faith. This book is the manifestation of Phil 2:12. Donald Miller continues to work out his salvation with fear and trembling and its very apparent in his book.
Something that I don't exactly agree with is his description of is salvation as being "Christian Spirituality" and comparing it to the negatively connoted "Christianity" and "Fundamentalism." I think it is still possible to be a fundamentalist christian and still have liberal ideas about social justice and politics. I dunno, it's just me. As some people would describe me as a "utopian idealist."
Gosh... that was dang academic. I think it's a good read. God works in subtle ways in the U.S. and this book is a testament to it.
What else was I going to talk about?
oh yeah,
So I AM going to try this reading one non science book a quarter thing. Even though therapeutics (the ugly monster that will probably be my profession in the next 5 years) I still want to be well rounded and experience everything from art to literature to good music. BTW, Duncan Shiek is playing at the independent in April. Anyone want to come with me?
OH YEAH, i wanted to talk about goals this quarter...
It's the year of the pig and I just turned 24. Excuse me if this sounds self absorbed, but this is going to be MY YEAR. Yes, that's right. So prepare, people. I actually always wanted to say that and no I have nothing interesting to follow it up with. oh well. Goes to show how deep I am. :P
But on the plane ride to and fro NY, I started and finished Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. Yes, I'm still working on Anna Karenina and Confessions. But I borrowed the book for spring break (THANKS JEN!!) and thought I should read it. It reads a lot like a blog. But the book is interesting in that it is written from life in the first person. It's unexpectedly candid and he is very real and honest about his faith. This book is the manifestation of Phil 2:12. Donald Miller continues to work out his salvation with fear and trembling and its very apparent in his book.
Something that I don't exactly agree with is his description of is salvation as being "Christian Spirituality" and comparing it to the negatively connoted "Christianity" and "Fundamentalism." I think it is still possible to be a fundamentalist christian and still have liberal ideas about social justice and politics. I dunno, it's just me. As some people would describe me as a "utopian idealist."
Gosh... that was dang academic. I think it's a good read. God works in subtle ways in the U.S. and this book is a testament to it.
What else was I going to talk about?
oh yeah,
So I AM going to try this reading one non science book a quarter thing. Even though therapeutics (the ugly monster that will probably be my profession in the next 5 years) I still want to be well rounded and experience everything from art to literature to good music. BTW, Duncan Shiek is playing at the independent in April. Anyone want to come with me?
OH YEAH, i wanted to talk about goals this quarter...
It's the year of the pig and I just turned 24. Excuse me if this sounds self absorbed, but this is going to be MY YEAR. Yes, that's right. So prepare, people. I actually always wanted to say that and no I have nothing interesting to follow it up with. oh well. Goes to show how deep I am. :P
WHEN YOU CAME?!
Travellers:
Aileen
Christina
Julie
Roz
Winnie
Tourguide:
Joe Cheng(od)
Restaurants:
Spice
Cafe Habana
Afghan House
Gray's Papaya
Il Something Trattoria
Burmese House
Pommes Frites
So-lang Tang (in NY K-town)
Squisito Pizza
Hot Dog Stand
Nuts4Nuts
Empenada Mama's
Yeah! Shanghai (xiao long bao.. makes me want to say.. PEACE OUT, A TOWN!)
Desserts:
Cafe Lola
Serendipity 3
Max Benner's Chocolates
Rice to Riches
Lindt Store
M&M Store
Attractions:
Rent on Broadway
Times Square
Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island
East Villiage
Chinatown
Watching a street fight
Ground Zero
SHOPPING!!!
Guggenheim
the Met
J. Lo, her booty and her emaciated husband
Bars/Clubs:
Crocodile Lounge
Club Duvet
Bar 13
230 5th Ave
I <3
N Y
Aileen
Christina
Julie
Roz
Winnie
Tourguide:
Joe Cheng(od)
Restaurants:
Spice
Cafe Habana
Afghan House
Gray's Papaya
Il Something Trattoria
Burmese House
Pommes Frites
So-lang Tang (in NY K-town)
Squisito Pizza
Hot Dog Stand
Nuts4Nuts
Empenada Mama's
Yeah! Shanghai (xiao long bao.. makes me want to say.. PEACE OUT, A TOWN!)
Desserts:
Cafe Lola
Serendipity 3
Max Benner's Chocolates
Rice to Riches
Lindt Store
M&M Store
Attractions:
Rent on Broadway
Times Square
Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island
East Villiage
Chinatown
Watching a street fight
Ground Zero
SHOPPING!!!
Guggenheim
the Met
J. Lo, her booty and her emaciated husband
Bars/Clubs:
Crocodile Lounge
Club Duvet
Bar 13
230 5th Ave
I <3
N Y
Thursday, 22 March 2007
All my bags are packed
and i'm ready to go...
GOING TO NEW YORK CITY FOR SPRING BREAK!!!!!
::dance, dance::
OMG, I'M BEYOND EXCITED! :)
oh my goodness... i can't believe I'm spending my birthday in the Big Apple. OMG, I'm SOOOOOOOOOOO excited. :)
GOING TO NEW YORK CITY FOR SPRING BREAK!!!!!
::dance, dance::
OMG, I'M BEYOND EXCITED! :)
oh my goodness... i can't believe I'm spending my birthday in the Big Apple. OMG, I'm SOOOOOOOOOOO excited. :)
Monday, 19 March 2007
Listen
You're calling me to lay aside the worries of my day
To quiet down my busy mind and finding a hiding place
Worthy, you are Worthy
I crave God's voice. I hear so many other voices in my head that God's voice has become almost silent and it saddens me. Unashamed Love is a song that I can sing from my heart because I get caught up so easily with my busy mind. A vortex of swirling thoughts that are sometimes false, sometimes negative and sometimes not a clear perception of reality.
The thing is.... i've come to the point where I don't trust ANY of my thoughts. I don't trust my judgment, I don't trust my decision-making skills. It's almost like learning to think all over again.
This just means that I need to be more vigilant in filling my thoughts with words of God and really being able lay aside the worries of my day. Being secure in knowing that the Cross is all I need for security, for worth. At City Church we've been studying Galatians and the point of it was that Paul was trying to make it a point that our spiritual lives started in the Spirit, it shouldn't end in the flesh (Gal. 3) That my salvation is not Christ + something but Christ alone. In Christ alone my hope is found.
Anyway, I've procrastinated long enough. I should actually listen to myself and start studying right now. :P
To quiet down my busy mind and finding a hiding place
Worthy, you are Worthy
I crave God's voice. I hear so many other voices in my head that God's voice has become almost silent and it saddens me. Unashamed Love is a song that I can sing from my heart because I get caught up so easily with my busy mind. A vortex of swirling thoughts that are sometimes false, sometimes negative and sometimes not a clear perception of reality.
The thing is.... i've come to the point where I don't trust ANY of my thoughts. I don't trust my judgment, I don't trust my decision-making skills. It's almost like learning to think all over again.
This just means that I need to be more vigilant in filling my thoughts with words of God and really being able lay aside the worries of my day. Being secure in knowing that the Cross is all I need for security, for worth. At City Church we've been studying Galatians and the point of it was that Paul was trying to make it a point that our spiritual lives started in the Spirit, it shouldn't end in the flesh (Gal. 3) That my salvation is not Christ + something but Christ alone. In Christ alone my hope is found.
Anyway, I've procrastinated long enough. I should actually listen to myself and start studying right now. :P
Friday, 9 March 2007
Mango
I found my future dog. If no one adopts her, I will.
Meet Mango. She's from the Rocket Dog Rescue Adoption agency from SF. She's 20-25 pounds and about 1.5 years old. Look at those eyes. Look at her ears.
I love her and I want to take her home with me. This is my outlet of procrastination 'cause I can't study for more than 30 min at a time... and my eyes are getting increasingly worse. But isn't she sweet?
We have the same temperament, and she's even from TAIWAN! ^_^
::sigh:: if only I had the time to take care of a dog.
She's completely house broken, too!!
Maybe I can teach her how to follow mandarin commands so we can be chinese together, like my old dog Lili.
And mango. I love that name. It's so cute.
In other news, I've fallen in love with Dmitry Shostakovich. Heard a piano concerto and a symphony and I was hooked. No more of this prodigy Mozart Classical stuff anymore. I've moved on to the brooding Russian composers like Shostakovich, Dvorak and Rachmaninov. My String Quartet Concertos is coming in the mail. SCORE!! Just in time for finals. :)
Tuesday, 6 March 2007
Highlighter Rant
Being a student, highlighters are very important to me. Since for as long as I can remember, I've been on a quest to search for the best highlighter. Alas, to no avail, I've found only failures in the field of highlighting.
::sigh::
Know any good highlighter brands?
::sigh::
Know any good highlighter brands?
Wednesday, 28 February 2007
Catalyst
Sometimes I ask myself, how come I didn't discover this sooner?
It usually applies to positive things like a fantastic study venue, a good hole-in-the-wall restaurant or even better...a good group of friends.
After a year of pharmacy school, we needed the perfect catalyst to bring us all together. It was good for all of us. Good in different ways, but it's something that I'm not about to let go of. I love you guys. Hope we can hang out soon. :)
In other news, my psuedo Lent abandonment is studying at places where it costs money to purchase a caffeinated beverage. Why is it pseudo? 'cause there's no real spiritual reason why I've given up studying at cafes, only financial. It just happens to coincide with the Lenten season. so spiritual, i know. So i've been studying at home and in the library. Saves a LOT of money. For a student on loans, that helps.
This next weekend will be perfect to go to the snow. I went last weekend and the powder was thigh deep in some areas but driving down was a bear. Snow, sleet, wind and going at an average of 3mph. Not fun when you're ischemic in the uterus. But since the weather's been good, there'll be a break in the blizzarding and Tahoe will be perfect for those of you seeking excitement on pillows of white powder. Falling couldn't be more fun.
An update on going abroad this summer. I decided about 6 months ago that I'm going overseas. Where? I don't know. I'm praying for a partner to go with me to South Asia (i don't want to go alone for safety reasons.... and it'll be nice to have company to serve with). I do.... I have a special heart for people who don't live in the luxury I have hear and I've always yearned to live more simply, to be exposed to what injustice is and to somehow help to stop it. The more I think about going abroad, the more excited I get, even though I don't know where the Lord wants me to go yet. But right now, I'm almost certain that He wants me to go. I've always thought, I want to leave a mark on this world for Christ and for everything that he's done in my life and this is one of the most tangible ways I can. So many people have left their mark on my life and God has been gracious in showing me His power, grace and love, I can't possibly think of doing anything else.
It usually applies to positive things like a fantastic study venue, a good hole-in-the-wall restaurant or even better...a good group of friends.
After a year of pharmacy school, we needed the perfect catalyst to bring us all together. It was good for all of us. Good in different ways, but it's something that I'm not about to let go of. I love you guys. Hope we can hang out soon. :)
In other news, my psuedo Lent abandonment is studying at places where it costs money to purchase a caffeinated beverage. Why is it pseudo? 'cause there's no real spiritual reason why I've given up studying at cafes, only financial. It just happens to coincide with the Lenten season. so spiritual, i know. So i've been studying at home and in the library. Saves a LOT of money. For a student on loans, that helps.
This next weekend will be perfect to go to the snow. I went last weekend and the powder was thigh deep in some areas but driving down was a bear. Snow, sleet, wind and going at an average of 3mph. Not fun when you're ischemic in the uterus. But since the weather's been good, there'll be a break in the blizzarding and Tahoe will be perfect for those of you seeking excitement on pillows of white powder. Falling couldn't be more fun.
An update on going abroad this summer. I decided about 6 months ago that I'm going overseas. Where? I don't know. I'm praying for a partner to go with me to South Asia (i don't want to go alone for safety reasons.... and it'll be nice to have company to serve with). I do.... I have a special heart for people who don't live in the luxury I have hear and I've always yearned to live more simply, to be exposed to what injustice is and to somehow help to stop it. The more I think about going abroad, the more excited I get, even though I don't know where the Lord wants me to go yet. But right now, I'm almost certain that He wants me to go. I've always thought, I want to leave a mark on this world for Christ and for everything that he's done in my life and this is one of the most tangible ways I can. So many people have left their mark on my life and God has been gracious in showing me His power, grace and love, I can't possibly think of doing anything else.
Monday, 12 February 2007
SAR
SAR = Structure Activity Relationships.
AND I HAVE ONE!!!! ::raving gf post ahead:: <3<3<3
I <3 pharm chem. I <3 it so much that I'm getting tested on it on the day of LOOOOOOOVEEEE. I've been sleeping with pharm chem every night and it's been the FREAKING BEST I'VE EVER HAD!!!!
i know.. how inappropriate is my post right now. but you have to understand... i'm shellshocked from the volume of exams we've had in the past month. excuse my inappropriateness.... but i <3 pharm chem. I love it so much that i think about it every moment of every day. even when i'm spending time in other classes.
oh well.
AND I HAVE ONE!!!! ::raving gf post ahead:: <3<3<3
I <3 pharm chem. I <3 it so much that I'm getting tested on it on the day of LOOOOOOOVEEEE. I've been sleeping with pharm chem every night and it's been the FREAKING BEST I'VE EVER HAD!!!!
i know.. how inappropriate is my post right now. but you have to understand... i'm shellshocked from the volume of exams we've had in the past month. excuse my inappropriateness.... but i <3 pharm chem. I love it so much that i think about it every moment of every day. even when i'm spending time in other classes.
oh well.
Monday, 5 February 2007
Fear and Music
Yay for BMG! Got my midterm madness care package today of 6 cds all for 5.99 free shipping and handling.
Brandon Heath: unknown.. but very very good.
City on a Hill: The gathering
Michael Buble: It's Time
Casting Crowns: Lifesong
John Mayer: Continuum
Caedmon's Call: In the Company of Angels
The last one is 'cause I miss Christina, Jeff, Kev and hanging out in Kev's Camry.
Now on to fear:
Fear is crippling. I've lived in fear. Fear of judgment, fear of rejection, fear of death, fear of the dark. (strangely enough... not fear of public speaking). But the fighting part of me laughs in the face of fear and in a sense... I'll hurl myself down a double black and not look back.
I can't imagine people living under the cloud of fear their whole life. Eventually it's gonna come, bite you in the butt and you'll have to face it. I was scared.. i had 2 choices: run or face it.
Which one's worse?
running is better in the short term.
facing is better in the long term.
Whatever you're afraid of...face it. Hurl yourself down the mountain telling yourself that you'll eventually get down. You'll get hurt (maybe), but going down that slope successfully will be satisfying beyond measure.
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
Brandon Heath: unknown.. but very very good.
City on a Hill: The gathering
Michael Buble: It's Time
Casting Crowns: Lifesong
John Mayer: Continuum
Caedmon's Call: In the Company of Angels
The last one is 'cause I miss Christina, Jeff, Kev and hanging out in Kev's Camry.
Now on to fear:
Fear is crippling. I've lived in fear. Fear of judgment, fear of rejection, fear of death, fear of the dark. (strangely enough... not fear of public speaking). But the fighting part of me laughs in the face of fear and in a sense... I'll hurl myself down a double black and not look back.
I can't imagine people living under the cloud of fear their whole life. Eventually it's gonna come, bite you in the butt and you'll have to face it. I was scared.. i had 2 choices: run or face it.
Which one's worse?
running is better in the short term.
facing is better in the long term.
Whatever you're afraid of...face it. Hurl yourself down the mountain telling yourself that you'll eventually get down. You'll get hurt (maybe), but going down that slope successfully will be satisfying beyond measure.
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
Thursday, 1 February 2007
3 minute post
Things have been hectic.
It's been a very very eventful few weeks so far and yeah...
But on a more relaxing note, I got my first professional massage ever a couple days ago and OH MY GOODNESS, it was awesome. The therapist did pressure point myotherapy to relieve soreness from boarding in Tahoe. it felt like I was being pricked with a needle, and then all of a sudden this overwhelming sense of relaxation came from my muscles. Wow, I think I'm gonna get a massage everytime I come back from Tahoe. Maybe even after midterms. Once a week would be awesome, but of course I don't have the time OR money.
Anyway, times up. Gotta go!
It's been a very very eventful few weeks so far and yeah...
But on a more relaxing note, I got my first professional massage ever a couple days ago and OH MY GOODNESS, it was awesome. The therapist did pressure point myotherapy to relieve soreness from boarding in Tahoe. it felt like I was being pricked with a needle, and then all of a sudden this overwhelming sense of relaxation came from my muscles. Wow, I think I'm gonna get a massage everytime I come back from Tahoe. Maybe even after midterms. Once a week would be awesome, but of course I don't have the time OR money.
Anyway, times up. Gotta go!
Sunday, 28 January 2007
Names
Boy: Michael, Justin, Gabriel, Ephraim
Girl: Gillian, Julia
I think my name is a derivative of Rosalinda (beautiful rose in spanish). I was named after Rosalyn Carter (President Jimmy Carter's wife). You can see, he obviously had a huge influence on my parents. Enough to name their daughter after his wife. Sometimes I don't know if I'm special enough to be named after a famous person or beautiful enough to be named after the flower, but it's my name. And I suppose it reminds me of how much my family loves me. Even when I don't feel special or beautiful.
Girl: Gillian, Julia
I think my name is a derivative of Rosalinda (beautiful rose in spanish). I was named after Rosalyn Carter (President Jimmy Carter's wife). You can see, he obviously had a huge influence on my parents. Enough to name their daughter after his wife. Sometimes I don't know if I'm special enough to be named after a famous person or beautiful enough to be named after the flower, but it's my name. And I suppose it reminds me of how much my family loves me. Even when I don't feel special or beautiful.
Sunday, 21 January 2007
Good Feeding
Connie came for the weekend and we got to Dine about Town at Rose Pistola in North Beach. It's nice seeing old friends and catching up. Connie's one of those people who I haven't seen in ages, but when we talk, it's like I just saw her yesterday. I love friends like that. :)
And this was our dessert. Isn't it awesome? Yeah, pretty awesome. ----->
Here's what I'd imagine God saying to us if we're mournful:
Pensive, Doubting, Fearful Heart
Pensive, doubting, fearful heart,
hear what Christ the savior says.
Ev'ry word should joy impart,
change thy mourning into praise.
Yes He speaks and speaks to thee,
May He help thee to believe;
then thou presently will see,
thou hast little cause to grieve.
Fear thou not, nor be ashamed;
All thy sorrows soon shall end,
I, who heav'n and earth have framed,
Am thy Husband and thy Friend;
I the High and Holy One,
Israel's God, by all adored,
As thy Savior will be know,
thy Redeemer and thy Lord
For a moment I withdrew,
and thy heart was filled with pain;
But my mercies I'll renew;
Thou shalt soon rejoice again;
Though I seem to hide my face,
very soon my wrath shall cease;
'tis but for a moment's space,
ending in eternal peace
Though afflicted, tempest tossed,
comfortless awhile thou art,
do not think thou can be lost,
Thou art graven on my heart.
All thy wastes I will repair;
Thou shalt be rebuilt anew;
And in thee it shall appear what the God of love can do.
Wednesday, 17 January 2007
Distracted
School has come into full swing, but the long weekend was FABULOUS. Thanks to everyone who made my MLK weekend wonderful. :)
Dine About Town is this month and is highly recommended. You can try different restaurants in the City at a fixed price menu. I don't know the fancy-pants way to say that, but it's ULTRA-cool.
Wow, i'm so distracted right now. Coming up in the next few weeks is 6 midterms. Things are starting to get busy, Roz is starting to PMS and work is piling up. The first few weeks of the quarter was AWESOME and I praise God for it, but I can't forget that I ALWAYS ALWAYS need His strength, even in the good times. I think I'm learning that this week as I snap at the people I love and feel incredibly distracted when I need to study, or can't wake up for class.
I need to remember that the joy I have is a gift only from God that that it's possible if I get desperate and lonely. 5.5 months and counting. Things are great. I can't wait. For it's only Jesus who can set me straight.
(cheesy, I know. But i'm in a cheese place, please humor me).
Welcome to my first ever all-nighter. We played none other than the game for "demi-gods," Settlers of Catan. I can't believe this was my first all-nighter ever. We ended at 5:30am. I had an extremely productive morning where I caught up on Physio reading and did my BPS problem set. And then, I headed off to the SF Zoo where I did manual labor, pretended to be a ninja and learned how to salsa dance from a latin instructor. Good times, good times.
And when you feel sad or blue, remember this picture. These are the faces of PURE JOY. Yes, yes, remember the smile on our faces, the twinkle in our eyes and the absolute ecstasy exuding from us.
Dine About Town is this month and is highly recommended. You can try different restaurants in the City at a fixed price menu. I don't know the fancy-pants way to say that, but it's ULTRA-cool.
Wow, i'm so distracted right now. Coming up in the next few weeks is 6 midterms. Things are starting to get busy, Roz is starting to PMS and work is piling up. The first few weeks of the quarter was AWESOME and I praise God for it, but I can't forget that I ALWAYS ALWAYS need His strength, even in the good times. I think I'm learning that this week as I snap at the people I love and feel incredibly distracted when I need to study, or can't wake up for class.
I need to remember that the joy I have is a gift only from God that that it's possible if I get desperate and lonely. 5.5 months and counting. Things are great. I can't wait. For it's only Jesus who can set me straight.
(cheesy, I know. But i'm in a cheese place, please humor me).
Welcome to my first ever all-nighter. We played none other than the game for "demi-gods," Settlers of Catan. I can't believe this was my first all-nighter ever. We ended at 5:30am. I had an extremely productive morning where I caught up on Physio reading and did my BPS problem set. And then, I headed off to the SF Zoo where I did manual labor, pretended to be a ninja and learned how to salsa dance from a latin instructor. Good times, good times.
And when you feel sad or blue, remember this picture. These are the faces of PURE JOY. Yes, yes, remember the smile on our faces, the twinkle in our eyes and the absolute ecstasy exuding from us. Tuesday, 9 January 2007
Happy New Year
Happy New Year from my family to yours.These are the most important people in my life. No one can say I'm too attached or needy because this is my family. I love them no matter what and they love me no matter what.
Back in the grind of school and I'm so not wanting to study. Spent last week playing settlers with mah peeps and working. Went to tahoe this weekend with my new gear and the funnest car EVAR~!!! But now it's back to reality. I notice that I like to run away, not wanting to face my challenges head on because they seem so overwhemling. But, I welcome challenge, that was the point of my college admissions essay. The alpha-female part of me loves that. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Well, it turns out that the human body can only take so much of it and conscioiusly or unconsciously, it starts to run away from whatever pressures are applied. Reality has set in. I have classes to study for, appointments to make, things to think about and mull over. I've lived in the moment during vacation...taking it day by day because it was exciting. Now, I need to actually, consciously choose to live one day at a time.
Anyway, if you have a chance, go to Tahoe. The snow is amazing. :)
Thursday, 28 December 2006
Taiwan Picture Post
taken at the national palace museum garden
i ate this like every night. omg, so good. (taipei 101 food court)
the view from where my dad went to elementary school.
the metro is awesome. and you thought you didn't have to wait anywhere else. and plus, there're flat screens with very attractive people on it (takeshi kaneshiro is so attractive).
Chan Kai Shek Memorial. Did you know he was a Christian? cool.
the worst food evar. don't ever eat this. it's steamed stinky tofu in pork blood. gross.
let's play a game. whoever can find the most errors in this passage wins!
this is my favorite picture from the trip. Taroko National Park
notice, 75% or us have cameras.
there's a pharmacy called ROS near Taiwan National University!!!!!! puaahaahaahaahaaa
where my dad went to college.
ok that's all. more to come later.
Thursday, 21 December 2006
Dogs
I'm a dog person. The day a cat scratched me on the back of my hand, I became a dog person.
There's something about dogs that makes them almost infinitely lovable: their unswerving loyalty. The knowledge that this dog will love you, no matter what you do. That everytime you come home, that dog has been waiting for you, yearning for you to come home to play with it. That whenever an intruder walks through your front door, it will give up everything to protect you. It will love the things you love, whether it's food or people. That it will (kind of) listen to you if you've had a bad day, calm you down if you've had a stressful day and comfort you if your mood is on the downswing. Sometimes as a human, I don't understand this unconditional loyalty. I mean, just because I feed a dog food regularly would be ground for it to be so attached?
But the thing is, I value that. I value loyalty and it is something that (hopefully) the people I love feel they recieve from me.
Anyway, here's Taiwan, in a nutshell... (actually a small bean wrapped in rice dough covered in peanut flour).
There's something about dogs that makes them almost infinitely lovable: their unswerving loyalty. The knowledge that this dog will love you, no matter what you do. That everytime you come home, that dog has been waiting for you, yearning for you to come home to play with it. That whenever an intruder walks through your front door, it will give up everything to protect you. It will love the things you love, whether it's food or people. That it will (kind of) listen to you if you've had a bad day, calm you down if you've had a stressful day and comfort you if your mood is on the downswing. Sometimes as a human, I don't understand this unconditional loyalty. I mean, just because I feed a dog food regularly would be ground for it to be so attached?
But the thing is, I value that. I value loyalty and it is something that (hopefully) the people I love feel they recieve from me.
Anyway, here's Taiwan, in a nutshell... (actually a small bean wrapped in rice dough covered in peanut flour).
Tuesday, 19 December 2006
I don't sleep on planes
or subways
or cafes
but for some reason I can sleep on cars, lawns and libraries.
But I don't sleep on planes. Instead, I watched Little Miss Sunshing (prepare to laugh your face off at the end), Miami Vice (bad movie with good looking people), read and finished The Kite Runner(Read it. it's worth reading, seriously), journaled and ate.
oh well.
to sleep I go!
or cafes
but for some reason I can sleep on cars, lawns and libraries.
But I don't sleep on planes. Instead, I watched Little Miss Sunshing (prepare to laugh your face off at the end), Miami Vice (bad movie with good looking people), read and finished The Kite Runner(Read it. it's worth reading, seriously), journaled and ate.
oh well.
to sleep I go!
Sunday, 10 December 2006
Coming to you from
TAIWAN!!!!! ^_^
Where boba is dirt cheap, dogs pee on motorcycles and Jay Chou can't grow a mustache.
Wait, I take that back. Jay Chou can't grow a mustache anywhere.
Taiwan totally rocks.
Where boba is dirt cheap, dogs pee on motorcycles and Jay Chou can't grow a mustache.
Wait, I take that back. Jay Chou can't grow a mustache anywhere.
Taiwan totally rocks.
Tuesday, 5 December 2006
The Joy of The Lord...
Is my Strength
Today, I accomplished something that I wanted to do since the beginning of the quarter. I shared it at Sonrise and it hasn't happened to me in such a long time. I laughed until my stomach hurt. We were seriously laughing for like 15 minutes just about one thing. But it was the best time. Thanks guys, for making me laugh so hard. And, Thanks God.
Since Saturday morning, I've felt joy. A stark contrast to Friday night which was drowned in sorrow. But this weekend has been good. Thanks everyone who participated, even on the phone.
This past quarter has been a test, and I passed it. There were no grades, there's no percentage. It's pass or not pass, and I passed. That's an awesome feeling that I can't contribute to myself. At the beginning of the quarter, I broke down in tears thinking I wouldn't be able to even survive the quarter, let alone finish it. During midterms, I seriously thought about just giving up and going home, taking the rest of the quarter off. But, by God's grace and strength, I actually finished the quarter doing almost just as well as I had been doing previously.
Today I had an epiphany on the BART. I've been watching Pride and Prejudice and in these women's lives, all they think about is marriage and the story kind of showed me how trivial sometimes that can be...but that was me. And then I started The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis and it showed me that there's nothing we can take to heaven. Just our actions and our souls. So on the BART, I became convinced that marriage, relationships and boys don't define me. They don't give me worth as a person and they most certainly do not get me into God's good graces in heaven. I already have all of that and my future/life is secure. It's secure. God gives and takes away. Everything is from Him and nothing is mine to keep or to claim as mine. The only thing I can do is to use everything that I have for God's Kingdom, for the spread of his good word and to have everyone I know come into a relationship with Jesus. In my status now, God has a plan for me, as a single woman. And I'm going to sure as heck find out what God wants me to do, and do it. Knowing and doing it would no doubt bring me the joy that comes only from the Almighty.
This weekend has been good.
Thanks God :)
Today, I accomplished something that I wanted to do since the beginning of the quarter. I shared it at Sonrise and it hasn't happened to me in such a long time. I laughed until my stomach hurt. We were seriously laughing for like 15 minutes just about one thing. But it was the best time. Thanks guys, for making me laugh so hard. And, Thanks God.
Since Saturday morning, I've felt joy. A stark contrast to Friday night which was drowned in sorrow. But this weekend has been good. Thanks everyone who participated, even on the phone.
This past quarter has been a test, and I passed it. There were no grades, there's no percentage. It's pass or not pass, and I passed. That's an awesome feeling that I can't contribute to myself. At the beginning of the quarter, I broke down in tears thinking I wouldn't be able to even survive the quarter, let alone finish it. During midterms, I seriously thought about just giving up and going home, taking the rest of the quarter off. But, by God's grace and strength, I actually finished the quarter doing almost just as well as I had been doing previously.
Today I had an epiphany on the BART. I've been watching Pride and Prejudice and in these women's lives, all they think about is marriage and the story kind of showed me how trivial sometimes that can be...but that was me. And then I started The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis and it showed me that there's nothing we can take to heaven. Just our actions and our souls. So on the BART, I became convinced that marriage, relationships and boys don't define me. They don't give me worth as a person and they most certainly do not get me into God's good graces in heaven. I already have all of that and my future/life is secure. It's secure. God gives and takes away. Everything is from Him and nothing is mine to keep or to claim as mine. The only thing I can do is to use everything that I have for God's Kingdom, for the spread of his good word and to have everyone I know come into a relationship with Jesus. In my status now, God has a plan for me, as a single woman. And I'm going to sure as heck find out what God wants me to do, and do it. Knowing and doing it would no doubt bring me the joy that comes only from the Almighty.
This weekend has been good.
Thanks God :)
Monday, 4 December 2006
Thursday, 30 November 2006
All the Colors of Emotion
1) Gosh, just because you drive a Mercedes and you're talking on your cell phone doesn't give you the right of way.
2) I totally bombed one of my finals. What's disappointing is that I thought I was going to do well in this class. Oh well, that teaches me to go to class. I need to move on from this. It's bothering me way to much.
3) I love how it's so cold that my lips are numb. The sharp cold makes everything else even sharper, like that line separating the sky and the ocean.
4) It's finals time and the monster has awoken. But this time a little more violently than usual and in other areas of my thoughts and behaviors. I need it to go away, it's too debilitating.
5) This quarter has been tough. I was thinking about taking the quarter off. Seriously.... Seriously! But I didn't and it's almost over. In September I said this quarter would be a test. Well, just one more day and we'll see how I did.
6) Excitement: Taiwan, Boston, Tahoe (x3),(maybe Yosemite), NYC, Big Red all in the next 8 months. :)
7) I need to let the grades go.
2) I totally bombed one of my finals. What's disappointing is that I thought I was going to do well in this class. Oh well, that teaches me to go to class. I need to move on from this. It's bothering me way to much.
3) I love how it's so cold that my lips are numb. The sharp cold makes everything else even sharper, like that line separating the sky and the ocean.
4) It's finals time and the monster has awoken. But this time a little more violently than usual and in other areas of my thoughts and behaviors. I need it to go away, it's too debilitating.
5) This quarter has been tough. I was thinking about taking the quarter off. Seriously.... Seriously! But I didn't and it's almost over. In September I said this quarter would be a test. Well, just one more day and we'll see how I did.
6) Excitement: Taiwan, Boston, Tahoe (x3),(maybe Yosemite), NYC, Big Red all in the next 8 months. :)
7) I need to let the grades go.
Saturday, 25 November 2006
Grace
The sky is grey and the light is far
The sea is a rage within my heart
I turn my sight to the crashing waves
I cry in the night just to be saved
I need eyes to be my guide
I need a voice that’s louder than mine
I need hope I need You
Cause I can’t do this alone
Grace I call Your name
Oh won’t Your smile fall over me
I’m cracked and dry on hands and knees
Oh sweet grace rain down on me I need You grace
I pray for dawn a new day to live
I pray for mercy only Jesus gives
Though darkness falls and a million cry
I believe over all there’s a greater light shining for us
Come down and save me
-Phil Wickham
The sea is a rage within my heart
I turn my sight to the crashing waves
I cry in the night just to be saved
I need eyes to be my guide
I need a voice that’s louder than mine
I need hope I need You
Cause I can’t do this alone
Grace I call Your name
Oh won’t Your smile fall over me
I’m cracked and dry on hands and knees
Oh sweet grace rain down on me I need You grace
I pray for dawn a new day to live
I pray for mercy only Jesus gives
Though darkness falls and a million cry
I believe over all there’s a greater light shining for us
Come down and save me
-Phil Wickham
Sunday, 19 November 2006
Duets
John Legend went to UPenn!
I want to hear a collaboration between Alicia Keyes and John Legend. They're both have soul, they both play the piano and they're both beautiful people. Both of them have amazing lyrics and amazing songs.
My 2 very dear advisees, Cathy and Yenni. It's weird, they're both a year older than me, but I'm their advisor. But I love them. :)
Celebrated birthdays with Karen and Winnie at BOSS. It was a lot of fun except for some sleazballs who don't know what the cold shoulder means.
Whilst taking a study break, I went book shopping:
Life of Pi
Kite Runner
Anna Karenina
Besides Confessions these are the books I'll be reading to, in and from Asia in December.
Right now...88% of my family is in LA. My, oh, my I want to be there.
I can't wait.
I want to hear a collaboration between Alicia Keyes and John Legend. They're both have soul, they both play the piano and they're both beautiful people. Both of them have amazing lyrics and amazing songs.
My 2 very dear advisees, Cathy and Yenni. It's weird, they're both a year older than me, but I'm their advisor. But I love them. :)
Celebrated birthdays with Karen and Winnie at BOSS. It was a lot of fun except for some sleazballs who don't know what the cold shoulder means.
Whilst taking a study break, I went book shopping:
Life of Pi
Kite Runner
Anna Karenina
Besides Confessions these are the books I'll be reading to, in and from Asia in December.
Right now...88% of my family is in LA. My, oh, my I want to be there.
I can't wait.
Friday, 17 November 2006
Loneliness
Happy feet is opened today.
I should be happy. ecstatic.
But the thing is... I'm not.
Today I've been on the verge of tears. Gosh, I even got teary during an episode of scrubs.
You can be in a room full of people and feel completely lonely. You can be by yourself with no sound and have the presence of God with you.
I've been feeling so lonely lately.
At first I thought it was because I didn't have a boy. I always thought that being exclusive with a man would take away all my loneliness. That his complete attention, the fact that he felt like the luckiest person in the world just being with me would be the answer to the things I've been feeling for such a long time.
I see couples and I'm so jealous of their happiness and companionship.
Why is this such a big deal for me? Why is my happiness, security and identity based on one human being? But I've made so many mistakes and I keep wondering if I've thrown away people who I felt are really important to me.
mm...denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
The quarter's almost over. I can't wait.
I should be happy. ecstatic.
But the thing is... I'm not.
Today I've been on the verge of tears. Gosh, I even got teary during an episode of scrubs.
You can be in a room full of people and feel completely lonely. You can be by yourself with no sound and have the presence of God with you.
I've been feeling so lonely lately.
At first I thought it was because I didn't have a boy. I always thought that being exclusive with a man would take away all my loneliness. That his complete attention, the fact that he felt like the luckiest person in the world just being with me would be the answer to the things I've been feeling for such a long time.
I see couples and I'm so jealous of their happiness and companionship.
Why is this such a big deal for me? Why is my happiness, security and identity based on one human being? But I've made so many mistakes and I keep wondering if I've thrown away people who I felt are really important to me.
mm...denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
The quarter's almost over. I can't wait.
Saturday, 11 November 2006
Thursday, 9 November 2006
Good Hair Day
Yesterday, I took a shower at around 9:00pm and combed my hair. I went to sleep, got up this morning and brushed it in 2 seconds before I go to class and I get 5 compliments about how cute my hair looks.
Maybe I should do nothing with my hair every day. Maybe every day I'll have a good hair day.
In other news, it feels so good to be home. I haven't felt this good being home in a long time.
But I watched my first full episode of Grey's Anatomy...I actually like Scrubs better, so no more Meredith choosing McDreamy and who knows who's going to find out about Burk's injury, except maybe for George. The people on the show are too attractive to be real.
Maybe I should do nothing with my hair every day. Maybe every day I'll have a good hair day.
In other news, it feels so good to be home. I haven't felt this good being home in a long time.
But I watched my first full episode of Grey's Anatomy...I actually like Scrubs better, so no more Meredith choosing McDreamy and who knows who's going to find out about Burk's injury, except maybe for George. The people on the show are too attractive to be real.
Thursday, 2 November 2006
Anti-Stalking
Xanga has included an anti-stalking component to their website.
interesting...
the xanga community has just upped the challenge of stalking.
interesting...
the xanga community has just upped the challenge of stalking.
Tuesday, 31 October 2006
The Highlight of My week
Hello, I'm procrastinating....
but this is basically the highlight of my week 'cause it made me laugh.
but this is basically the highlight of my week 'cause it made me laugh.
Monday, 30 October 2006
Weight
Weight is a sensitive subject when it comes to girls.
In the past 3 months or so, I've lost 15 odd pounds. Thankfully, I've gained 2 of it back... yay.
But a part of me doesn't want to gain the weight back.
Why?
Because I'm scared boys won't like me if I get fat.
There are 2 views on my weight:
Me: I'm good like this. I like being this shape and size and I'm ugly if I gain more weight.
Family and Friends: I don't look good like this. I need to gain more weight, in fact, I'll look better if I gain more weight.
Here's the distortion:
My BMI is borderline underweight/normal.
From what I've gathered from the male population, thin is good. Boys are attracted to small girls. Here are some quotes from guys I know:
"The smaller the better"
"Size 0 is good, don't change."
"Size matters"
"I want to date someone thin."
I care too much about what people.... no scratch that. I care too much about what boys think of me.
I used to not care about my weight. I used to eat all you can eat hot pot without worries that I'm going to gain weight or that boys will think i'm unattractive.
Boys are stupid. Lets throw rocks at them.
I relish in the day when I'm not paranoid about gaining weight and not fearing that I'm ugly if I gain weight. That my worth is not contingent on how much I weigh or what boys think of my body shape.
I want to be content
In the past 3 months or so, I've lost 15 odd pounds. Thankfully, I've gained 2 of it back... yay.
But a part of me doesn't want to gain the weight back.
Why?
Because I'm scared boys won't like me if I get fat.
There are 2 views on my weight:
Me: I'm good like this. I like being this shape and size and I'm ugly if I gain more weight.
Family and Friends: I don't look good like this. I need to gain more weight, in fact, I'll look better if I gain more weight.
Here's the distortion:
My BMI is borderline underweight/normal.
From what I've gathered from the male population, thin is good. Boys are attracted to small girls. Here are some quotes from guys I know:
"The smaller the better"
"Size 0 is good, don't change."
"Size matters"
"I want to date someone thin."
I care too much about what people.... no scratch that. I care too much about what boys think of me.
I used to not care about my weight. I used to eat all you can eat hot pot without worries that I'm going to gain weight or that boys will think i'm unattractive.
Boys are stupid. Lets throw rocks at them.
I relish in the day when I'm not paranoid about gaining weight and not fearing that I'm ugly if I gain weight. That my worth is not contingent on how much I weigh or what boys think of my body shape.
I want to be content
Tuesday, 24 October 2006
Gimme some sugar
I love the holidays.
Why?
Because I can bake, and bake and bake and bake.
I just finished 2 pumpkin pies. One with a graham cracker crust, and one with a flaky pastry crust. Spiced up real nice with nutmeg, cloves, ginger, cinnamon.
I love the holidays. :)
This is pie #2 and #3.
Last week I made pie #1: a marbled pumpkin cheesecake with a gingersnap cookie and walnut crust.
Whoo!!! Thanksgiving and Christmas here we come! :)
Why?
Because I can bake, and bake and bake and bake.
I just finished 2 pumpkin pies. One with a graham cracker crust, and one with a flaky pastry crust. Spiced up real nice with nutmeg, cloves, ginger, cinnamon.
I love the holidays. :)
This is pie #2 and #3.
Last week I made pie #1: a marbled pumpkin cheesecake with a gingersnap cookie and walnut crust.
Whoo!!! Thanksgiving and Christmas here we come! :)
Sunday, 22 October 2006
because I need this
Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
the Bible tells me so.
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
the Bible tells me so.
Friday, 20 October 2006
Tuesday, 17 October 2006
Gauging interest
Anyone interested in studying Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) with me? We can either meet up, or do internet chats or something fun like that. Let me know if you're interested!
Monday, 16 October 2006
The Perfect Engagement
I got the idea for the perfect engagement. (Future husband, if you're out there, please take notes).
It's sunset, or night time on a clear night. Beach, at lowtide.
Fire and ice or red rose petals and roses scattered around leading to the proposal area. Small tea lights illuminating the sand so the flames and shadows dance on the sand and water.
There's an area near the cliff. I'm bearfoot wearing something...casual/nice. He's bearfoot wearing something.... casual/nice. just finished dinner, or right before dinner at some restaurant that's sentimental. The proposal area has lots and lots of roses and tealights scattered around.
I either clam up or dump some verbal diarrhea. something like.. "WHAT THE HECK?!!!!" or "OH MY GOODNESS...." Of course the palms start sweating and we both can't stop smiling. He's nervous and fumbles for words and tries to either calm me down or ask me what i'm thinking. I'll proceed to say... "WHAT THE HECK?!" or "OH MY GOODNESS"
Then down on one knee, busting out some bling and ice. He asks, "Rosalyn (yes, please use my full name, makes it more official) will you marry me?"
I'll say... after a monumental 5 seconds that seems like an infinity, YES!!!!!
The End.
"I'm just a sentimental schmuck like all the flighty nitwits I'd always pitied. Funny how things turn out." -Kimmy from My Best Friend's Wedding
My thoughts exactly, Kimmy, my thoughts exactly.
It's sunset, or night time on a clear night. Beach, at lowtide.
Fire and ice or red rose petals and roses scattered around leading to the proposal area. Small tea lights illuminating the sand so the flames and shadows dance on the sand and water.
There's an area near the cliff. I'm bearfoot wearing something...casual/nice. He's bearfoot wearing something.... casual/nice. just finished dinner, or right before dinner at some restaurant that's sentimental. The proposal area has lots and lots of roses and tealights scattered around.
I either clam up or dump some verbal diarrhea. something like.. "WHAT THE HECK?!!!!" or "OH MY GOODNESS...." Of course the palms start sweating and we both can't stop smiling. He's nervous and fumbles for words and tries to either calm me down or ask me what i'm thinking. I'll proceed to say... "WHAT THE HECK?!" or "OH MY GOODNESS"
Then down on one knee, busting out some bling and ice. He asks, "Rosalyn (yes, please use my full name, makes it more official) will you marry me?"
I'll say... after a monumental 5 seconds that seems like an infinity, YES!!!!!
The End.
"I'm just a sentimental schmuck like all the flighty nitwits I'd always pitied. Funny how things turn out." -Kimmy from My Best Friend's Wedding
My thoughts exactly, Kimmy, my thoughts exactly.
Friday, 13 October 2006
Naked
Is there something in particular that you own that if you don't have it, you feel naked? (i.e. phone, watch, earrings, contacts.)
That's not what I wanted to talk about but, ::venting:: I LOST MY SWIMMING GEAR :(
Stupid me forgot to pack it up, and now someone is going around swimming in a blue speedo swimsuit with a tyr pair of googles and silicone swim cap. :( :( :( and i just got them less than a month ago. :( :( :(
boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
That's not what I wanted to talk about but, ::venting:: I LOST MY SWIMMING GEAR :(
Stupid me forgot to pack it up, and now someone is going around swimming in a blue speedo swimsuit with a tyr pair of googles and silicone swim cap. :( :( :( and i just got them less than a month ago. :( :( :(
boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Monday, 9 October 2006
victim
I always thought, being the victim is always better than being the one at fault. Unfortunately, I took it to the extreme. That in every action, someone was out to get me, someone had a ill-willed statement/behavior towards me and that I didn't do anything and I was the victim.
Oh, how wrong I am.
Today, I was writing a letter in class. It's a letter I've been working on for the past week or so and while I was writing, something clicked. I thought, why am I always taking the victim position?
Here is the distortion:
1) not everyone is out to get me
2) i'm overlooking my own evilness in lashing out at other people.
There's a difference between being a martyr and hurting for a cause and being a baby and hurting at everything. There's a difference between feeling worthless and true humility.
Taking the position of "I am not the victim" solves a number of issues that I've been struggling with:
1) I personalize EVERYTHING. Every negative statement, comment, behavior is aimed at me and people are saying that I am a bad person. (that's overkill)
2) I have the choice to let certain things bother me, hurt me or anger me. I also have the choice to not be phased and to just be chill. (I vote for being chill)
3) I am not a helpless babe. (in both senses of the word, "babe.") My actions have consequences on others like others' actions have consequences on me. I can enact change.
4) I cannot expect other people to be phased by everything that I say. I hope to expect to be listened to, but my word isn't law. God's word is.
5) I don't need to seek retribution because I am not the victim. I am not helpless because I can give it all to God. I don't have the power to judge or to change people, but God has. (I call this in the pride of victimization. The thought is "they deserve to know what they did." Actually, no, I don't have the responsibility to tell them. It is the Holy Spirit that convicts and moves in the hearts of people, not me)
Something just clicked. It's going to come back, but I rejoice at the fact that this click happened. That I was convicted in my own sin and have action points to work on to improve.
Thanks God
Oh, how wrong I am.
Today, I was writing a letter in class. It's a letter I've been working on for the past week or so and while I was writing, something clicked. I thought, why am I always taking the victim position?
Here is the distortion:
1) not everyone is out to get me
2) i'm overlooking my own evilness in lashing out at other people.
There's a difference between being a martyr and hurting for a cause and being a baby and hurting at everything. There's a difference between feeling worthless and true humility.
Taking the position of "I am not the victim" solves a number of issues that I've been struggling with:
1) I personalize EVERYTHING. Every negative statement, comment, behavior is aimed at me and people are saying that I am a bad person. (that's overkill)
2) I have the choice to let certain things bother me, hurt me or anger me. I also have the choice to not be phased and to just be chill. (I vote for being chill)
3) I am not a helpless babe. (in both senses of the word, "babe.") My actions have consequences on others like others' actions have consequences on me. I can enact change.
4) I cannot expect other people to be phased by everything that I say. I hope to expect to be listened to, but my word isn't law. God's word is.
5) I don't need to seek retribution because I am not the victim. I am not helpless because I can give it all to God. I don't have the power to judge or to change people, but God has. (I call this in the pride of victimization. The thought is "they deserve to know what they did." Actually, no, I don't have the responsibility to tell them. It is the Holy Spirit that convicts and moves in the hearts of people, not me)
Something just clicked. It's going to come back, but I rejoice at the fact that this click happened. That I was convicted in my own sin and have action points to work on to improve.
Thanks God
Friday, 6 October 2006
India?
I know I'm being a little flighty, but how cool would it be to go to India? Really need to keep this in prayer, but it would be an AWESOME experience.
Program Details
yeah, prayer.
In other news, TAIWAN, HONG KONG!!!! ^_^ Winter 2006. VICTORY! :D <3 aZN prYdE~!
Program Details
yeah, prayer.
In other news, TAIWAN, HONG KONG!!!! ^_^ Winter 2006. VICTORY! :D <3 aZN prYdE~!
Sunday, 1 October 2006
Pumpkin Patch Kids
The pumpkin patch across the street has now opened.
You know what that means...
PUMPKIN PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :)
The days of making a dozen pumpkin pies is now behind me and I'm a new pumpkin pie person. The old has gone the new, more inventive baker has arrived.
This year, I'm thinking flaky, crumbly crust with a slightly spicy pumpkin puree filling with a topping of chocolate mousse.
I'm so excited. :)
You know what that means...
PUMPKIN PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :)
The days of making a dozen pumpkin pies is now behind me and I'm a new pumpkin pie person. The old has gone the new, more inventive baker has arrived.
This year, I'm thinking flaky, crumbly crust with a slightly spicy pumpkin puree filling with a topping of chocolate mousse.
I'm so excited. :)
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