Roz's Take on the World

Flock

2011-03-10T22:37:00.000-08:00

Taken from the Vatican, 2010

There's something so tender about this scene. It's one of those insignificant passerby sculptures on the way to the Sistine Chapel, but for some reason this one in particular struck me. I'm not going into how Western-centric Jesus' presumed resemblance is, but the fact that Jesus carrying one lamb is so significant and how the sheep are following. Sheep are dumb, they don't know their right from their left and they don't know if they're walking to their death, but they trust this figure in front of them to protect them, to lead them and to even sacrifice for them. That's a big deal.

"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - and I lay down my life for the sheep." -John 10:14-15

bleeding

2011-02-17T18:00:00.000-08:00

bife de lomo, medium rare. guess how many grams (or oz)!

Napa

2011-02-13T01:34:00.000-08:00

I'm up late because I can't sleep. In school this used to be normal, but now it's inhuman.

Funny how things can change over the course of a couple years.

Ladies

2011-02-11T11:38:00.000-08:00

My first try at this revealed that the ladies turned out too orange. Any girl will tell you that orange is NOT good.

.....and i just got a visual image of oompa loompas.

Tribute

2011-02-09T12:12:00.000-08:00

Recoleta National Cemetery, Buenos Aires, Argentina

The Sunset

2011-02-08T12:43:00.000-08:00

Santorini, Greece

argentina is famous for...

2011-02-03T10:16:00.000-08:00

SIDES! (no... jk, check out those red meat beauties at 2 and 10 o'clock)

Perito Moreno.

2011-02-03T10:15:00.000-08:00

see picasaweb.google.com/rozcng/argentina for full size.

park city, UT

2011-01-30T15:44:00.000-08:00

The Fur Child

2011-01-30T13:32:00.000-08:00

This is what has been distracting me from the photos from the past few months.

my cup overflows.

2010-08-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

2010-07-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

meet gabe. in santa cruz last year.

Marscapone

2010-06-23T12:05:00.000-07:00

YUM!

the acropolis at night

2010-06-20T17:55:00.000-07:00

my first attempt at shooting in raw and using photoshop. thoughts? critique?

Hi :)

2009-08-21T18:58:00.000-07:00

i got this badboy in the mail today

2009-02-02T21:20:00.000-08:00

yup. let the residency interviews, project doing, wedding planning, graduating from pharmacy school continue and let the boards studying commence!

;alsdfj aldksfj ;asldfkj ::pulls hair out::

Bring on the ice...

2008-10-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

this is for everyone who's curious about the bling. yup. it's oval cut.
And that's a glass of Charles Krug pinot noir. Some pretty freaking good wine, dude.

Perspective

2008-10-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

For a few years, now... I run up this hill every once in a while. It's about 7 flights up stairs up to this park called Grand View. From the bottom, it's nothing special, really except for maybe the graffiti that litters the walls. A lot of times after getting up the third flight of stairs after running up to the stairs from my house I think "why am i doing this? it's so hard." And yet I press on towards the goal... almost heavenward. But when you get to the top...the climb is worth it. The pacific ocean to the left, golden gate park and golden gate bridge straight forward, downtown and the bay to the right.

I come up here for perspective. To get away from the mess, the emotion, from everything that seems to be going wrong. When I'm up here i feel small in a big world. It puts me in my place and everything is right. I'm constantly reminded of the power and majesty that my Creator has and that there's nothing to worry about.

Now, I have more of a reason to love that place. I can share it with someone. From that moment on, I pledged my life to a man whom I trust, someone to stand beside and who will make that run to the bottom of the hill and climb those 7 flights with me. Everytime I think about it, I'm overwhelmed with love. There's someone who loves me and who's willing to share in these things like this little park on top of a hill.

On Saturday, with #9 clues in hand, a handful of roses and full of expectancy, I once again climbed those 7 flights of stairs to find Gabriel up there waiting to share this moment with me. My eyes kept scanning the top of the hill looking for him. When our eyes found each other, I know this was it. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this one person. I can't imagine sharing this place with anyone else. Especially with him, especially here, everything is right.

I love you. :)

five more days

2008-09-22T20:31:00.000-07:00

it's been six weeks since my last post.

haven't posted simply because i had no time and didn't have anything interesting to post, or my posts would have gotten me kicked out of pharmacy school.

five more days and i'll have my own thoughts again.

dude

2008-08-02T09:15:00.001-07:00

FIVE MORE DAYS OF ORTHOSURG LEFT!

5 days, and it's party time.

Imperfection

2008-07-30T06:41:00.000-07:00

This rotation has taught me to accept imperfection.

My friend told me that this rotation will force me to not be a perfectionist. And to be honest, it absolutely has. As painful as it is and as much as I hate it, i'm learning.

Mistakes are bound to happen. And when they do, the right thing to do is NOT condemnation. I can't beat myself up everytime I make a mistake. I've been doing that and it doesn't work. But yesterday while running... (i feel like I get so much clarity when I run and it's just me and my ipod), I was reminded God's grace covers me. I will make mistakes and I'm messed up. But things are finished and I'm given grace.

Perhaps if I make a fatal mistake in the hospital, I won't be given much grace, or if I'm a licensed pharmacist, but that's ok. Learning to deal with it.

this is for all those RGP contact wearers out there

2008-07-23T07:14:00.000-07:00

Recently I bought a bottle of Boston Simplus solution. It's marketed as a one bottle, one-stop shop for all of my contact cleaning and disinfecting needs. It cleans, disinfects, cushions and even removes proteins from my precious contacts. What goes through my head is... three bottles whittled down to only one bottle needed? psshaawww... i'm in.

Little did I know that my eyes and my poor little contacts don't like boston simplus. They're better than the target or walgreens brand generic solution, but i have high maintenance eyes that require Boston Advanced Solution, cleaner and enzymatic protein remover. that's three bottles at $10 each compared to one bottle at $15. what princesses.

so LISTEN TO YOUR EYES! if you find yourself using a new type of solution and you feel more discomfort, go back to what works. It's so distracting to have uncomfortable eyes and having to blink and fix the contacts all the time. People think I'm not doing too well.

BAH!!!!

2008-07-17T06:55:00.000-07:00

I want to:

scrapbook

go to sleep after sunset and wake up after sunrise

be able to show my cousin all the "secrets" of san francisco

bum around

Homemade

2008-07-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

Today I went to: the first annual Renegade Craft Faire in san francisco.

There were a bunch of booths selling anything from recycled journals from old books, to homemade posters and jewelery to my favorite: letterpress cards. I ended up buying three sets of cards and a nice smelling candle for my room. These homemade fairs are pretty addicting and it infuses me with creativity that I wish I had to make my own jewelery, soap, silk-screened t-shirts and even coats. Everything there was really cute and very modern. With the advent of YouTube and blogger, this "DIY" universe has taken a whole new meaning when individuals unleash their creative side and start a full on mercantile business that's all their own. That's pretty cool.

Numbers

2008-07-05T15:20:00.001-07:00

My new orthosurgery rotation:

time to report to the hospital every morning: 5am

hours worked on monday: 14

total hours this week: 50 in 4 days.

July 4th weekend:

all you want to eat potluck at brian and jeff's

watching foggy fireworks with christina and buddy

fillmore jazz festival - meeting up with pat, brian, jeff, ken, angela

walking around sipping bittersweet chocolate mocha, looking at photos, art, shopping and listening to some awesome jazz on a beautiful sunny day in san francisco.

the weekend after my first week of orthosurg is turning out to be pretty awesome and it's only saturday. :)

Stop and Stare

2008-06-29T06:57:00.001-07:00

I recently got a shipment of CDs from BMG music and what's currently playing? OneRepublic.

yup.

Anyway, I just finished another 6-week block on the liver transplant service. Why am I blogging at 7am on a Sunday morning, you ask? I'm training to wake up at 4:30 to get to the hospital by 5am for the infamous Orthosurgery rotation which starts tomorrow.

I've had a lot of thoughts these past 6 weeks about work, life and the future and I suppose this is one of those soul searching entries that should probably be in my private journal, but whatever. Public self revelation is the best, eh?

I'm learning how to speak up, how to slow down, how to function on a global schedule that I don't really make on my own. In big groups, I'm usually reserved and I watch. It takes a long time for me to decompress and my mind starts racing when I'm stressed and when I had classes, I liked to stroll in 20 minutes late and sleep whenever I wanted, now on time is the norm and i'm hitting my bed by 9pm.

In the midst of all of that learning, I've failed to put God as the priority for the past 6 weeks. I was functioning with the impression of being constantly evaluated by my preceptor, my resident and friends. My behavior, my thinking, my words are evaluated and that was at the forefront. I've run dry and this past week, I've slowly gotten a few drops at a time of the well that God provides to keep me alive.

God has been gracious to Roz. Through all my sin, all the lies floating around in my head, Jesus stopped for me. Well not JUST me, but you know what I'm talking about.

Some people don't stop for others. When someone's hurting on the road, they pass through to do the next thing they need to do. But Jesus stopped for me. I forget that, even though I shouldn't.

Roz, you've freely recieved, now freely give.

anti-stalker

2008-06-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

Someone on the UCSF network has googled my whole name and looked at this humble blog of mine. is it weird that i check who stalks me?

Also, someone in New York City with Windows vista.

and someone from Denali Software, but we all know who this is.

if you come to my website, i know your network, what kind of internet you have, your IP address, the type of program you're using, your resolution and from which website you came from.

who's the stalker now?! haHA...

i do this because i totally stalk people, too.

On Training Wheels

2008-05-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

For the past 5.5 weeks, I've graduated from pouring over books and literature, studying for stressful tests to being able to somewhat contribute productively to society instead of leeching resources and knowledge from the brains of my teachers. Instead, I'm now doing (and still learning at the same time) and not getting paid for it. (..alas, the paycheck will come with the responsibility) Right now, I feel like I'm back when I was seven and learning how to ride a bike with training wheels. I don't have the risk of hurting myself or other people with my medication counseling, filling, checking, typing, recommendations. I always have a final check, a safety net that my preceptors have set up for me at work. hella easy, that's norcal speak for all of you socalers. I'm still getting used to the training wheels, gaining confidence with just the pedaling. I'm learning how to deal with demanding doctors, demanding patients, demanding colleagues.
The tricky question is what happens when the training wheels are taken off? I no longer have the check after me. After graduation, in about a year, I'll be the final check and I could have interns working under me. ooooo let's not pull on that string just yet.

I've learned that even if you have the perfect answer but respond timidly, people won't take it. In this culture (America or whatever western developed world you live in), confidence is i'd say 75% of it. You may not have the best answer, but if you say it confidently, darnit, people will listen to you. Coming from Ms. Timid, this has been a huge challenge. Sure I can be all confident on my own blog. shoot, but telling people what to take for their sickness? i... well,... you could try... yeah... try that. I'll mumble something and hope that it'll be right.

NO ROZ

Put your head up. Make eye contact. Smile. Say it with confidence. No one's gonna listen to someone who mumbles or stutters.

yes that's right. I'm talking to myself. maybe i'm talking to my constituency... whatever.

I'll end with something I say a million times a day: Thanks for calling Safeway Pharmacy, I hope you have a nice day!

Mid-20s

2008-04-11T11:50:00.000-07:00

It's been more than a few weeks since my birthday, but I wanted to blog about turning 25.

There's this friends episode where Rachel is lamenting her situation as she turns 30 and Tag makes this comment: "I totally know how you feel, Rachel. I'm so freaked out about turning 25."

Rachel retorts with, "ok, get out."

I just thought that was pretty relevant because I just turned 25 and was thinking a lot about aging and birthdays.

Last year, I promised myself that this would be the best year ever and it actually turned out true. My 24th was the best year of my life I can say with a lot of confidence. Why? I think it was because it followed a couple miserable years and the contrast made this year so much sweeter. My relationship with my parents, my friends and above all, with God has changed. My default mood has been joyful and it just kind of feeds on itself.

I can now rent a car.

But the prospect of ever deteriorating fertility is this cloud looming over my head. Of course I dream of getting married and having kids, but I have to realize that it's all in God's timing. To be honest, I think about the perfect engagement, the perfect wedding cake and the perfect invitation for the least amount of money. I suppose girls think about that stuff, but I've learned that all of that is overshadowed by living in the present and enjoying the company and relationship I have now.

I can't worry about tomorrow for today has enough worries for itself. Today's worries include how and when I'm going to exercise, how I'm going to cook my Alfredo and egg noodles for lunch and what time I need to take the CalTrain. I gotta say, those aren't even worries at all. And i'm so thankful for the fact that God has been so good to me this past year.

Restaurant Reviews

2008-04-08T19:29:00.000-07:00

Bistro Aix

We came here for my birthday (thanks guys!). I found this while browsing on yelp and I wanted to try a new restaurant with good food somewhere outside of the sunset district. The people in our party ordered braised pork pasta, ahi tuna, lamb chop steaks, and thin crust pizza. It was pretty good, but I was a little disappointed because I wanted to try the fixed price menu that they have for parties under 8 people. We all tried each others dishes and ooohed and aaahhhed at what everyone ordered. We ordered a bottle of wine from France. It went really well with my braised pork dish. One goal before I die is to know the basics of wine. To be able to tell the difference between a good wine and a bad wine and to know basic pairings of food/dessert with a specific wine. Right now, all I know is similar things flock together. White wine with white meat, red wine with red meat and sweet wines with dessert/chocolates.

Fresca

This place is HOPPIN'. This is a watering hole for young attractive young professionals to congregate, break bread and perhaps score a little. :P The restaurant specializes in Peruvian food from ceviches to paella. We had the paella and the pulled chicken stew with potatoes and egg. In one word each, paella: awesome, stew: mediocre. The paella had clams, mussels, scallops, fish, chicken, corn, peas, rice. It was SOOOOOO full of flavor. Yeah, pretty darn good dude. I want to learn how to make paella, but I probably won't be able to make it as well as this place, or Peru/Spain or any spanish speaking country. I'd go again to try the ceviches. The ambiance is pretty nice, although it's pretty crowded and you can't hold a conversation without raising your voice...so not a place where you want to talk. There were a lot of well-dressed people there. I was wearing jeans and a track jacket and felt a little underdressed, but oh well. It was a satisfying dinner nevertheless.

Briefs and Shorts

2008-04-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

1) Turning 25 was surreal. more later...

2) I just spent 2 hours working on 2 pages of my scrapbook.

3) I've started a 40-hour lifestyle. And the kicker is, I'm paying tuition to work at Safeway

4) My orchid is blooming again and it makes me happy. :)

5) Home was awesome. Steve's, Guppy House, Sand Castle, Prince Caspian

6) No Country for Old Men is a FREAKY movie. Javier Bordem freaking earned his Oscar. shoot.

Show and Tell

2008-03-26T19:01:00.000-07:00

For the Easter Weekend, we went on a marvelous trip to Yosemite! (my favorite place in the world). We got to...
Cross country ski. It's exactly like being on a nordic track. It gives you a ridiculous workout, but going downhill is so fun. Not so fun when falling, but gliding...so fun.
Hike to the top of Yosemite Falls. This is what we did on Easter Sunday. Had a little worship/bible study in the valley and set out hiking in the afternoon. It was a lot of climbing, but the view and the snow was fun to be around.
take a relaxing walk to Mirror Lake. It really looks like a mirror. It was so still and early enough that the mosquitoes weren't out yet. It was really beautiful.
Here's my art shot of the trip. I wish I could have improved the picture composition a little bit. I'll work on that the next time. But yeah this is one of my favorite pictures from the trip.
And of course, you can't forget the view of the valley. This is take from the south entrance tunnel. All in all... it was such a good way to celebrate Easter. :)

My Almost Perfect Day

2008-03-17T22:54:00.000-07:00

So after a long-hard quarter, I have 2 weeks off. What does a girl do in San Francisco on vacation? See the sights! Today was such a perfect day to be outside, I decided to take advantage of it.

I rode around Golden Gate Park a little bit. Wandered around the DeYoung, Music Concourse and new Academy of Sciences building.

That's my bike in the foreground, but I think I broke her. :(

This is one of my favorite pictures. something about sun, flowers and straight lines makes for a really interesting picture.
This is a small memorial to the Holocause near the Legion of Honor. There are a lot of these scattered around the country (i.e. Boston, New York, LA, SF) and are reminders of a very powerful message that I can't shake out of my head.
This is a plaque commemorating the first Japanese consulate in San Francisco after World War II.
Picnicking with Good Luck Dim Sum and the Conservatory of Flowers.

Why was it an almost perfect day? I actually rode to the legion of honor because there was an annie leibovitz exhibit as well as the dead sea scrolls on display and it was CLOSED! Also, I wanted to get jook instead of shu mai from good luck dim sum, but that's ok. It was still good. All in all... almost perfect day.

Change of <3

2008-03-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

It's been 19 years since I started school and I just finished my last class. Granted today wasn't really for learning, but still. It's kind of monumental that it was our last class ever. Needless to say that I've been complaining, griping, whining about not wanting to go to class or study that I didn't think about the fact that today is our last class ever.

This is what I read this morning:
Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16: 7)

Popular verse, eh?
I didn't think of it when I first read it, but upon thinking about how the Lord looks into my heart, I was immediately convicted that it was most definitely *NOT* in the right place. I was just looking forward to the end so much that the thought had escaped me that I'm finishing. I had failed to consider that I've worked so hard in school for almost 2 decades that finishing well is paramount.

It's something that I prayed for forgiveness on the way to class. That these last three days of finals would be just that. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, a goal in sight. It's not just about the celebration that's to come, patting myself on the back at the end but the means of getting there. I ask for prayer from those who believe. That the Lord would look at my heart from now until Friday 4pm and be pleased with it.

Monumental

2008-03-05T18:18:00.000-08:00

Today was a monumental day.

I actually uninstalled AIM from my computer. Let's just take a moment and let that sink in.

AIM and my screen name, OutOfDaBleu, has been a huge part of my life for the past decade. Wow. that's a long time. From late nights chatting with my high school crush to scheduling meetings to venting about how much we have to memorize in pharmacy school.

I actually discovered that this new version of AIM six was eating up so much of my computer that the costs outweigh the benefits of having the program actually being installed on my computer.

So, AIM, I bid thee farewell. It's been a good run and now I'm leaving you for Google Talk.

Deal catcher + Sundries

2008-02-26T09:38:00.000-08:00

I get a rush when I find a good deal. Many can attest to this, but my family and I are pretty anal about finding good deals and I am no exception. so...

FREE CONE DAY at ben and jerry's april 29.

And if i had space for it I would get this. Only 6.99!!

At any rate, I must post about a recent restaurant adventure:
1300 Fillmore

I gotta say, I thought it would be in the western addition in an unsafe neighborhood. Lo and behold, it's located in the Fillmore (on fillmore) right next to the new Yoshi's, Boom Boom room and a really good Korean BBQ restaurant.
The decor/ambiance was really nice. There is a bar/lounge area where a live jazz band plays and the dining room full of cushy seats and even a private room for large parties. They had a special flight menu for Black history month with wines featured from wineries owned by African Americans which I thought was pretty cool. Now on to the food. Soul food meets french. We had corn bread instead of foccacia or something else and a tangy jam with a little bit of a kick. Hot from the oven, too. So good. Entrees were lamb chops with sausage, mushroom and tomato confit (that is the BEST COMBINATION EVAR) and braised beef with spinach and mashed potatoes. Tasty. i can actually still remember the taste in my mouth and now i'm totally salivating. For dessert, we go the chocolate trio. Orange-chocolate ice cream, molten chocolate tart and cruncy chocolate/peanut butter bar. SO GOOD.

The live jazz just added to the experience.

I would return, but as my wandering heart would have it. I'd want to try other restaurants in San Francisco before returning.

Jade
$2 cocktails on Sundays. 'nuff said.

This past weekend we went to Tahoe for a ski retreat with fellowship people and I have to blog about this because it's such a big accomplishment. But I actually was able to somewhat keep up with people more advanced than I and board sort of efficiently on blacks! Granted it was at Northstar where blacks are like blues, but whatever. It was one of the best boarding days I've ever had. Experiencing improvement gives me a rush, too.

It's not personal...

2008-02-21T14:55:00.000-08:00

Before I started pharmacy school, I had this idealistic view of the profession as completely altruistic. It would lean towards social justice: serving the underserved, advancing medicine to a world that needs it.

Slowly now, I've come to realize that pharmacy is a business. I was struck by that very strongly on my first day and today, as I work on a business proposal for my management and administration class, I believe it even more.

I never thought of myself as ever selling myself on the job market or negotiating or networking but that's what I've been doing for the past three years. The science and the therapeutics is the arsenal of knowledge I'm equipped with. Along with that we're taught these other things like business and management so that we can better market ourselves to others who may or may not know what the heck we're all about.

And what's so deeply personal to me as been soldered together with the impersonal in order for the world can understand.

Yearning for Connection

2008-02-11T12:47:00.000-08:00

It's been three years out of college and I never thought I'd lose contact with college friends. But much to my dismay, I've discovered that the proximity factor holds true. I was told that you need to make an effort to stay in contact with the friends that you've made or else you or they will fall by the wayside of friendship.

Something that I never realized I was doing was complaining about how people have forgotten me and how I've fallen by the wayside, but that is not the case. School has been busy. What used to be a thriving community in physical form has been reduced down to an ISP address on my blog's anti-stalking device.

Three years removed from college and you see a lot of changes, but someone close to me said that true friends aren't ones you just go to birthday parties. True friends are there with you through the busy-ness, the mundane and the time. But one thing I can take stock in is the present. Not to worry about the past or how old college friends have moved on to bigger and better things, but I also have moved on to bigger and better things. The good old days (or semi-recent, whatever you want to call college) are over, but the present can be sooooo much better if I choose to look at it that way.

The Warfield

2008-02-07T12:55:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about whether or not I want to comment on the artists or the venue or both.

Last night a bunch of us went to see Sara B and James Blunt at the Warfield. I haven't been to a concert like this since my Savage Garden craze of 2000-2001 and it was fun times. I gotta say, Winnie got me into Sara B and she's just as good (or even better) live than on her album. That's how good she is. Stage presence was there, she got everyone excited (which was what an opening act should do) and she closed with my favorite song, Gravity. I like it 'cause it sounds good and every artist has a signature song that sends chills up everyone's spine when they sing it and Gravity does that for her.

Oh, and James Blunt was pretty good. 'nuff said.

Clear as Day

2008-01-28T12:17:00.000-08:00

I <3 my new contacts.

Why? I can see soooo much more clearly. It's not that my eyes got worse, but it's 'cause I've put my old contacts through so much abuse that they're warped and scratched. Examples:
1) Most recently popped out on a club dance floor. I almost didn't look for them, but when I did, they were on the floor. of a club. on the dance floor where there's spillage and who knows where some of these feet have been.
2) Accidentally dropped them when I was backpacking. on rock and dirt.
3) Multiple times on my bathroom floor.

Yeah. Oh well. New ones = awesome. :)

Bushi-Tei
Dine About Town San Francisco was going on since last week and I went with some friends to Bushi-Tei in Japantown. I gotta say, my first impression was: Oh my goodness the service is impeccable. Why? Japanese service is unrivaled in the world. We had a large party and the owner stood by the door, hailed taxis for the restaurant patrons, took pictures for us and even separated our umbellas so we could get them out easily. The wait staff was softspoken, yet knowledgable and very patient with us. We had scallops, halibut and white chocolate mousse. The scallops were very good, the individual parts of the halibut dish were very good, but I would question them together and the white chocolate mousse was amazing. I would have liked a more intimate table. Our party sat on two sides of a table and four feet separated us, but it's ok, we still had good conversation and a good time.

This is me getting integrated into the 408 area or Cupertino (more affectionately called "CPT") much to the disapproval of Winnie and Debbie. :)

Highlights

2008-01-26T10:56:00.000-08:00

Las Vegas was definitely SO FUN.

Of course it's so intense I'd limit trips to Vegas once every year or two, or three....

but so fun.

Here's why:
stuck a dollar into the slot machine... AND WON 5 BUCKS!
Seeing O, the show I've wanted to see in Vegas since the Bellagio opened.
Bellagio Buffet
Tryst and gettin' low
Two words: water show :)
Taking fun pictures
Seeing celebrities (Andy Garcia and some R&B dude who performed at Tryst for someone's birthday)
Staying at a 5-star hotel
Swimming in a 5-star pool (and getting to use my new tankini that i got for 50% off :D)

and

Midday Break

2008-01-16T12:43:00.000-08:00

I just took an hour to wander around randomly on the internet (namely facebook, travel websites and deal websites) for no particular reason. I'm starting to wonder maybe I should use my leisure time for something more productive than wandering.

Which brings me to productivity...
sometimes it's hit or miss with me. I can be studying with people. some days are ULTRA productive, some days are NOT productive at all. I can be studying by myself. Some days are ULTRA productive, some days are NOT productive at all.

But the idea of something coming is motivation to be more productive than baseline.

So along that thought, I'm totally looking forward to Vegas.

2 Restaurants, 2 Coasts

2008-01-10T15:37:00.000-08:00

Petit Robert Bistro

I went here with my sister when I was in Boston. Friends on the East Coast, if you live in Boston or travel to Boston regularly, this is a restaurant you should try. Voted Best Affordable French of Boston and I totally agree. My sister and I both had the Onion Soup and we shared a chicken crepe. The onion soup was SOOO GOOOOOD. For those of you who know, I have these cyclical dairy cravings and oh my goodness, that cheese totally hit the spot. Also, the chicken crepe was so full of flavor, but it wasn't all fat. It was peppers and herbs that made it taste amazing. We also saw other peoples desserts and there was this one chocolate dessert that was basically a chocolate model of the Eiffel Tower. Pretty awesome.

Yum. :)

Home
Christina and I went to this restaurant because their special that day was Chicken Pot Pie. Yeah. If you know RozStina well enough, you'll know that we <3 chicken pot pie. And this was no exception. No fillers, lots of chicken. There's also a prix fixe menue from 5-6pm every day where they serve a 3-course special with a glass of wine for $12. Unfortunately we missed that, but we did catch happy hour (5-7pm every day) and caught their half-off cocktails. Of course, yours truly was being clumsy and stupid and I knocked down my glass and FREAKING BROKE IT! ::sigh:: But the service was so nice. Nice enough to clean up the mess I had made and provided me with a new "homegirl" (yes, the cocktail is called a "homegirl") even though I had a few sips of the original. But all in all, home was sort of like home, but not really. It was a mish-mash or the living-room fire, nice comfortable couch pillows mixed with upbeat bar music and metal tables and chairs. Interesting mix, but turns out to be a fun dinner.

Thunderclap, YEAH!!

2008-01-05T21:18:00.000-08:00

i realize that I have a lot of irrational, perfectionist, ocd tendencies:
1) I'm always afraid that I smell. So I guess I have to constantly surround myself with good smelling things/people.
2) I can't mix food. Or else the pure taste of each dish will be contaminated with the taste of another.
3) when i'm making an outline or a chart to study off of, i'm so ocd about formatting. everything has to be centered where it's centered, the right size, the right thickness of the chart lines.
4) settlers board. ('nuff said)
5) my room is symmetrical. if there's asymmetry, it really bothers me.

ok i think 5 is enough. just imagine if i were a germaphobe. it's game over, dude.

While I was in Boston, I asked God to reveal to me areas that weren't pleasing to him and this past week, He showed me. In a big way.

I'm the type of person who'd make new year's resolutions, which is why I asked God for that. What I got back wasn't an idea for a new year's resolution, but a deep seeded struggle that'll take a lifetime (almost) to work out.

CONTENTMENT

I feel like I've dealt with this issue ad nauseum but, apparently God isn't finished with me yet. I've been reminded multiple times this week that God does give and takes away. None of this is without permission and blessing and none should be taken for granted. I was reading... the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. I shall not want. In David's 23rd Psalm, he addresses contentment straight on. But how he describes this not wanting is not what he DOESN'T have, but what he DOES have. Being led beside still waters, green pastures and having a restored soul. That was something that I soaked up like blistex to chapped lips on a cold day. The soothing salve of the Bible, once again has smoothed out my ruffled frustration and a familiar passage has taught me something new.

Those are the best. :)

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T13:29:00.000-08:00

So this year, we had the privilege of going to Boston for Christmas to visit my sister. I'm still there, actually, and it's Christmas today. Anywho...It's been a good couple of days so far. So yeah...

Merry Christmas! Celebrating Christ's birth on the other coast.

Walden Pond

A Myth Retold

2007-12-21T14:16:00.000-08:00

Reading Till We Have Faces reminds me why I love C.S. Lewis as a writer. I've read Lion, Witch and Wardrobe, this one was a full on novel more for adults than children. Lewis retells the story of Cupid and Psyche from the perspective of Psyche's older sister Orual. Set in what feels like an ancient near eastern civilization called "Glome." One of the major themes of the book is beauty and ugliness paralleled with pure and profane love. According to myth Psyche as beauty that surpasses even the beauty of Venus (Cupid's mother). Though this was the main plotline in the original myth, it wasn't even addressed in the novel. Anyway, coming back to beauty and ugliness. Psyche is beautiful and Orual is ugly.

The novel follows Orual as she becomes queen of her own country, a queen that keeps her face veiled because of her ugliness, but by her actions and behavior legends arise telling of how she is veiled because she is so beautiful beyond what anyone can handle. So there is this struggle where Orual tries to reconcile herself to make up for her ugliness as well as her love for her sister Psyche.

I don't have a good segue to this next quote (granted English class is 4 years ago, but here is the title written into the story:

"When the time comes to you at which you will be forced at last to utter the speech which has lain at the center of your soul for years, which you have, all that time, idiot-like, been saying over and over, you'll not talk about joy of words. I saw well why the gods do not speak to us openly, nor let us answer. Till that word can be dug out of us, why should they hear the babble that we think we mean? How can they meet us face to face till we have faces?"

Guppy's

2007-12-20T21:40:00.000-08:00

So there's this Cerritos place called guppy's. It's tropical themed that serves xiao chi (little eats) like shaved ice, popcorn chicken, boba among other things. But the thing about guppy's is their shaved ice is GINORMOUS. Check it out.

So there's this thing called the guppy special. It comes with a small shaved ice (shown above), an order of popcorn chicken and an order of brick toast which is shown off to the side. Notice the strawberry, mango and redbean toppings. If you think the small is huge, check out the large. This split between four people after dinner resulted in "OH MY GOODNESS I'M SO FULL" and having to go #2 just to make room. Too graphic? But yeah. This place is pretty fun. Oh the guppy special comes out to about $17. Split among four people... we barely finished it all.

Notice the unfinished popcorn chicken that had to be taken home. But dude, this is ultimate bingeing food. And it's so good.

I'd go back again, shoot.

Comfort

2007-12-14T15:16:00.000-08:00

Dude, check this out. $5 on sale at Old Navy. I'm going home to LA this weekend. We're gonna have good food, relax, go do Christmas stuff, hang out with friends. It's going to be an awesome, VERY comfortable weekend. :)

Thinking about comfort, I recently discovered how to make pork and preserved vegetable noodle soup. So good.

The simple comforts like warm slippers and warm noodle soup make me so happy. But I constantly think about that very Christianese saying "get out of your comfort zone." I think a lot about not being comfortable for the sake of my faith and wonder if I'd be willing to give that up, all the things that bring happiness shouldn't compare to the ultimate joy that comes from knowing God. I dunno, just thots.

I got to go to the circus!!!

2007-12-11T09:28:00.000-08:00

Last Friday was my first taste under the grand chapiteau. Kooza, the new Cirque du Soleil show that came to San Francisco is so awesome. My favorite act? The wheel of death.
These guys are DANG impressive. The photo doesn't do justice to the crazy acrobatics that they did. It was pretty dang awesome.

and... KOOZA may be coming to a city near YOU! (ahem....boston, san jose...)

Unashamed

2007-12-06T21:08:00.000-08:00

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain
This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokenness complete

Starfield

Feeling special. :)

2007-11-28T17:54:00.000-08:00

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

How powerful is that? It's impossible to even fathom what the LORD does even when we're asleep. Being sick this finals week, this passage has been especially meaningful. Youths will grow tired and weary, young men stumble and fall. But those who HOPE in the Lord will renew their strength. This strength doesn't come from me, but it's from the Lord. All I want to do now is finish well. This quarter's been hard, but I'm praying that I'll do this for Him. That I'll finish well.

Burnout

2007-11-19T19:31:00.000-08:00

I feel like I've been constantly studying for the past 2.5 months. This quarter thus far has been the academically hardest, most work intensive quarter in pharmacy school thus far simply from the sheer volume of information thrown at us since September 13.

But considering how things have been going compared to previous quarters, things have been pretty darn good. I need to force myself to see the silver lining even when I can't seem to think about anything but the test tomorrow.

Something that was so encouraging this morning was this: as I was waking up, I thought, I just need to trust God. I, Roz can fall apart at any moment and believe me it's happened. But I can't possibly hold myself together. It's God that lets me fly on wings like eagles. It says in Isaiah, that youths grow tired and weary, young men stumble and fall. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

That thought made the day so much better and it's my hope and prayer that it carries through the next few weeks.

On another note: Major congratulations to KEVIN and CONNIE who got married this past weekend. :)

GO BEARS

2007-11-10T18:12:00.001-08:00

John David Booty is not a name.

Well... not a name that won't be made fun of.

CAL-USC.... lacklustre?! Whatever, ESPN.

Go Bears

Rosalyn is....

2007-11-06T20:15:00.001-08:00

going crazy. CRAZY~~!!! ;adlskfj a;lfkj ;dlaskfj a;sdlkfj a;sdlkf j

Posting in Class

2007-11-01T10:13:00.000-07:00

I'm posting because I can and I want to.

So, new Zagat restaurants: Rotee and Conservatory at the Ritz, Half Moon Bay.

Rotee

We kind of serendipitously fell upon the restaurant whilst rushing to Berkeley to go sailing. (More on that later). It's on the corner of Haight and something in the Lower haight. The naan is really good (I like bland foods, so that is to be expected). One thing that I didn't really like was the service. EXTREMELY slow. We tried the Curry Grant. It's a little watery for my taste, but I saw the Tikka Masala which looked sooooooo creamy good that I wanted to order it in addition to our meal. At any rate, I would want to go again, just to try out the other stuff.

Conservatory Lounge at the Ritz

This actually is NOT listed in the Zagat Guide and there's a reason. For the price, the food is only ok. But of course, we didn't go for bruch (which I hear is quite good). But basically what you're paying for is the environment/ambiance. The Ritz is BEAUTIFUL. Like seirously beautiful. I enjoyed our walk around the hotel grounds better than the food. (that says something about the food).

Along the same weekend, we went sailing with the Cal Sailing Club (FOR FREE!!!). I want to learn how to sail now, but going out there even though I got a little dizzy from the boat was extremely beautiful and very restful. I'm a swimmer, so there's something about water that's very soothing.

More than Fine :)

2007-10-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

When I wake in the morning,
I want to blow into pieces.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.
When I’m up with the sunrise
I want more than just blue skies.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.

I’m not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.
I’m not giving up, giving up, not backing down.

More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.

When I’m wet with the sunshine.
I want more than just a good time.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.

I’m not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.
I’m not giving up, giving up, not selling out.

More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.

More than oceans away from the dawn.
More than oceans away from the dawn.
More than oceans away from who we are
More than oceans, more than oceans, yeah.

Switchfoot

Evolution of the Cheesecake

2007-10-20T23:44:00.000-07:00

Little did this pumpkin know, that BEFORE I bought it from the pumpkin patch, it's demise would bring satiety (sort of) to a lot of people.

Such cruel, disastrous woman! Why doth thou cut through me with a cleaver!!!

I am now but a pumpkin cheesecake with a gingersnap crust...

Kite Running and Citizen Thai

2007-10-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

We flew a kite this weekend and it was so relaxing. Stressful because I didn't want to let to and afraid that the string would snap, but relaxing seeing the kite being carried by the wind.
It makes me think a lot about how I handle life situations. I tend to worry about things and want to keep them tied down with a string. I want to keep control and I'm scared that things will fall apart when times get tough. But at the same time, I know the wind is carrying the kite. I can't see the wind, but I see the effects of the wind. I know that with God, certain things don't require such an effort to make it take flight, but He just carries it. I need to constantly be reminded of it. Just as at church on Sunday, while singing the hymns. Every day, I need to tell myself the Gospel and Jesus' loving sacrifice or else I'll lose sight of the central issues.

In other news, we ate with a bunch of friends at another Zagat Rated Restaurant: Citizen Thai and the Monkey. Located in North Beach, this tops Osha Thai and Marnee Thai on style and ambiance. It's an amazing place for a party. There were at least four large parties there. This two story restaurant has a downstairs bar/dining room along with a full upstairs. They offer a seasonal menu which includes things like Pumpkin and Chicken curry served in the pumpkin. Their appetizers were very good. The Chef's Sampler was huge and included lots of fried stuff, mango salad with a sweet oil and peanut sauce on the side. I ordered the Scallop with Yellow Curry and tried the Pad Thai. The scallops were fried and served in the curry so they turned out to be a little too soggy for my taste, but all in all, the yellow curry was just spicy enough and just sweet enough to eat with plain rice. (I know, I MIXED my food, it's a big step). This is also a good date place if you wanted to spend time in North Beach but not in the mood for Italian Food. But I think it's better and more festive for large parties.

Opera in the Ballpark

2007-10-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

Friday I did a once-in-a-lifetime act. I stood where Barry Bonds hit his record-breaking homerun, ran around to the bases and sat on the UBER soft grass that is ATT park.

Why?

Opera in the Park. Samson and Delilah were having their closing night at the SF Opera House and they decided to simulcast to ATT park for free. It was pretty awesome. What was even more awesome were these:

YES THAT'S RIGHT. Gilroy Garlic Fries. Highly recommended. So Good.

There's

2007-09-26T23:56:00.000-07:00

activity going on in the empty lot across the street from my house.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS...

PUMPKIN PATCH!!!!!!!!!

ergo...

PUMPKIN SWEETS TO GO AROUND!!!!!!!

::claps hands::

Symmetry

2007-09-24T16:49:00.000-07:00

So I decided to buy a pair of new bookcases because I have a BUTTLOAD of books and other stuff to store. So of course, only having 1.5 years left here at UCSF, I decide to go with the cheapest possible option: Ikea Flarke Bookshelves ($20 ea). After four hours, the dust has settled, carpet vacuumed and all parts more or less put together.

The symmetry is breathtaking isn't it?

New pictures on Picasa. Check it out.

Classes

2007-09-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

I have a problem. That's usually first step when dealing with problems, right? I have a problem. What's my problem? Not going to class. So far this quarter we've had 15 hours of class and I've missed 6 of them.

Today I had class at 8 and I ended up getting go class at 10. went to 2 hours of class. My reasoning for today's miss was that all of the classes have lectures of the audio. And I have a long day today with class, work and all of that.

But I've come to realize that I overestimate what I can do efficiently without getting stressed out. I've effectively become on "school" mode and automatically on school mode, i'm five hundred billion times more stressed than "work" mode or "summer" mode. I need to evaluate why that is. But anyway, my point being is that I have a limit to all the "stuff" I can do and multitasking may not be one of my strengths, either is trying to maintain a sane demeanor during school and having to "preform."

At any rate... we're going backpacking this weekend. Needless to say, it's going to be beautiful. :)

Beauty in the Brokenness

2007-09-10T21:19:00.000-07:00

City Church has this special ministry called "Open Forum." And tonight it was a conversation with artist, Makoto Fujimura at the DeYoung Museum. It was the artist's reflections on September 11th. He lived three blocks from ground zero and his studio is 9 blocks. I'm once again reminded to stop and reflect before moving on from something. An event that he had with another japanese artist after the terror was this idea of a Japanese Tea Room. It was a place of "shalom" as he called it, a place for dialogue, for learning and an exchange of ideas over tea. A place for someone to express themselves, to engage and to process what they've gone through, what God has taught them. I think people need that. I especially think I need that.

Food Critic

2007-09-09T09:53:00.000-07:00

Ever since moving to San Francisco, I've wanted to sample the UBER-good cuisine the city has to offer. I had my eye on the Zagat Restaurant book but never bought it until last week. So here's the first of many potential reviews of restaurants.

I guess I'm a foodie at heart.

A16 (Chestnut Street, Marina District)

All I gotta say is this is one of the most Yuppy restaurants I've ever been to. It's basically a restaurant of twenty-somethings and those young at heart craving some good Italian Food especially from the Campolino region of Italy. I wanted to come here because it's near my work and everytime I pass by it (even during the day) it's full of people and yesterday we had an occasion to. Well not really, but it was fun. All I gotta say is their homemade pasta is amazing. It was in this proscuitto base tomato sauce topped with grated mozzarella cheese. The noodles had enough gluten in it such that when you bite into it, it doesn't fall apart, but it's just the right level of chewy. We also tried the Marguerita Pizza. It was a little charred for my taste, but the thin crust and everything together was still pretty good.

The ambiance is nice and the waiters are trendy. All in all, I think it's a really good date place. (Winnie, I know you, Debbie and Yoona still doubt my standards of what constitutes as "date-y" but I'm sure this one is. :D)

Clean White Porcelain

2007-09-05T22:41:00.000-07:00

Yes that's right. Our pink, squishy, germy cesspool of a toilet seat is gone.

And the replacement? A clean, cool, white toilet has replaced it.

Our bathroom is good, finally. :)

Photos

2007-08-25T21:52:00.000-07:00

Hi.

Photos posted from my summer:

Vacation in China

Central Asia!!!

Quotations

2007-08-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

"In a word, live together in the forgiveness of your sins, for without it no human fellowship, least of all a marriage, can survive. Don't insist on your rights, don't blame each other, don't judge or condemn each other, don't find fault with each other, but accept each other as you are, and forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

Friends

2007-08-14T13:55:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite pictures.

Dude, I'm freaking Jetlagged.

2007-08-13T06:26:00.000-07:00

Yes that's right. So recounting the sleep cycles.... slept on Saturday morning at 2am, got up at 7am, went back to sleep at 1pm, got up at 5pm, went to bed on Sunday morning at 1am, got up at 6am, went back to bed at 12pm, woke up at 8pm, went back to bed on Monday at 1am, got up at FREAKING 5:41 AM.

that's NOT what i'm freaking talking about. shooooooot.

THIS is what happens when you slide down a mountain on your butt. Oh well, now I have a more expensive pair of jeans (according to abercrombie and fitch) and a memory out of it.

In case you didn't know...

2007-08-12T08:01:00.000-07:00

Kyrgyzstan is here.

My new "special" friend.

2007-08-11T18:37:00.000-07:00

Issy-Kul, Kyrgyzstan

Coming Home

2007-08-10T04:51:00.000-07:00

Living abroad is a very interesting concept. My roots are not in the place where I am inhabiting, and yet I've gotten into a routine and have made friends and found my niche (more or less). It is unfamiliar, yet a place where I am forced to adapt to. I am here being stretched to fit into a mold that I've never tried on.

I feel like that's a lot like how we Christians should approach our lives. I heard somewhere that our home is not of this world. That we are merely pilgrims here. We are born, we live and we die for one purpose: God. I guess those are all the thoughts in my head right now (besides the prospect of sleeping in my own bed with my baby blanket, talking to friends without having to worry about the cost and seeing familiar sights).

At any rate, in about...17 hours familiarity shall return. :)

In 8 hours

2007-06-21T18:12:00.001-07:00

I will be leaving on a big boeing 777 probably... maybe 747 to fly across the pacific ocean to the big closed country in Asia for 2 weeks and then a smaller country in central asia for 4 mo.

Pray for me.

In the last week or so.. it's been a whirlwind from finals to preparing to actually leaving.

So for the next 6 weeks, I'll be taking a brief hiatus. But on that note, I'll leave you with a beef wellington. Hopefully that will be interesting enough to look at for the next month or so.

Coming to terms...

2007-06-18T11:37:00.000-07:00

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I really do like the color pink.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm a girl and I get emotional.

Coming to terms...
About 10 months ago, I posted this.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
(Psalm 1:2-3)

This passage has been on the forefront of my mind this past year. It was my goal, it was something I wanted God to change about me and I prayed for it every night.

I feel like God has answered so many prayers this past year and taught me what it is to live abundantly abiding in Christ.

I remember in August, I was feeling really down. It was hard just to get out of bed in the morning. That feeling sucks. That hopelessness. But I think it was necessary for me to feel that way in order for God to teach me about his unconditional Love and what grace is.

I think fall quarter was all about working through and throwing out all of the skeletons in my closet. Any old shame that I was carrying, anxieties that have plagued me since childhood. But through all of that, there were good moments. In those moments, I felt like I was breathing oxygen for the first time. I could see and feel the warmth of the sun and I didn't have a care in the world. But they were just moments at a time.

Winter quarter was the transition. Moments of joy turned into days and weeks with sadness peppered within. I found community that was joyful and settlers. Haahaa, settlers is fun. I think everyone should play. It wasn't just that the game was fun, but it was the environment we had, the community. THAT was when I laughed until my side hurt. :)

Spring quarter was SO GOOOOOOOD. Now I feel like my default is joy and contentment. God is good. He's blessed me with so much and sometimes I can't help but smile and remember how good God is. I hope I never loose that. I never want to take God's power, love and grace for granted. I never ever want to take advantage of the people close to me. I want always to be thankful.

Psalm 1 was the theme of this year and it's been a good year.

Done and done.

2007-06-15T13:51:00.001-07:00

I'M DONE I'M DONE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! :D

1) San Tung with the roomates tonight!
2) Biking to Sausalito tomorrow!
3) Big Red next week!

yayayayayayayay!!!!

Reflections to come shortly.

but... ::dance dance:: I'M DONE~!!

Chinese food? Really?

2007-06-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

I have nothing interesting to say, except...

2007-06-13T21:27:00.000-07:00

I CAN MAKE METH NOW!

So sad. So easy. That makes it even sadder.

Sunny Days

2007-06-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

it's june already? what the heck?

time travels fast. sometimes i feel like as i age, time passes a lot faster, scary but exciting at the same time.

I have nothing really substantial to say just because I've been cramming my brain with information...

The upperclassmen were right, Farm school gets harder with each quarter. It's not the fact that the concepts are hard, but the sheeeeeeeeeeeeeer volume of information that we need to learn and retain is a little unsettling.

mreh... i need to keep the perspective that I'm doing it all for God. and all of this is a gift from God, NOT to be taken for granted.

Oh Crap! Finals are in a week!

2007-06-01T14:33:00.001-07:00

!!!! >_<

from the Weekend

2007-05-29T16:33:00.000-07:00

FoodTV

2007-05-27T22:08:00.000-07:00

I love being home because I can sit and watch FoodTV all day. Like right now. I'm watching All Star Grill - South Beach. OMG...grilled bruschetta, Parsley Spice Rub over Chicken, Chocolate chip cookie s'mores, grilled pork tenderloin with coconut/tomato salad, grilled artichoke with parsley sauce.

One of these days... I'm going to make a full on Italian Meal: appetizer, entree, dessert, the whole 9 years.

Another thing that I love about being home is sitting in front of the piano. Like all good Asian children, I took piano lessons growing up. All two years. Granted, I'm not grade 10 in CM or whatever, but I love just sitting in front of the piano with just me, worship song chords and my voice. It's the best time of worship. I find that more often than not, these are the times of sweetest worship when I'm just by myself either in front of the piano or with just my guitar. It's even cooler when my parents come and sing along, too. Very informal, very relaxed, very uninhibited. I love it.

I <3 Torrance

2007-05-25T10:09:00.000-07:00

Why?

because my parents are there
because it's 5 minutes away from the beach
it's familiar
there's a park across the street

and i'm going there this weekend.

so blessed, I am.

Thanks God :)

Checklists

2007-05-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

So I've told a number of people that I have a list of things to do in San Francisco before I graduate. And another person asked if I had a list of things to do before I die. And another person asked if I had it in writing. Ok here goes:
Things to do in SF before I graduate:
1) Climb Half Dome
2) Run bay to breakers at least once more
3) To do this
4) Go Sailing in the Bay
5) See fireworks from Teasure Island
6) Go to Suite 181
7) Legion of Honor
8) go Camping somewhere...real tent, real campsite.
9) Buy something from the new Bloomingdales
10) Go to Fillmore Jazz Festival
11) Run Nike Women's Marathon (maybe half marathon...)
12) Go to Vegas and play as a legal adult, none of this under 18 stuff

Things to do before I die:
1) Read and finish Modern Library's Top 100 Models
2) Tour Italy
3) Snowboard in the Alps
4) See AnkorWat
5) Sleep the whole night in a hammock
6) Raise a kid well
7) To save a life somehow

I'll think of more stuff later. :)

Last Weekend

2007-05-18T18:13:00.001-07:00

Roz for Choice

2007-05-16T01:35:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not advocating a woman's right to choose, but I've come across a very interesting epiphany this past weekend. I can choose. I have the choice on how I react to certain situations even though sometimes I always thought i was "made" to react a certain way. I can choose my future husband. Even though it feels counterintuitive to me, I have the choice to say yes or no instead of thinking that any guy that "chooses me" is a keeper. That's what's been my downfall in the past. I have the choice to accept things and I have the choice to be joyful.

This is what free will feels like. Kind of liberating.

But you know how you know there's organic vegetables, but you still get the cheaper vegetables? You still don't get the organic vegetables (even though they might be better) because you're comfortable with the cheaper vegetables. I feel that way sometimes with this newfound freedom. I'm still in the habit of not choosing... not even considering my choices. That's an interesting habit to break.

God has brought me such a long way from that bad place, but this past weekend, he's reminded me that I'm not fine yet. That i'm still a work in progress and I definitely can't provide my own joy. It's funny how amazing His timing is.

Quick Case!

2007-05-05T23:54:00.000-07:00

RC is a 24 yo female who comes into your office complaining of dizziness, tingling hands and feeling "cold". She appears to be lethargic, her lips and conjunctiva is pale. upon physical examination reveals everything in normal limits. She has a history of irregular menses. The latest cycle started today. She also donated blood yesterday.

What do you recommend?

Yup, that's me.
Current therapy includes:
Liberal Amounts of Fluid
Ferrous Fumarate 86mg. (27mg elemental FE)

Anything else I should do?

Worst Joke Ever

2007-04-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

But I still laugh EVERY TIME.

Representative Conversation
Roz: Hey.. my mom left some updog in the freezer, what to try some?
Person A: What's updog?
Roz: Oh, nothing much, wanna go to the beach?
Person A: LAAAAAAME

dude... gets me every time.

Invisible

2007-04-23T01:57:00.000-07:00

I've felt invisible so many times before, but these children... are truly invisible. Abducted in their homes, schools, and trained to fight in the LRA. I can't imagine having to walk 10 miles every night just to find a safe place to sleep.
I was looking at the bracelet campaign and one of the bracelets is about a girl named Rosalyn. It's eerie to know that someone with my name has been abducted, raped or even killed because of this war.

Walking Contradiction

2007-04-21T19:19:00.000-07:00

So I'm walking along Parnassus Ave. and at the bus stop, I see a man dressed in jeans and a T-shirt that says.. "Trust me, I'm a Doctor." and he's smoking.

Pharmacists are supposed to have really good memories. Mine sucks. 2 weeks ago, I forgot my keys THREE TIMES that week. THREE TIMES, I had to call one of my roomates or landlord to let me in. Now I have a sign in the stairwell saying "Keys, Wallet, Cell Phone" to remind me.

Early Alzheimers?

Learning Impaired

2007-04-18T17:15:00.000-07:00

::vent::

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING FOR THERAPEUTICS!!!

a;lsdkfj jk;a lkdfj

so frustrating.

::end vent::

Loneliness

2007-04-16T23:22:00.000-07:00

I feel my loneliness more acutely when every member of my family is more than 2000 miles away.

Today, I went to class (well, some of it), went to work and came home. I did most stuff by myself, not really talking to anyone. But i've been feeling it since yesterday night when my family scattered all over the rest of the world.

Even though i was still kind of far from everyone before yesterday, I still felt like there was a connection.

Anyway...on a more positive note, if you want a prayer letter for my summer endeavors, let me know.

picture post part quatre

2007-04-10T22:27:00.000-07:00

From the biggest m&m store in the world. They have this machine that "deciphers" your color mood. I think mine is pretty accurate.

FAO Swartz. Unfortunately, we only spent like 6min in the store and the giant keyboard was closed. but the Patrick the Pups were available, so we take a picture. The lighting in this picture is amazing. Good job!

WHEN YOU CAME?!!?!!?!
is the motto of this trip? Why? I dunno.. maybe 'cause we're travelling in NYC... FoB sTyLe~!!!

Picture Post Part Trois

2007-04-10T22:25:00.000-07:00

We <3 NY!!! Taken at the Statue of Liberty. Skyline of Manhattan in the background.

Taken at Ground Zero. Apologize for the language, but I feel like it kind of hits home what my generation thinks, how we think and what we think about. Pretty powerful.

Serendipity. Aside from the UBER-rude host, the frozen hot chocolate was awesome. And so is this picture. (taken by Aileen)

We're at the met. There were 2 free pedestals, so we're now egyptian gods! Then people started copying us which made the experience pretty funny.

Picture Post Part Deax

2007-04-10T22:24:00.000-07:00

Iceskating at the Roc. do the roc-away... and lean back.. and lean back.... ok cheesy. sorry, I just burst into booty song sometimes. I love this picture, too. Except a creepy street vendor didn't take it like the one in Friends.

Taken at Max Brenner's. That you see us eating is a crepe with chocolate and hazelnut. Yes, I guess you can say it's nutella. but House made nutella!!!

SLUMBER PARTY!!! We all look beautiful without makeup. I had a really good time spending time with these girls and just having fun. Good job with the bonding. :)

PICTURE POST!

2007-04-10T22:22:00.000-07:00

Myun Hwa came! I'm sorry again for making you wait for the restaurant for so long, but it was SOOOOO good to see you! :)
As you can see... the corn in the cob in our mouths, and we are very happy. This is the BEST corn on the cob ever. Grilled, smothered with cheese and paprika. OMG so good.
(Cafe Habana - Soho)

The 4 of us (-Christina) at bar 13 with the BEST DJ EVAR! This is how I kicked off my Birthday. Fun stuff.

This is all of us (-Winnie) in Central Park. I love the composition of this picture. The sole male in the picture is Joe. He's one of Christina's friends from college and is an AWESOME tourguide. THANKS JOECHENGOD!!!

Winnie, Julie and I on some ledge at Club Duvet. This is how I finished off my birthday. DJ not as good, but it was fun, nevertheless.

2 encouraging things

2007-04-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain
-Rob Thomas

"Look into my, Lord. In obedience to your will I recall this and confess to you. May my soul now adhere to you. You detached it from the birdlime which held me fast in death. How unhappy it was! Your scalpel cut to the quick of the wound, so that I should have leave all these ambitions and be converted to you, who are 'above all things' (Rom 9:5) and without whom all things are nothing, and that by conversion I should be healed."
-St. Augustine

4Seasons

2007-04-03T19:05:00.000-07:00

The 4 seasons is a really popular metaphor for life. Why? Because it fits so well.

I dunno...

I feel like my life so far has gone through Spring (being born), Summer (growing up), Fall (High School, parts of college), Winter (parts of college and first year of pharmacy school) and now the season has come back to Spring.

Bringing in another cliche, spring really does come in like a lion and out like a lamb. I feel like the frost is melting from my psyche and shoots are growing. Am I establishing roots in the bay area? I dunno. But I feel like I'm in that transition between winter and spring. Where it rains a lot, there's a lot of growth and hopefully some flowering coming soon and some snow still left on the ground. Episodes of sadness, of wanting not to live anymore, extreme tiredness, burntoutness and fatigue have plagued my bones these past few years and I'm ready for Spring.

I'm ready for the growth, for the growing pains that shape one's character. I still hurt, but i've come to realize that the hurt is good. People who have lived charmed lives don't know what it feels like to hurt and their joy is taken for granted. I never EVER want to take the joy that I've recieved for granted. ever.

and that, again is too poetic for my own good.

time for pho!.... pho' shizzle.

Buzz

2007-04-02T13:10:00.000-07:00

This morning was abuzz. The classroom was swimming with both excitement and disappointment. Everyone was asking everyone else "where are you going?" Today was the day the list was posted. The list of the rotation site assignments. We're placed in one of 6 sites: San Francisco, South Bay, LA/OC, Fresno, Davis and San Diego. Yesterday we were all nervous.

Where am I going?

I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying. :)

Blue Like Jazz

2007-03-30T10:46:00.000-07:00

I guess I have a lot to say considering I updated about 12 hrs ago.

But on the plane ride to and fro NY, I started and finished Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. Yes, I'm still working on Anna Karenina and Confessions. But I borrowed the book for spring break (THANKS JEN!!) and thought I should read it. It reads a lot like a blog. But the book is interesting in that it is written from life in the first person. It's unexpectedly candid and he is very real and honest about his faith. This book is the manifestation of Phil 2:12. Donald Miller continues to work out his salvation with fear and trembling and its very apparent in his book.

Something that I don't exactly agree with is his description of is salvation as being "Christian Spirituality" and comparing it to the negatively connoted "Christianity" and "Fundamentalism." I think it is still possible to be a fundamentalist christian and still have liberal ideas about social justice and politics. I dunno, it's just me. As some people would describe me as a "utopian idealist."

Gosh... that was dang academic. I think it's a good read. God works in subtle ways in the U.S. and this book is a testament to it.

What else was I going to talk about?

oh yeah,

So I AM going to try this reading one non science book a quarter thing. Even though therapeutics (the ugly monster that will probably be my profession in the next 5 years) I still want to be well rounded and experience everything from art to literature to good music. BTW, Duncan Shiek is playing at the independent in April. Anyone want to come with me?

OH YEAH, i wanted to talk about goals this quarter...

It's the year of the pig and I just turned 24. Excuse me if this sounds self absorbed, but this is going to be MY YEAR. Yes, that's right. So prepare, people. I actually always wanted to say that and no I have nothing interesting to follow it up with. oh well. Goes to show how deep I am. :P

WHEN YOU CAME?!

2007-03-30T00:34:00.000-07:00

Travellers:
Aileen
Christina
Julie
Roz
Winnie

Tourguide:
Joe Cheng(od)

Restaurants:
Spice
Cafe Habana
Afghan House
Gray's Papaya
Il Something Trattoria
Burmese House
Pommes Frites
So-lang Tang (in NY K-town)
Squisito Pizza
Hot Dog Stand
Nuts4Nuts
Empenada Mama's
Yeah! Shanghai (xiao long bao.. makes me want to say.. PEACE OUT, A TOWN!)

Desserts:
Cafe Lola
Serendipity 3
Max Benner's Chocolates
Rice to Riches
Lindt Store
M&M Store

Attractions:
Rent on Broadway
Times Square
Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island
East Villiage
Chinatown
Watching a street fight
Ground Zero
SHOPPING!!!
Guggenheim
the Met
J. Lo, her booty and her emaciated husband

Bars/Clubs:
Crocodile Lounge
Club Duvet
Bar 13
230 5th Ave

I <3
N Y